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Elder Harridan x-hankster
Member Since Jun 2011
Location: Milan/Michigan
Posts: 40,106
(SuperPoster!)
12 66.9k hugs
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#1
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LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Writing my way through...
Member Since Feb 2020
Location: In the desert
Posts: 7,340
(SuperPoster!)
4 5,820 hugs
given |
#2
Quote:
I don't know. I've suggested it and he poopoo's it. Maybe I'll just buy some with a long extension thingy like you said and make it a gift 'for the new tv'. It's worth a shot trying it again! I get to feeling so hopeless I just stop thinking altogether or something. |
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SlumberKitty
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Elder Harridan x-hankster
Member Since Jun 2011
Location: Milan/Michigan
Posts: 40,106
(SuperPoster!)
12 66.9k hugs
given |
#3
Quote:
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Lemoncake, SlumberKitty
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Writing my way through...
Member Since Feb 2020
Location: In the desert
Posts: 7,340
(SuperPoster!)
4 5,820 hugs
given |
#4
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unaluna
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unaluna
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Writing my way through...
Member Since Feb 2020
Location: In the desert
Posts: 7,340
(SuperPoster!)
4 5,820 hugs
given |
#5
L, I'm struggling so much with feeling resentful of h that he's been off for like 2 months now, sits at home doing nothing but watching tv all day and late into the night. I'm resentful sometimes because I want some time off too, and also I get frustrated because the noise from the tv during the day makes it hard for me to focus on my work and after I've gone to bed, keeps me from sleeping until he finally turns it off around midnight, and I get up at 5am. I'm fighting inside myself because I have always thought that I am a good person, but if I am resentful of h for staying home for his safety so he doesn't get covid, even though of course I want him to be safe, I don't want him to get sick, I hate that I am resentful, so I feel like that makes me a bad person. I won't even get into the rest of my recent guilt. How do I accept that I am a bad person and just get on with life? This is partly why I haven't called you again yet or the other t I was going to try. Because if I am a bad person, then I don't deserve help. My thoughts have been so out of control lately I'm only now beginning to be able to articulate them.
Possible trigger:
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LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty, unaluna
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Wise Elder
Member Since Nov 2013
Location: US
Posts: 8,428
(SuperPoster!)
10 6,454 hugs
given |
#6
L,
I still didn't find today's session comforting. And I tried to tell you, and you didn't seem to care. It seemed like "Oh, well. Maybe next time". I'm not sure I want to try yet again. I've been trying all week long. __________________ "Odium became your opium..." ~Epica |
ArtieTheSequal, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Elder
Member Since Jan 2010
Location: Where? US
Posts: 5,621
14 101 hugs
given |
#7
I don't care what you say on this. I am not a statistic! I can break out of this hole, and make a better life. Medication does not have to control me. Yet you want a discussion, and I need your support.
I had yet another side effect to a medication. I am done with this class of medication! I will take one tonight, but not for too much longer. I'm done with the effects. I am taking back my life! |
LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 20,894
(SuperPoster!)
9 75.1k hugs
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#8
Dear Ex-MC,
I know I basically baited you. Could you maybe not take the bait? LT |
Mountaindewed, SlumberKitty
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 36,672
(SuperPoster!)
7 8,969 hugs
given |
#9
I kinda freaked out when you said you had 35 other clients. I know your hurting much more then your helping. I just don’t know how to tell you that.
__________________ Ridin' with Biden |
LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Magnate
Member Since Feb 2017
Location: North America
Posts: 2,361
7 4,865 hugs
given |
#10
Dear T,
Thanks for today. That felt nice. It feels good to know that you really had to do some soul-searching when I was so upset with you. It makes me feel like I matter to someone. Of course, now that we had that soul-baring session, I feel close to you and therefore feel lonely for you. I want to email you but I don’t really have anything to say. -c |
Lemoncake, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Writing my way through...
Member Since Feb 2020
Location: In the desert
Posts: 7,340
(SuperPoster!)
4 5,820 hugs
given |
#11
L, I know you're probably pretty busy right now with the rate of depression and anxiety being so high - i just read a statistic that 34 out of 100 american adults show symptoms of anxiety, depression or both - but I hope you're able to find a little time for me when I call. Cuz I need you. I need us. The comfort of us. You said before more than once that you would always be available for me. I hope that still holds true.
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Lemoncake, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Elder
Member Since Jan 2010
Location: Where? US
Posts: 5,621
14 101 hugs
given |
#12
Please don't be a pain about getting off antipsychotic meds.
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Lemoncake, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Magnate
Member Since Feb 2017
Location: North America
Posts: 2,361
7 4,865 hugs
given |
#13
Dear T,
Though... when you said, “do you want to go to bed?” I knew you were asking if I was tired after my shift but I couldn’t help but hear the other possible meaning of that phrase and wonder about where that came from in your unconscious. -c |
Lemoncake, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Wise Elder
Member Since Nov 2013
Location: US
Posts: 8,428
(SuperPoster!)
