[LizzieVale]

This is the first time in two or so years that i have posted anything. My problem among everything else is that I have been seeing my therapist for 4 or so years now.

I think he is actually doing me more harm than good. He dosent take me seriously, he dismisses or cuts me off mid sentence not allowing me to express my concerns. I dont know, maybe im expecting too much of him? All i know is that i have this gut instinct that he isn't caring or empathetic . Not once, or at least since I can remember have I ever left his rooms and gained any insight or learned how to deal with my problems.

Whenever I say something and he doesnt know what to say he changes the subject and asks me something totally unrelated to what to say. I could be in the middle of explain something which i feel is important, what he does is discuss the weather, or just say something downright stupid.

Honestly i feel like im banging my head a against a brick wall and if anything I think he actually makes me feel worse. Its as though he has pigeon holed me in the too hard basket. In just wondering is anyone else has felt this way and if so how do you move and find another therapist.

Hows this for an arrogant self centered prick. One time i happened to come across a medical site where people can write a review regarding any doctor. I remember this one time we were looking something up on his computer and i said try this site. He was surprised and wasn't aware of this site.

That was back in approx August last year. He had no reviews back then, Now all of a sudden he has something like 12 reviews posted. Most of them glowing and then of course there are a few reviews which are not so positive.ones to make it seem genuine. The site is called RateMDs

Let me post a few reviews and please let me know if these reviews sound legit.

Dr Xis the best psychiatrist I have met so far. He very competent and a great listener he works with me to solve problems resulting from my bipolar disorder. He has also helped me cope with a certain govt dept. He is a really nice person and always very positive and caring

Another one....
The reason I think Dr X is an excellent psychiatrist is because he is humanistic in his approach, he does not label you in the first session, he is thorough and very comprehensive in his assessment/s. He does not load you with medication and takes a very conservative approach when prescribing drugs. I found him open to debatable discourse and at times we agreed to disagree and i appreciated his broad knowledge base.

Humanistic?
How common is that word?
That's shrink lingo not patient lingo.
Please correct me if im wrong .

This is the meaning of the word Humanistic
The humanistic approach in psychology developed as a rebellion against what some psychologists saw as the limitations of the behaviorist and psycho dynamic psychology. The humanistic approach is thus often called the “third force” in psychology after psychoanalysis and behaviorism (Maslow, 1968).

Another one....
Dr X restored my faith in psychiatrists. After some very negative experiences with some very under developed banal psychiatrist, it was a life changing experience to finally be treated with respect and understanding by a highly knowledgeable, insightful psychiatrist. He was always available and supportive. I would have no hesitation in recommending him for anyone who is genuinely suffering any form of mental or emotional distress.

And another
Dr X is one of the few psychiatrist i believe is genuine and not giving a government dept only what they want to hear. He puts all those guns for hire to shame. He is a person of high integrity and gives a balanced view and report.

Anyway i think you get the general idea.,

Am i correct in assuming that he wrote them himself?

[Lemoncake]

4 years is a long time to figure out that that you're not working out. You don't owe him anything. You can just send him a quick email informing him, you won't be coming back and not turn up to your next session.

[LizzieVale]

Originally Posted by Lemoncake

4 years is a long time to figure out that that you're not working out. You don't owe him anything. You can just send him a quick email informing him, you won't be coming back and not turn up to your next session.

I know. I kept thinking that he might have come good or something. Plus I needed to have a shrink so that i passed all the govt red tape.

Asked my GP regarding this matter of me not being happy with him and I dont what its like else where but in Australia the demand for therapists is high. Not enough therapists to go round.

I have no choice but to see this twat until i find another therapist. We are talking years....

I always knew he was hopless, but the other day i realized just how much he cares which is zilch zero and nothing. I so angry. I NEED URGENT HELP but no one seems interested in helping. The medical profession has caused me more problems than i had to begin with....

