[mindmechanic]

Do you guys think it's okay for therapists to Google their clients out of curiosity?

The therapist said that when she was preparing my billing statement, she Googled my last name to find out where I'm from. She said that she did it out of curiosity. The therapist said that curiosity is good and that I Googled her as well and know information about her and her family on the Internet. However, I don't think that that's an appropriate comparison.

I think that it's okay and understandable for clients to Google their therapist, but I don't think that it's ever okay for therapists to Google their clients unless it's for concern for the client's safety. Given the nature of therapy work, it's understandable for clients to look up their therapist - someone who they are opening up to and allowing for connection to happen. The therapy relationship is one-way; it's not two-way like a friendship or coworker relationship.

I also think that it's inappropriate and unethical for therapists to Google clients simply out of curiosity because therapy is about what clients into the room or share with the therapist. The therapist doesn't see how it's inappropriate or unethical. She said that curiosity is good. Yes; I agree that curiosity is good, but in the context of therapy, she should leave it in the therapy room or ask me about it directly instead of looking it up on the Internet. Therapy isn't detective work; therapy is about meeting clients where they're at and taking what clients share with the therapist.

I believe in rupture and repair, but I don't know whether it's possible to repair this situation. Even though she said that she wouldn't look me up again in any way, she seems to hold a fundamentally different and concerning principle about therapy treatment than me. I don't know if I can trust a therapist who thinks it's okay for therapists to Google clients out of curiosity and who fail to see how it's inappropriate and unethical. It's simply not appropriate given the nature of therapy work and the therapeutic relationship.

I'm schizoid and highly value my privacy and space. What she did is very intrusive. She tried to downplay it by saying that it's only the last name that she looked up. It doesn't matter. The issue is that she looked me up. Why didn't she just ask me directly? The fact that she didn't ask me about it directly probably goes to show that a part of her knew that it was personal demographical information that I wasn't ready to disclose to her. Therapists are supposed to respect and meet clients where they're at.

The therapist also tried to justify her actions by saying that there was much that she didn't know about me and that it was too much holding for her. But much of therapy is the therapist holding, waiting, and having patience - even if it means waiting for years for a client to make progress or share something.

To give an analogy, if the therapist knows that a client has an online journey where the client shares stories of past abuse, but the client doesn't share it directly with the therapist, is it okay for the therapist to look up the client's online journal out of curiosity without the client knowing? No; it's not appropriate. The therapist is supposed to hold, wait, and be patient until the client decides to bring it to the therapy room and relationship.

Even if I'm not schizoid, this would still make me feel uncomfortable. Therapy is what the client brings into the room. While curiosity is good and welcomed, therapists shouldn't be Googling clients.

[ArtleyWilkins]

I’m of the mind that, in general, respect for privacy is greatly lessened in this world of instant gratification and social media. There exists an attitude of entitlement to everyone else’s private business, justified by blaming people for not monitoring what information about them is out on the web rather than owning responsibility for being snoopy and intrusive.

However, it is a bit hypocritical to be perfectly okay with doing this but criticizing someone else for doing the same to you, therapist or not.

[mindmechanic]

@ArtleyWilkins: I don't think it's a double-standard for clients to look therapists up but not be okay with their therapists looking them up. As I explained, the therapy relationship is one-way where the client is opening up and sharing much about him- or herself to the therapist. It's understandable for clients to look their therapists up to find out more about this stranger who they're opening up to. If the therapist is Googling a client out of concern for his or her safety, it would be appropriate and understandable - perhaps even ethical and necessary. If a therapist is working with someone who is potentially a psychopath and dangerous, then it's understandable and appropriate for the therapist to look up the client because it concerns the therapist's and other people's safety. But to look a client's last name up purely out of curiosity isn't appropriate for a therapist to do given the nature of the therapy work and relationship. Therapy is about what the client brings into the room.

[ArtleyWilkins]

And my opinion stands.

[Xynesthesia2]

This is definitely a controversial issue... I personally think it is okay for anyone to google anyone else, Ts included, but I know some people think quite differently. Whether it is unethical or unprofessional is a different question. I personally would encourage anyone interested in getting to know me to use google for gathering info that might not come up in direct interactions. I posted on PC before that I would be very surprised if Ts never google clients... some apparently don't, but I've heard enough of them saying they do. The public web is not private information really. What, I think, they should not do is tell the client (unless the client brings it up) - for me, that is intrusive and inappropriate.

One could ask similar questions about whether it's okay for a lawyer to google their client, or an employer to google job candidates. I am sure some people would argue a T is different, but IMO it's the same.

[mindmechanic]

After therapy last night when I learned about this, I looked it up to verify what the professional community thinks about it. I came across these articles.

Is it ever OK for a therapist to snoop on clients online?
Do Therapists Ever Google Their Patients? | HuffPost Life

Don't you guys think that therapy is about what the client brings into the therapy room? It's not about therapists doing detective work. A lot of therapy is taking time to build rapport, trust, and safety while the client slowly unfolds more personal information and stories.

