[Crook32]

How do you get up the courage to tell your T that you are angry at them? I always end up unable to get angry and just say everything is fine.

[~Christina]

Write it down and hand it to her... She can read then you can have a conversation about it.

[ScarletPimpernel]

I don't think I've ever said the words outloud, but I have emailed L. She has brought it up in session that I felt angry with her, to which I usually reply that I don't want to be. I think I might have said it on the phone? I'm not sure.

[Lonelyinmyheart]

I've never been able to say it but usually the T has picked up that I am and asked me about it. I think writing it down could be a good option.

[nottrustin]

With T I was never able to. I know she would have handled it fine, I just couldn't. With EMDR T one I wrote it down and gave It to her to read and then we discussed it. The other time She asked me a question hat only be honestly be answered by telling her I was upset. So I was quiet for a few minutes and then blurred it out.

[zoiecat]

I have been angry woth my T multiple times. I usually tell him in writing or within the next two sessions but I am beginning to be able to tell him the same day. He is always fine with it and says people are always going to be angry with others at some point. Some of it he readily accepts because he knows he is pushing me where I don't want to go and he is always fine with that too.

This last time he struck a raw nerve and I think this will be the end. He will be getting a long letter on Monday the day before my next session. I am waiting to calm down a bit and get my head on straight so I don't say something I don't mean and I think I will be ending it all on Tuesday.

I've learned that anger sometimes brings out the true feelings of those that usually try to mask the truth.

[Omers]

I emailed T angry/triggered once. He handled it so very appropriately I would be much more likely to say it directly to him next time.

[velcro003]

I've never really been angry at my T, but she has opened it up as a possibility a few times, and seems like she would be receptive and non-defensive if I was angry at her.

[kaleidoscopeheart]

I started out emailing it, then I would write it and give it to him in session, now I usually just tell him when he pisses me off.

[SlumberKitty]

I've never been able to say it. I wasn't really ever mad at Former T (maybe she wasn't pushing me enough). With Pastor T, he makes me mad, but I also know he's sensitive to rejection and abandonment, and I know he's talked before about how people have come into his office as either a client or a parishioner and given him the riot act and how it has negatively affected him. I don't think I could tell him that I am mad at him even though I am sometimes. With Regular T, I've never really been mad at her that I can think of. Sometimes I am frustrated with her but I don't tell her that either. I tend to be non-confrontational and not direct so I doubt I would ever say it to T. If anything I would just talk about it here on PC. HUGS Kit

[Amandae8787]

I would probably email. I’m terrible at handling conflicts IRL.

[PurpleBlur]

i tell her i hate her. or i bite her lightly...threaten to pour water on her head... im terrible but very obvious

[Blueberry21]

Originally Posted by PurpleBlur

i tell her i hate her. or i bite her lightly...threaten to pour water on her head... im terrible but very obvious

Wait, what? I assume you don’t actually bite your T...????

[Blueberry21]

I’ve written it in an email that I thought about and agonized over for several days. I’m a writer who easily falls too far down the editing hole, so this ended up taking A LOT of time.

I have also told him directly that I felt angry, without emailing it first. In that context, we discussed it as “transference.” I think it partly was transference, and partly real. Some T’s are quick to jump to transference as an explanation - possibly as a defense.