[MohawkLady]

Hi All,

For many good reasons I recently decided to seek therapy. I'm limited, as most people are, to the professionals who take my insurance. Limiting me further is my location. This is an extremely rural area, and most medical professionals have to maintain several remote offices to survive. The more ambitious ones just move to a more populated area. You are correct if you presume that means my choice of therapists was pretty much one guy.

I didn't think about gender at the time when I made my first appointment. I was more concerned with a possible communication barrier because Spanish was his first language. That has turned out to be a little bit of a problem because, well, it just is, guys. The therapist read from my resume that I graduated Magna Cum Laude and pronounced it so badly I had not one clue what he was saying for several minutes. Mignita see old? What? *Searching ... searching* Oh!

He gave me a clue when he said something about being 'brainy.'

This was the second session. The first one was great. I came away with a sense of hope and relief. The second session made me dread future sessions, and not just because he wasn't on top of his English. He slumped in this chair, legs wide, clearly bored. He interrupted me constantly. He didn't suggest I go to the gym, he ordered me to. When I mentioned I had already thought about the gym but was treating an injury before I could 'return,' he told me all I was doing was 'making excuses.' He made 'blah, blah, blah,' hand movements to illustrate. Then he pronounced I had low self-esteem. I was once an eleven-year wife to a malignant narcissist. I was like, 'Well, that may be true. I don't think so, but okay.' And the CURE is to post affirmations everywhere in my home to tell myself I'm pretty. Pretty? That's what will build my self-esteem? Pretty?

Yeah, so this is not a suicide note, there is no 'To be or not to be' going on here, but is no therapy sometimes better than this kind?

Thanks for any input you have to offer.
MohawkLady

[nottrustin]

Yikes, I could have dealt with the mispronunciation but the rest sounds horrible. Does your insurance allow for video sessions? It may not the most ideal way for therapy, but maybe your best option.

[here today]

Yes, no therapy is better than this kind. You don't want another "relationship" with a(nother) (malignant) narcissist.

Unfortunately, in my long experience with lots of therapists, there are many who aren't too good and I got hooked into looking to them for help where there was no help to be found.

There are lots of good resources for self-help on the web. School of Life is one. And I've found the peer support on PsychCentral to be very helpful. Have you checked out any of the other subforums? Some that may be more specific to your situation? Depression? Relationships and Communication? for instance.

Welcome to PsychCentral. Hope you find it helpful here.

[ArtleyWilkins]

Ooh,no way. He sounds useless at best.

[Omers]

Yep, no therapy is better than bad therapy! Had my share of that! You may want to look into phone or internet options. Also, there is a subset of therapists that specialize in working with gifted/high IQ individuals that might be worth looking into.

Speaking from experience I stuck with an inadequate therapist for quiet some time. But this one sounds worse then the one I had.

Sticking with a bad therapist was more about me avoiding then anything and she didn't do me any long term damage and it was useful having someone there who knew my story. It did mean my progress was limited and I spent a lot of time not respecting her guidance because I didn't think she was great. So essentially it's a waste of time. I would try Skype. I know friends who have been really hesitant but because of their circumstances abd needs they went with it and they just got used to it and it works for them.

[Rive.]

No therapy is definitely better than wasting your time/money with this useless boor of a man. Inept doesn't begin to qualify him.

[MohawkLady]

Thanks to all who gave your input. Between what you said, and a few other comments, I did cancel any future sessions with ... what was that Rive crowned him? Oh, Useless bore of a man 502041 made the point he/she stayed with substandard therapy to avoid having to deal with any fallout from leaving, and I can relate. I was/am convinced that if I tried to explain in a session, my discomfort with his 'style' would become another eye-roll ceiling stare, exasperated sigh moment where I got to feel like I was seconds from having an outright battle with my own therapist. I hate confrontation and will move heaven and earth to avoid it, generally. I can tough my way through it, but it's really not a good time for me. In our last session, the raised eyebrows and accusations that I was making excuses, followed by cutting me off every time I attempted to speak was enough to send me back into my shell. My 'Yes, Dad,' reaction was enough for me to know this wasn't going to be useful for me but it did take a few supportive voices for me to follow my instincts. Thanks again for your input.

[Xynesthesia2]

I agree with everyone else, I would not see that jerk. I would not care about accent but very poor use of language bothers me usually in professionals even though I had a period like that myself when I first moved to a foreign country. But in this case, his attitude sucks, he does not sound very intelligent but quite sloppy.

[stopdog]

Not to therapy. This guy sounds like a disaster.