[ArtleyWilkins]

Yes, but I am not one to google the people I professionally interact with beyond their professional website and, in the case of a service, perhaps reviews. I know what is out there about me and honestly can’t do much about most of it because I’m a government employee so much of it is considered public information. It isn’t particularly revealing — even my exact salary. I mean, honestly, nothing out there is so revealing that it would even begin to touch on the issues I would intend to address in my therapy, so I know personally whatever is out there really wouldn’t make a difference in therapy.

[Xynesthesia2]

I can easily understand both sides of this in spite of my own opinion. If it disturbs you, maybe do the usual thing and discuss it with the T why, tell her your view on its being unethical etc. Might be a good topic and perhaps the T would learn something from it as well.

The truth though is that there is no way to enforce this type of ethic unless it is related to some extremely serious criminal act (e.g. the T would use the info to breach confidentiality or in other ways) - everyone will google privately whatever they want these days, regardless of what others say, I believe. You can tell the T it bothers you and maybe they will never do it again or perhaps they will just be more careful not to make it known.

[toomanycats]

I would definitely feel intruded upon if my therapist Googled me.
I don't know that it'd be considered unethical, but it would make me uncomfortable.

[LonesomeTonight]

I'd feel uncomfortable if a T googled me--and I say this as someone who has done a fair share of googling of her T's. This came up once with Dr. T, and he said he would never google a client, look at their social media, etc. I've mentioned posting on this forum numerous times, and at one point nearly said my username. He said he would never look on here for me (plus he'd likely be able to figure out who I was anyway!). So I did end up sharing the name with him. I trust that he wouldn't look.

[Omers]

My T would never google me because it is extremely important to him that I not feel pressured to tell him anything I am not ready to. If he found something concerning to him he would have put himself in a very painful ethical bind of wanting to help but having to break his rule about not pressuring me. He wouldn’t do that to himself. If he did google me, eh, I am fine with that... heck, if he wanted me to leave my computer with all my passwords I would because then I wouldn’t have to do the work of trusting him. It honestly would not surprise me if my Pdoc googled me. As soon as I told her I had a new T she googled him!! Looked up his license # and she went through his business webpage. Again, doesn’t really bother me... but I have a completely different set of concerns driving me to therapy than you do.

[atisketatasket]

I don’t think therapists should google clients. They do—someone linked to a study on here once that said something like 90% of newly-licensed therapists do it.

In the instance in which yours googled you she could have just asked you for the same information.

And if the client has information online that the therapist doesn’t know—like stories of past abuse—the therapist shouldn’t know them until the client is ready to tell them. Knowing them beforehand could create all kinds of problems in the therapy.

[mindmechanic]

This therapist has been in practice for over 30 years. She wrote to me this morning, saying, "As you're working this out: remember, among other things, that I refused to talk with your old therapist sharing with me any information that could not be shared with you. That should count in your deliberations."

The fact that she is continuously trying to defend her position is a turn off to me. At this point, I need her to understand it from my perspective and have empathy for what it's like in my position.

[elisewin]

Many therapists probably google clients they are curious about once in a while (I can belive with ease the figure 90% of newly licensed T's). Just like most of the people do. Maybe they just shouldn't share it with the clients.

[Xynesthesia2]

Originally Posted by mindmechanic

This therapist has been in practice for over 30 years. She wrote to me this morning, saying, "As you're working this out: remember, among other things, that I refused to talk with your old therapist sharing with me any information that could not be shared with you. That should count in your deliberations."

This is totally irrelevant to the googling issue. If this was her reaction to your complaining about looking you up on the web, it is certainly deflecting and defensive.

[amandalouise]

here where I am its perfectly acceptable for therapists, employers, doctors you name it to google their clients, patients, employees and so on. even agencies like social security, social services agencies use google these days for screening and other forms of information. we live in the computer era now where even phone books, birth certificates and so on, are online and how is one to for example call a patient if they don't google the person to find their address and phone number.

most mental health agencies in America now include in their rights and responsibilities papers questions like

"this agencies uses (website name) for background checks, obtaining clients addresses and phone numbers and does co operate with law enforcement, furthermore this agency does employ the use of video recording for security and patient safety purposes"

Another statement / question on rights and responsibility paper work I have encountered with treatment providers of all kinds is..."this agency has the right to use the internet services if comfortable please include your … (spaces to write whether you want texting, emailing, messaging to your social network private messaging option) please be aware that all texting, emailing messaging options should any conversations take place those conversations between treatment provider and patient will be printed and added to patient files. by filling in these optional services you are consenting to the use of our internet services that this agency provides."

in other words the internet "google" has taken the place of paper versions... a paper phone book on the living room stand, a paper letter/ memo mailed to your home delivered by your post man. the background checks that treatment providers do to verify your personal information that you have willfully placed on your intake forms. before computers these things were done by calling around to various agencies to verify your information, now with computers this happens by googling.

treatment providers who's agency has internet services that they provide with their clients still have to abide by privacy laws. example if my treatment provider googles me to find my phone number she may find I have a facebook page, what do facebook pages contain in a persons profile …. a phone number. so she may end up opening my facebook profile for my phone number and curiousity catches her with that colorful meme on my page, and in reading that meme discover something above or below it that I have not disclosed to her. she can bring it up with me but she can not disclose what she now knows about me to others UNLESS what she discovered was a crime, in which case she is bound by law to report it.

anyone that has a problem with treatment providers googling them should have a conversation with their treatment providers and make sure that they did not supply their email, twitter/ facebook and so forth on the standard paperwork the mental health agency has you do, you can also write in the space provided for more information that you opt out of your therapist and the mental health agency using the internet services for texting, emailing and so on, then give complete information on how you would like to receive notifications, letters and so on that mental health agencies sometimes need to notify you about. this way they will know that your treatment provider is not to google you for anything. not even to text your cell phones email accounts, social networking sites messaging services.

