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Poohbah
Member Since Nov 2017
Location: United States
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#21
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Veteran Member
Member Since Mar 2019
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#22
Do you think skipping sessions like that affects him much? I would think that going there and very directly telling him what bothers you might affect him much more, and more productively, given that he would have material to reflect on and work with. If you like that kind of therapy, to dissect what goes on between the two of you.
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LonesomeTonight
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
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#23
I’m sometimes 5 minutes late because I’m coming straight from work. She doesn’t really mention it. One time she did though because I was 10 minutes late. She wasn’t rude though just not very happy. I never cancel because I’ll be charged $70. Which equals to what about 5 sessions would normally cost. I think it’s unfair that I get charged yet she gets to cancel and I’m just supposed to be ok with that.
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SlumberKitty
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autonoe
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jan 2014
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#24
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LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Poohbah
Member Since Nov 2017
Location: United States
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#25
I just left my T’s office. We talked about my canceling last minute for one of my appointments last week. I was stressed about his response but didn’t need to be because he might be the most understanding human ever. He said he missed me. He also said he thinks it might just be that I felt I shared to much the day before and felt that was enough. He said he would still encourage me to come in and talk about that, but I don’t need to if I don’t want to. In the bigger context of being a bit of a perfectionist, he talked about how we are both imperfect people and will make mistakes. He will try not to make mistakes with me, but he likely will and we’ll talk through it. Maybe he won’t respond to a certain email and I’ll feel neglected or maybe he will respond to an email and I’ll be triggered by it. He said it’s messy and we’ll talk it through those things. I was pretty quiet in session, but as I drove home I had tears streaming down my face. My childhood would have been so much easier if my parents had that attitude.
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Lonelyinmyheart, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty, Xynesthesia2
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Lonelyinmyheart
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Member Since Mar 2019
Location: USA
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#26
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SlumberKitty
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Lrad123
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Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
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#27
Aw, I'm glad he responded so well to you. He sounds quite a bit like Dr. T in some of what he said.
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SlumberKitty
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Lrad123
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#28
It was 10 minutes though which was pretty late. That time it was on me though because I clocked out late and then desperately had to use the bathroom before I left work. I should have gone during my shift. Yeah she knows I come from work though. She’s offered to switch days but I like having my session right after the weekend.
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LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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#29
I have never skipped my sessions. I enjoy them too much but if I did I think my t would be concerned.
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Poohbah
Member Since Nov 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 1,332
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#30
This makes a ton of sense and I think a lot of people on this forum tend to feel the way you do about skipping. I’m trying to figure out why my automatic response to thinking about my upcoming therapy appointment is to consider skipping. I actually like my T and there is something I like about going, otherwise I wouldn’t have stuck with him for 2 years. Thinking about going often causes me anxiety, though, and I don’t know why because my T has always been consistently kind and nonjudgmental..
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Member
Member Since Feb 2011
Location: in an old house
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#31
I think there is a big difference between canceling and just not showing up. I am not saying that there needs to be a crisis to cancel either. It's just that not showing up suggests to me a rupture in the therapeutic relationship and that might be important to address. To intentionally no show is also a bit rude. If you stood up a friend it would be rude. Same goes for standing up a business colleague. To me, its like not showing up for a hair appointment. I would feel compelled to pay the service provider for their time. I would also want to examine why I chose that behavior.
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autonoe
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Member Since Apr 2018
Location: US
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#32
I got to the point with my last therapist that my sessions were causing me as much anxiety as other issues I was dealing with. I hated going. I would cancel an appointment every few weeks just to give myself a break, but I always gave at least a few hours notice. He never mentioned it. I got the impression that he had other clients who would just not show up.
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Grand Member
Member Since Sep 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 750
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#33
I sent my T a message that I was hesitant to come to our next session because of a rupture we’re in due to something that originated with her own issues. She had a pretty defensive and reactive reply. This can’t be a good sign...
Also please don’t bash her here. Compassion is much better. __________________ "I think I'm a hypochondriac. I sure hope so, otherwise I'm just about to die." PTSD OCD Anxiety Major Depressive Disorder (Severe & Recurrent) |
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LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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