[goatee]

I’ve been seeing my T for many years. I’m very close to her and we’ve done great work together. Unfortunately, I became ill a few years ago and can no longer work. As a result, my income has decreased dramatically and this has been difficult financially for me and my family. My T is very aware of this as it’s an issue I’ve been working through in therapy, like how to still feel useful even when ill and not working and not contributing, etc. My illness has been horrific to deal with and T has been helping me through it by contacting me daily. She of course has to charge me for this contact. The problem is I can no longer afford this (she has said there’s no way we can have the same contact but she could charge me less), but I also can’t fathom losing the support right now given what I’m facing. I’d appreciate any thoughts or advice because I don’t know what to do. Thanks.

[Blueberry21]

That’s SO difficult and I’m really sorry for what you’re going through. Is she not able to negotiate a fee reduction under any circumstances? What if you were to reduce co tact to every other day (as hard as that might be - it could be necessary)?

Honestly, I had to drastically cut down my contact with T because I realized I was becoming dependent on it, and it was financially unsustainable for me. It was almost like quitting drugs, but I’m glad I’ve done it. I don’t think it’s healthy to need daily contact with your therapist unless it’s literally keeping you alive...

Is there anyone else in your life whom you can lean on for some daily contact? Even if it’s just a few words. This is what I ultimately had to do.

[Taylor27]

I have no advice. I hope there is a way you can keep seeing her. Have you thought about keeping a journal if you cannot have that daily contact or maybe e-mail if she allows that. Hugs

[ScarletPimpernel]

Can you add in support from other areas? Like a warm line or a crisis line? They have text, chat, and phone options. I know it's not the same as your T. And I know sometimes these warm lines and crisis lines aren't very good and sometimes don't help. But sometimes they do help. Maybe if you find someone you like, you can request to talk to them? Sometimes they allow that. There's also better help? You might be able to afford that. I don't know if your illness allows you to leave the house. If you can, maybe you can join a support group of some type. Or maybe you can find an online forum group for your illness?

[wotchermuggle]

Maybe go every other or every third day and on the days you don’t talk, write down to her what you would have said and then share that the next time you talk. Contact every day is an awful lot.

[LonesomeTonight]

I'm sorry you're dealing with the health issues and having to reduce contact with your T. Can I ask what sort of daily contact? Phone call, text, email? Just wondering if something like a phone call, if they're currently, say, 15 minutes, could she just do a 5-minute check-in? Or just try every other day? If texts or emails, could they just be something very brief? I agree with trying other resources, too, like here on PC, for example. Did your T have suggestions on how to handle it?

[Lonelyinmyheart]

That is a tough situation to be in Goatee. Others have great suggestions. Personally I find journalling and/ or writing letters to a t when I'm unable to speak to her, i e when she's on a break, quite helpful. Sometimes you just need to offload and although it's not as nice as actually talking to someone, writing stuff down really does help with processing emotion and could ease the pressure until you next have contact with your t. As hard as it must be for you, this could be an opportunity to look at other tools and ways of coping so that you dont feel so financially desperate and also perhaps so emotionally tied to the daily contact. I hope your t may be proactive in helping you manage this knowing how upset you are - she offered the contact, so its partly her responsibility to help you find coping tools given your change in circumstances.

[SlumberKitty]

Maybe try a gofundme page? It might help. Maybe there is a group you could attend that is free or very low cost. Not sure if you are open to it but some Churches have groups for certain things (not sure what all you are dealing with) or you might check your cities home website to see if there are any groups. Depending on what your illness is sometimes there are charities to help with the cost of treatment and stuff like that. They might be able to help. You're always welcome to come here. Lots of people to listen. HUGS Kit

[goatee]

Thanks everyone. I really appreciate your advice. One thing I’m worried about is that we’ll decrease the cost slightly (and thus the contact)- but that what will happen will be that it’s still too huge a burden financially AND now I’ll have less support from T. I’m also scared to change things- that I won’t be able to deal with it, that it’s what’s helping me get through right now and I already barely am, so losing support seems a bad idea. I don’t know. But I really can’t afford it anymore. I don’t know...

[susannahsays]

Well, if you can't afford it, you can't afford it - so it seems like it doesn't matter whether losing the support is a bad idea or not. I get trying to think your way out of this ****** situation, but it doesn't sound like keeping the support at the current level is even an option. Agonizing over what might happen won't make it any easier to cut back. In my personal experience as someone with no money, ruminating on this type of thing won't make it any easier, but harder and more prolonged.

[zoiecat]

You are stronger than you think. Uou can do it. Hugs.