[SlumberKitty]

I don't know how I feel about this issue. It probably wouldn't bother me if my therapist googled me. I've googled myself and there's not much out there about me, particularly because I don't engage in social media besides Linked In. And that's pretty blah. I've googled my therapists to find any professional websites like on Psychology Today or any reviews but not much beyond that. I don't look at their Facebook pages if they even have such a thing. But I don't think that therapists should jump the gun and try to get information about the client by googling the client before the client is ready to reveal. I guess I don't have much to add of value to this conversation. Oh well. I'll still post my view. FWIW.

[arielawhile]

I'm not sure if it's okay or ethical, but I don't think it's a great way to practice therapy. When and how a person reveals things contain so much about who that person is. Stories about how they see themselves or who they are or where they currently are in life that you can't learn by googling. So by leaping ahead in the story and googling, the therapist is robbing herself of the chance to learn these truths about her client.

Originally Posted by ArtleyWilkins

I’m of the mind that, in general, respect for privacy is greatly lessened in this world of instant gratification and social media. There exists an attitude of entitlement to everyone else’s private business, justified by blaming people for not monitoring what information about them is out on the web rather than owning responsibility for being snoopy and intrusive.

However, it is a bit hypocritical to be perfectly okay with doing this but criticizing someone else for doing the same to you, therapist or not.

EXACTLY! Hands down true!

[LonesomeTonight]

So, to clarify, you said she googled your last name to figure out where you're from. Do you mean, like, your country of origin, heritage, ethnicity, something like that? Because that would actually probably bother me on another level. Is that really her business? Plus, it may not be accurate (like if my T googled my married name, he'd assume I was originally from a particular European country--OK, my heritage is actually 1/4 from that country, but he also wouldn't know that from googling my maiden name). Or do you mean she was trying to figure out, say, what town/city you were born in? (Though she'd need your first name for that, too, I imagine.) Still, that seems like something she could just ask you.

[SlumberKitty]

With my last name, the highest concentration of people with my last name is in New Zealand. But we are also in South Africa, Ireland, Scotland, Wales, England, and United States with South Carolina, Texas, and California being the highest concentration of people with my last name in the states. That said, I don't see how that would help anyone figure out where I was from. Although I am from California. But I've had a lot of people in my life ask me if I am from South Africa.

[SlumberKitty]

To add, it bothers me when people ask me if I am from South Africa. I'm like, no I'm American.

[arielawhile]

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

So, to clarify, you said she googled your last name to figure out where you're from. Do you mean, like, your country of origin, heritage, ethnicity, something like that? Because that would actually probably bother me on another level. Is that really her business? Plus, it may not be accurate (like if my T googled my married name, he'd assume I was originally from a particular European country--OK, my heritage is actually 1/4 from that country, but he also wouldn't know that from googling my maiden name). Or do you mean she was trying to figure out, say, what town/city you were born in? (Though she'd need your first name for that, too, I imagine.) Still, that seems like something she could just ask you.

Totally missed this. If true, it slides into a sort of high tech "Where are you from? Where are you really from?" territory. Ugh. I'm an ethnic minority (though I grew up in the U.S. and have like zero accent, etc.), and I've gotten it a lot. It's...annoying.

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

So, to clarify, you said she googled your last name to figure out where you're from. Do you mean, like, your country of origin, heritage, ethnicity, something like that? Because that would actually probably bother me on another level. Is that really her business? Plus, it may not be accurate (like if my T googled my married name, he'd assume I was originally from a particular European country--OK, my heritage is actually 1/4 from that country, but he also wouldn't know that from googling my maiden name). Or do you mean she was trying to figure out, say, what town/city you were born in? (Though she'd need your first name for that, too, I imagine.) Still, that seems like something she could just ask you.

Yes, the therapist could of just asked where she/he was from. In fact, this is usually asked during the intake visit.

[Salmon77]

I wouldn't have a problem with my T googling me once or twice, but clearly it bothers you a lot and that's a valid position to take. I wondered also, what LonesomeTonight and ArielAwhile mentioned, if she was trying to figure out ethnicity or something like that—that seems a bit offensive, honestly, and far more personal than, say, your hometown or something. If this T has been helpful otherwise up to this point, I think you could try to go forward but with the understanding that you need to control what information she has about you and that she will not look you up like that again. Even if it is okay with some people, it is not okay with you, and that is important for her to understand and acknowledge.