[Anne2.0]

I'm not sure why the reviews are the issue, as opposed to what you truly know, that this person is not helping you and it sounds like you want to leave.

I think people have very different experiences with different therapists, and just because other people have benefitted from him, doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you. It sounds like you want to quit and it seems that is the next right step, if I'm reading you correctly. It sounds like a hideous experience.

[LonesomeTonight]

I'm sorry you're having such an unhelpful experience. I know you said it will take a long time, but could you start the process of finding a new therapist? In the meantime, have you talked to him about how it feels when he cuts you off or changes the subject? My T has done the subject-changing thing at times early on in seeing him, and I finally talked to him about it. He said to just tell him that I still want to talk about the other topic, and even once said that, if he is going on about something that I don't find to be relevant (he can be a talker), to just tell him to shut up. I haven't used those exact words of course, but I'm much more likely to let him know if he's going down an unhelpful path or if I want to return to a particular topic. If you don't feel you can say this out loud to him, maybe type it up and hand it to him at the start of session?

[LizzieVale]

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

I'm sorry you're having such an unhelpful experience. I know you said it will take a long time, but could you start the process of finding a new therapist? In the meantime, have you talked to him about how it feels when he cuts you off or changes the subject? My T has done the subject-changing thing at times early on in seeing him, and I finally talked to him about it. He said to just tell him that I still want to talk about the other topic, and even once said that, if he is going on about something that I don't find to be relevant (he can be a talker), to just tell him to shut up. I haven't used those exact words of course, but I'm much more likely to let him know if he's going down an unhelpful path or if I want to return to a particular topic. If you don't feel you can say this out loud to him, maybe type it up and hand it to him at the start of session?

I have decided that I need to see someone else but of course still seeing until I find someone. It's not exactly what he says or does, its just him. I dont like him as a person. He is inconsistent and he doesn't even remember what we spoke about during our last session. He seems more interested in Googling stuff on his computer because it means he does't have to work as in focus all his attention to his client/patient.

He is overtly cheery and chipper. I mean I don't expect him to be stern and serious. I want a person who can challenge my thoughts. Help me understand and teach me coping mechanisms rather than pat me on the head and tell me what wonderful person I am and make sure you pay your 55 bucks as you leave.

Lately I have had him read some of my thoughts and feelings so that he can gain an insight on how traumatized I really am. He reads what I've written and looks astonished "What did you write this?" he says. He insults my intelligence. Does he think that because I have issues (Borderline, Complex PTD, Depression, Anxiety etc) that I am unable to string two words to form sentence.

He actually talks about his other patients behind their back. He judges "oh but they don't have any "CLASS". I remember I had a friend take me to see him a few times. My friend waited in the waiting room.

He referred to my friend as "that person" but it was the way he said it. Ok my friend is a little quirky and wears his hair long, so because he looks different than what he thinks a person of CLASS should look he looks down on him. I believe that people are equal. Anyway there are so many things that i dont like about him. I will call a few phone numbers that my GP suggested that I call. Thank you for your input and for listening xx

[sarahsweets]

I understand that you know you need to see someone else but personally I wouldnt go in for one more session based on what you describe.

[LizzieVale]

An update regarding my hopeless shrink. I'm still seeing him. I have cut our visits down to once monthly rater than seeing him fortnightly.
The only reason I am still seeing him is because he dispenses my medications. That is one and only reason that I am seeing him.

I have not made any headway and I still do not like him.

I am not making excuses in blaming him because I'm not any better after seeing him for 5 years. I WANT AND NEED DESPERATE HELP!!!!

He really does trigger unpleasant and painful memories. I think he has created more problems for me because his lack of understanding, empathy. I need a therapist who will challenge me, work with me. Something anything , a breakthrough moment that will make me realize that I am not a bad person. I need a therapist who will make me face things that may be unpleasant but ultimately will help me in the long run.

I dont know if anyone understands what i am talking about?

