Couch 207: The spiced gingerbread couch

SheHulk07 · Nov 13, 2019 at 10:07 PM

I talked to my T today about this whole Team meeting we're supposed to have in a few weeks. The case worker invites all therapists, etc to the meeting. T and I agreed that it would put a wrench in our therapeutic relationship to see him at a meeting with a bunch of cps workers talking about us. Not to mention H will be there. I dont know if the kids' therapists will be there or Hs therapist.

LostOnTheTrail · Nov 14, 2019 at 04:13 AM

@SlumberKitty You ought to be able to contact your PCP or whoever deals with that, Kit, and request that you be taken off that list. I'm in the UK, but I was able to do so, and they won't send a reminder for three years now.

chihirochild · Nov 14, 2019 at 07:26 AM

I’m going to a lecture facilitated by a man I used to be deeply and hopelessly in love with (it was unrequited—he was my mentor in med school, it was complicated etc etc).

I probably shouldn’t be doing this. My T will not be thrilled.

Jersey 4 · Nov 14, 2019 at 08:00 AM

I screamed at the kids at work last night. Unacceptable. The 4 year old punched me in my back and I lost my cool. That’s not okay. The way either of us acted is not okay.

atisketatasket · Nov 14, 2019 at 08:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jersey 4

I screamed at the kids at work last night. Unacceptable. The 4 year old punched me in my back and I lost my cool. That’s not okay. The way either of us acted is not okay.

I actually think it is perfectly okay to yell at a four year old who has just punched someone, whoever it is.

Cut yourself a break and don’t beat up on yourself, Jersey. You’re tending to three kids, one an infant and one with some kind of behavioral issues, while fighting (what sounds like) depression and exhaustion.

Jersey 4 · Nov 14, 2019 at 08:47 AM

Thanks @@. I Told their mom so she wouldn’t be taken aback when she watches the footage from the camera. She just said that although screaming at them solves nothing-they are very good at getting negative attention when they want it. So she didn’t really think it was okay but she didn’t dismiss her kids actions either. That’s why I like this lady. She doesn’t think her kids are perfect and do no wrong.

Jersey 4 · Nov 14, 2019 at 08:57 AM

What boggles me about this 4 year old is that he justifies his actions as okay as long as he is the one doing them. For example, the other day he grabbed his little sister by her neck and threw her out of the playroom because she touched his Legos. Once everything was calm I asked him what he would do if he saw another boy doing that to his sister. He said: Well, Jersey I would protect her and beat them up because she doesn’t know how to protect herself. I said well then why do you do it if she can’t protect herself. He said because I’m her brother and it’s okay for me but not another boy.

stopdog · Nov 14, 2019 at 09:05 AM

I understand the 4 yr old. I feel that way about my sibling and we are both in our 50s. I thought (I could be wrong) it was a fairly common approach to siblings.
I don't grab and throw my sibling any more. Although sometimes I have the urge.
But I would also have the urge to protect the goofus from anyone else.

It does sound like you are tired and hate this job.

Jersey 4 · Nov 14, 2019 at 09:12 AM

I guess an older sibling could feel that way? I’m the middle sibling so I just used to get great joy in bothering my older sister and she would go after me but never protected. As for my younger sister I just always protected her. I never wanted to hurt her. But this boy and girl are only 1.5 years apart. I’m 9 years older than my younger sister.

atisketatasket · Nov 14, 2019 at 09:36 AM

So you have a four year old who’s punched you, grabbed his sister by the neck and threw her around, and once attacked the baby iirc?

When is this kid getting help? He’s going to end up damaging his siblings emotionally if not physically.

The worst my siblings and I ever did was bicker or poke each other hard.

Jersey 4 · Nov 14, 2019 at 09:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

So you have a four year old who’s punched you, grabbed his sister by the neck and threw her around, and once attacked the baby iirc?

When is this kid getting help? He’s going to end up damaging his siblings emotionally if not physically.

The worst my siblings and I ever did was bicker or poke each other hard.

He’s supposed to have an evaluation in January to start getting services. He’s on the cancellation list for something sooner. That’s what his mom said anyway. I don’t know why they didn’t go private to get him help sooner.

susannahsays · Nov 14, 2019 at 09:47 AM

My sister would throw herself on the ground and say I pushed her, but I never did. I think the worst thing that happened physically was one time she kicked me in the shins with her rollerblades on. That hurt. I remember wanting to put my hands on her a few times, though.

Oh, and she also thought it was funny to stick those little pins you use for sewing into these plastic wicker like chairs my grandparents had. However, she was really young and I'm pretty sure she got the idea from my cousin who is older than her.

My sister sounds a bit naughty from these descriptions, but she's actually a really great sister and always has been.

Jersey 4 · Nov 14, 2019 at 09:52 AM

He does stuff to his sister a lot. Usually in the midst of one of his fits. If I don’t catch him and redirect him as soon as he gets that look in his eyes then it’s usually too late for me to get to him before he gets to her. Especially if I’m in the middle of changing a diaper or something.

unaluna · Nov 14, 2019 at 09:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jersey 4

I screamed at the kids at work last night. Unacceptable. The 4 year old punched me in my back and I lost my cool. That’s not okay. The way either of us acted is not okay.

