[Omers]

T is struggling to understand my self image, why I do not look at myself and why I find affirmations triggering. To be fair to T I suck at words especially when that close to something that triggering and frightening.
I have some ideas for artistic expression of my self image but I am worried they are too graphic. I know it is not my job to take care of T and that he has his own means of self care. My original idea was to modify a doll to fit my self image but it would be very graphic and disturbing to “normal” people and it would be hard on T... he isn’t exactly the type to watch horror movies and zombie flicks. So I am wondering if it would be less traumatic for someone to see if it was one dimensional and not in a human form... using a rectangle or something.
Has anyone done something like this? Thoughts? T and I have used similar techniques to represent other (positive) people in my life so it wouldn’t be completely out of left field.

when I was asked to draw myself, to demonstrate my self-image, the only thing I could think to do was draw my accessories. I know that sounds weird that I couldn't draw myself and how I look. I couldn't think of how to show the color of my skin and the shape of my body. it was difficult for me to view myself and compare myself to others and how I am different or how I am the same. I am not sure this is the response you are looking for but another way to work on self-image is by choosing pictures from magazines and pasting them together. that way is much easier than drawing if you are not an artist and the images are already censored so you do not need to worry about triggering anyone.

[Omers]

I am an artist but don’t really identify with the image I see in the mirror and don’t draw well from my imagination. So yes, there is a lot of similarity. What I am worried about with T is that my self image is also very different from how I carry myself in public. He sees me as a bit more reserved and submissive than my usual public persona but it still isn’t close to how I see me and I think he will find that really upsetting.

[Salmon77]

I think you should do it the way you want to do it, and then after it's done you can decide whether you want to share it with your T or not.

Why do you feel like you have to protect your T like this? Or are you worried he'll think badly of you somehow if he sees it?

[Omers]

The image I have in mind is pretty graphic in general long before you put it on a human form. T is very sensitive to that kind of thing in general and then for me to identify as that image as opposed to what he sees would be very painful for him. He would not react poorly at all or think badly of me. I just know that inside it would rip him up. Yes, there is a degree of protectiveness towards him, towards anyone... IMO there is a limit to what we can openly express with anyone without doing harm. Even for a therapist I believe this may be beyond what would be reasonable... even for the T’s I didn’t like/care about.

[blackocean]

You should show T the most accurate thing. you don’t need to protect him. if he is affected by it he can talk to his own therapist about that..

[velcro003]

Originally Posted by blackocean

You should show T the most accurate thing. you don’t need to protect him. if he is affected by it he can talk to his own therapist about that..

I agree with this.

[LonesomeTonight]

Originally Posted by blackocean

You should show T the most accurate thing. you don’t need to protect him. if he is affected by it he can talk to his own therapist about that..

I also agree with this. I tend to have a desire to sort of "protect" and take care of my T as well. I gave him a rather graphic typed description of some thoughts I've had the other day and even included a "Warning: Graphic Content" in bold just before that part. T seemed amused by the fact that I included that. But he was able to handle it.