Since my last post I have actually gotten worse. He makes me feel like I am an illness, a nasty, pesky illness who is untreatable and a waste of time.

So in turn I have unwittingly hardwired my brain to act, think and do things that a typical stereotype would do

He has broken my spirit in trying to get better because he teaches me nothing. I walk away from his office feeling like a child who has been patted on the head, out i go, pay to pay my $60 bucks and see you next time.

I am expecting too much from him ?

He makes me second guess if my thoughts are rational because he gives me nothing to indicate if what im saying is true or something that a borderline would say, act, think and feel

My GP is more caring than my shrink. He makes me feel that my thoughts, my feelings do matter. He doesn't make me feel broken or judged and he listens to me, he is kind.

I am a person just like everyone else but my shrink makes me feel even less than nothing

[LizzieVale]

ps

I need someone to ease my feelings, not make them worse

He makes me feel like a prisoner in my own mind.... as though I am slowly going insane....

Can anyone resonate with what i am saying ?

[Rive.]

If he is not helping you and is making you feel worse, I don't understand why you don't simply leave. You don't owe him any explanation. Then search for other therapists in your area.

As for the reviews, it is mere speculation, they may be fake or not.. I don't really see where or why that matters.

All it comes down to: you have no obligation to keep seeing him. IF you want to leave, just leave.

[precaryous]

Perhaps your GP can dispense your medications until you find someone who is a better fit.

[AllHeart]

Have GP prescribe meds.
Dump the jerk.
Leave negative reviews.

[Fuzzybear]

Dump him and leave negative reviews.

[LizzieVale]

Thank you all for your replies.

Today I have had my first appointment with a Counsellor/Psychotherapist.
See below for her qualifications

Marina has knowledge and experience in a variety of work settings including leadership roles, mental health, crisis intervention, abuse, grief, loss & trauma, relationships, and addiction rehabilitation and recovery. She is a qualified and professionally recognised forensic mental health specialist. Through her own journey and life experience Marina is compassionate, empathetic and non-judgmental and is able to relate and understand the issues faced by individuals today.
Marina focuses on bringing hope to those suffering and helping individuals rebuild their lives and live a rich and meaningful life. Marina has worked with individuals and families of all ages and backgrounds, in one on one, couples, and group settings, working with abuse, addictions, mental health illnesses, family of origin, anxiety & stress, trauma, grief & loss, shame, self-esteem and life-transitions.

QUALIFICATIONS AND TRAINING
Master of Social Work from Flinders University
Master of Counselling Practice from Tabor College
Master of Forensic Mental Health from Griffith University
Graduate Diploma of Psychology from Charles Sturt University
Bachelor of Criminology and Criminal Justice from Griffith University
Diploma of Alcohol and Other Drugs
Endorsed and Accredited Prepare/Enrich Facilitator
PROFESSIONAL MEMBERSHIPS
PACFA Reg. Clinical Mental Health Practitioner 23699
Association for Contexual Behavioural Science
National Alliance on Mental Illness
Australian and New Zealand Society of Criminology
Australian and New Zealand Mental Health Association
Australian Association of Social Work 469628

I will be seeing her once a week to start with and then reassess how things are going. She has also given me a website of how to find a new psychiatrist. I go to the website and do a search and hopefully come up with someone who specialises in my particular areas of difficulty.

The I register my interest and get a referral from my GP. And take it from there.

I hope that im able to be helped

Anyway its a start and my head is just trying to absorb this information...

Will post more once i know more.... ty

[corgidogs]

You need to find someone you can relate to.....as you said, you have to keep seeing this one in order to get medication - but find someone urgently who you can relate to and talk to with a good feeling - even if you see a few different ones.....wish there was an "interview" process xxx

[Twilight1227]

I am sorry your going through this, My Doctor is completely incompetent and does not listen to me, I feel for you, Try to find another doctor that is what I am going to do