10 6,454 hugs
given |
#14
L,
Thank you for calling me tonight. It made a world of difference. I really felt known and loved. Please don't ever leave me! You're such a special person. I'm the lucky one to have you. __________________ "Odium became your opium..." ~Epica |
ArtieTheSequal, Lemoncake, LonesomeTonight, MissUdy, SlumberKitty
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Member
Member Since Mar 2020
Location: Wales
Posts: 197
4 269 hugs
given |
#15
I don’t feel very well today my stomach pain is really bad. I know I hate them and they don’t help me but I think I have to see a doctor. but I’m scared.
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ArtieTheSequal, LonesomeTonight, Lostislost, precaryous, SlumberKitty
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Inner Space Traveler
Member Since May 2014
Location: on the wing of an eagle
Posts: 3,880
10 8,141 hugs
given |
#16
Dear T,
When I tell you people don't like me...or I feel like an alien ..and you comment that you just don’t see it...or can’t see why or how that may be so..... ....It feels like you don’t see me. It feels like the time when I was a child and I asked my mother, in tears, “Why does everyone tease me?” And she answered, “Oh, they tease you because they like you!” I knew that wasn’t true and I never trusted her with my big problems ever again. I didn’t feel she was lying..I felt she wasn’t connected to my real life..my real world. I felt she didn’t understand. Later, as adults, I asked her why she replied that way. She said, “What was I supposed to say? They tease you because no one likes you? “ So, she knew all my life that people didn’t like me...that I wasn’t popular. How painful for her to have an awkward daughter like me. DD is beautiful , popular, bubbly. How relieved she must have been....so much different than I was. She loved that little girl. Good things have happened this week...but when I’m left to my thoughts..I am taken back to the realization that people, for the most part, don’t like me. I don’t socialize very well. I don’t get along with people....some of my family have a sarcastic humor. They make people laugh. When I try to use sarcasm or irony..my efforts fall flat. So I’ve mostly stopped trying to joke around. I’m not good at it. Siblings, neighbor kids, school mates, nursing school..marriages...all of my jobs...I failed to understand social cues..professional cues...even misunderstanding how to be polite....having good manners... My grades didn’t make me quit nursing school....my relationships and social failures did. Plus, we discussed how I had performance anxiety in high school and nursing school. I’m 65 years old. Thank god someone finally told me what that was. It would have helped if I had KNOWN back then.....I would have quit trying and failing. I wouldn’t have been hurt so often. Now, looking back, I can see it..I can see my mistakes. And now I’m keeping my world very small. Protected. And then, there’s church. I’m reprimanded for not going to church. ‘Why don’t you go to church??’ You don’t like me but you want me to go to church? You church people wouldn’t like me at church. I’m socially awkward, I’m not attractive. I’m self-conscious and anxious. You don’t even like me now. You’re going to like me more if I go to church? OR, you will just approve of me more if I go to church? YOUR life will make more sense to you with all your boxes checked off?? —-“Well, at least we got Precaryous to go to church. She’s doing what she should be doing. Life makes sense again.” I should go to church for ___, ____, Pastor ___and Pastor ___. Last edited by precaryous; Jun 04, 2020 at 02:09 AM.. |
ArtieTheSequal, ElectricManatee, Lemoncake, LonesomeTonight, MissUdy, SlumberKitty, zoiecat
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Roses are falling.
Member Since May 2017
Location: Seattle.
Posts: 9,784
(SuperPoster!)
7 10.2k hugs
given |
#17
I've introduced a limit for being available for my family to call me. I just sign out of skype and mostly have my phone in aeroplane mode when I don't want to talk. The multiple calls a day were getting a bit much and I was feeling more anxious anticipating them- sometimes I know I really needed that just to feel close to someone, but I don't like it when when they don't talk to me and do X, Y or Z in the background.
Also I know I'm always complaining about school- but I have just one more exam to go and I haven't been feeling very motivated. I do still feel exhausted. I did 2 hours yesterday and 3 the day before. __________________ Last edited by Lemoncake; Jun 04, 2020 at 02:19 AM.. |
ArtieTheSequal, LonesomeTonight, MissUdy, precaryous, ScarletPimpernel, SlumberKitty, unaluna
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329
(SuperPoster!)
5 117.7k hugs
given |
#19
Dear Pastor Ex T, I want to text you and wish you well on your trip but I also don't want to text you. So I compromised and texted your wife. I do wish you well on your trip though. I'm glad you are going to self quarantine for 14 days when you get home. Seems like a bit of work for a 4 day trip but better to be safe than sorry. Kit
__________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA |
ArtieTheSequal, MissUdy, unaluna
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329
(SuperPoster!)
5 117.7k hugs
given |
#20
Dear Former T: Could you p-l-e-a-s-e write me back? Sigh. Kit
__________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA |
ArtieTheSequal, LonesomeTonight, MissUdy, precaryous
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