This is not on you, Jersey. I think hes acting out his parents disinterest in the kids, and how his parents treat each other (disrespectfully). I mean, who has 3 kids in 5 years and leaves them with a nanny? Was there a live-in nanny before? What is wrong with those people? Are they lawyers or what?

Jersey 4 · Nov 14, 2019 at 09:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unaluna

This is not on you, Jersey. I think hes acting out his parents disinterest in the kids, and how his parents treat each other (disrespectfully). I mean, who has 3 kids in 5 years and leaves them with a nanny? Was there a live-in nanny before? What is wrong with those people? Are they lawyers or what?

They are doctors. Before they had a nanny the kids were in daycare and they had a part time babysitter that would pick them up from daycare and look after them until one of them got home from work. They took the kids out of daycare and got a nanny because they wanted the boy to go an actual preschool. He will be in kindergarten next year.

Jersey 4 · Nov 14, 2019 at 10:00 AM

I know he needs more attention. He wanted me to wash him in the tub last night instead of him washing himself. I didn’t wash him because I wasn’t familiar with the laws on that and I didn’t feel protected because there are not cameras in the bathrooms. He was frustrated I wouldn’t wash him.

unaluna · Nov 14, 2019 at 10:00 AM

Then they would have the money to put the two younger ones back in daycare. That might be the solution to this.

Jersey 4 · Nov 14, 2019 at 10:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unaluna

Then they would have the money to put the two younger ones back in daycare. That might be the solution to this.

They could temporarily but then the now 3 year old would just end up going to an actual preschool class in September for her kindergarten prep. I know there is no law that states you have to enroll your kids in kindergarten prep, but they are big on proper education.

atisketatasket · Nov 14, 2019 at 10:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unaluna

I mean, who has 3 kids in 5 years and leaves them with a nanny? Was there a live-in nanny before? What is wrong with those people? Are they lawyers or what?

Ummm...you’re talking about my childhood here. :embarrassed:

I feel really sorry for the sister. (And if he waits till you’re distracted, it’s intentional.)

unaluna · Nov 14, 2019 at 10:05 AM

Yeah but she would be alive to go!

Thats a whole year away. Thats huge for these kids, imo.

Menu

My Support Forums - Mental Health Support Groups

Get emotional support and friendship from others like you!

Couch 207: The spiced gingerbread couch

My Support Forums

chihirochild Magnate Member Since Feb 2017 Location: North America Posts: 2,360 7 4,865 hugs given	Nov 14, 2019 at 07:26 AM #963 I’m going to a lecture facilitated by a man I used to be deeply and hopelessly in love with (it was unrequited—he was my mentor in med school, it was complicated etc etc). I probably shouldn’t be doing this. My T will not be thrilled.

Jersey 4 Poohbah Member Since Feb 2019 Location: NJ Posts: 1,162 5 1,170 hugs given	Nov 14, 2019 at 08:00 AM #964 I screamed at the kids at work last night. Unacceptable. The 4 year old punched me in my back and I lost my cool. That’s not okay. The way either of us acted is not okay.

Jersey 4 Poohbah Member Since Feb 2019 Location: NJ Posts: 1,162 5 1,170 hugs given	Nov 14, 2019 at 09:12 AM #969 I guess an older sibling could feel that way? I’m the middle sibling so I just used to get great joy in bothering my older sister and she would go after me but never protected. As for my younger sister I just always protected her. I never wanted to hurt her. But this boy and girl are only 1.5 years apart. I’m 9 years older than my younger sister.

Jersey 4 Poohbah Member Since Feb 2019 Location: NJ Posts: 1,162 5 1,170 hugs given	Nov 14, 2019 at 09:52 AM #973 He does stuff to his sister a lot. Usually in the midst of one of his fits. If I don’t catch him and redirect him as soon as he gets that look in his eyes then it’s usually too late for me to get to him before he gets to her. Especially if I’m in the middle of changing a diaper or something.

Jersey 4 Poohbah Member Since Feb 2019 Location: NJ Posts: 1,162 5 1,170 hugs given	Nov 14, 2019 at 10:00 AM #976 I know he needs more attention. He wanted me to wash him in the tub last night instead of him washing himself. I didn’t wash him because I wasn’t familiar with the laws on that and I didn’t feel protected because there are not cameras in the bathrooms. He was frustrated I wouldn’t wash him.

unaluna Elder Harridan x-hankster Member Since Jun 2011 Location: Milan/Michigan Posts: 39,871 (SuperPoster!) 12 66.4k hugs given	Nov 14, 2019 at 10:00 AM #977 Then they would have the money to put the two younger ones back in daycare. That might be the solution to this.

unaluna Elder Harridan x-hankster Member Since Jun 2011 Location: Milan/Michigan Posts: 39,871 (SuperPoster!) 12 66.4k hugs given	Nov 14, 2019 at 10:05 AM #980 Yeah but she would be alive to go! Thats a whole year away. Thats huge for these kids, imo.