Transitional objects

MobiusPsyche · Feb 10, 2020 at 05:30 PM

My T gave me a stone that is shaped like a heart and says "hope" on it. She also recorded some meditations for me to listen to. These have been helpful to me, especially the meditations so I can hear her voice in between sessions. I think they intensified the attachment, which some may view as a bad thing. It also soothed the attachment for me, which was quite intense and desperate at the time she gave me the first set of recordings. Overall, it was a positive experience.

comrademoomoo · Feb 11, 2020 at 07:05 AM

We went through a period where she would regularly offer me objects and I would say no. When I reflect on it now, it was a playing out of her pull to comfort me (she often describes this) and my push away of anything comforting. I remember saying to her once, "I don't want any of your stuff at my house" with a sneer on my face. Pretty ****** of me really, no surprise there.

Lrad123 · Feb 11, 2020 at 10:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by comrademoomoo

We went through a period where she would regularly offer me objects and I would say no. When I reflect on it now, it was a playing out of her pull to comfort me (she often describes this) and my push away of anything comforting. I remember saying to her once, "I don't want any of your stuff at my house" with a sneer on my face. Pretty ****** of me really, no surprise there.

Interesting as I can totally relate to that dynamic, not with transitional objects but with other gestures of kindness or comfort from my T. I only just noticed it recently and it’s hard to stop.

Feb 11, 2020 at 02:51 PM

I have several transitional objects that my T has given me. I can relate to your feelings that him taking the time to think of something to give you would be helpful. The first time my T gave me one, I felt exactly that. I was also conscious that she was kind of sticking her neck out, I’d only known her a few weeks and I could have told her it was ridiculous and not to patronise me. I’m doing relational work with my T, she’s person centred, but has her own style, she’s also experienced in working with trauma.

susannahsays · Feb 11, 2020 at 04:17 PM

I have an object. The therapist I see is a psychodynamic therapist.

nottrustin · Feb 12, 2020 at 09:31 AM

I have never had a vice me something and say it was a transitional object. I didnt need it with T because if I needed to connect I could just email her. She did give me many things over the years which I suppose in a way might have been used as a transitional object. Some of those items are around my house (a vase that came with flowers she picked from her yard).

Emdr T has not but I have considered asking if she has ever considered doing a guided meditation for clients. Since she doesnt do email and I try to avoid texting maybe it could help after very intense sessions.

Elio · Feb 12, 2020 at 09:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kaleidoscopeheart

I went on a trip out of the country last year and ended up just asking for something. The result was a list that T and I worked on in session and he wrote that included things I needed to remember when I was away. I carried it in my wallet and looked at it frequently. It definitely helped having that piece of paper to hold on to.

The first trip I took by myself after starting therapy, I had T write on a puzzle piece "if lost, return to..." her office address. I kept it in my backpack. Oddly enough before I left off on my own, my wife left my backpack at a restaurant. They called T's number because I also had T's business card in the same pocket. Slightly embarrassing to go back and get the bag after knowing all that. At the same time, it kind of has a warm feeling too.

*for those that don't know, T and I put together jigsaw puzzles from time to time, this piece was from one of them.

There's been different times where I've taken other pieces with different things written on them. One time she took a piece with her.

Omers · Feb 12, 2020 at 09:53 PM

Thanks Elio, I really like that idea!!!

kecanoe · Feb 13, 2020 at 07:54 PM

I have a teddy bear that T bought for me. He has also given me other small objects to take places where I don't want to take my teddy bear.

susannahsays · Feb 13, 2020 at 08:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by susannahsays

I have an object. The therapist I see is a psychodynamic therapist.

I forgot to mention that I did not ask for it and she did not use the term "transitional object" when she gave it to me. However, she specifically said its purpose is to orient me to the present by reminding me about how I have been coming to see her and she was not a part of my life in the past - so that seems like a transitional object to me. For more context, she gave it to me when we had been talking about how I sometimes wake up after having nightmares and have trouble orienting myself to time and place. She gave me a small object from her bowl of fiddle objects that I can hold in my hand so if I'm having trouble with that and I wake up, I'll feel it, recognize what it is and where it came from, and not think I'm back in the past. It has helped. My little chi works best - the feel of him against me is better than any transitional object, but sometimes I wake up because he gets up during the night to take a leak. Or in the summer, it's too hot for him to want to curl up against me.

junkDNA · Feb 21, 2020 at 04:29 AM

I received a stuffed animal in 2011 from my therapist . I kept it and slept with it until 2017. I gave it back to my T then, and T has it now. It was definitely helpful for my separation anxiety and distress tolerance/feeling safe. T even stitched it up for me once, gently hand sewing its antler back on

LabRat27 · Feb 22, 2020 at 05:38 AM

When he was going away for a month and asked me what I needed I finally worked up the courage to ask him for "something that is a physical thing that I can see and touch that connects me to this moment/being here, even when it's past. Something that will make this moment feel real."

He gave me a werthers original from the bowl on his desk. I don't recommend that, the gold shimmery stuff on the wrapper comes off and it's not waterproof and it gets gross if you keep it in your purse too long.

He offered me a note or a voicemail, but I didn't want anything with words because I can twist them after the fact and interpret them differently. They'll always be not the right words, I'll be comparing them to whatever words weren't said or find some other way to ruin them for myself.

Ifeelstupid · Feb 22, 2020 at 11:17 AM

All three of my T’s have let me record my sessions. Some I never listen to while others I will listen to repeatedly. They get me through the hard weeks. They got me through the grief when my first T passed away. And when I started seeing my second T, I could play some of the final sessions I recorded with my prior T. During that final year, as his cancer became worse, he at times became verbally abusive. To have my current T listen and visibly flinch over what he heard, was the most comforting and healing thing during an extremely difficult time.

Sure there is always the risk that someone else will listen to them but I guard them carefully. And the benefit far outweighs the risk.

just2b · Feb 25, 2020 at 04:22 AM

She gave me: A blanket. A seashell. And i have randomly taken things, a colored pen, a postcard, and a red stress ball. Next i will take a small rock.

vultureculture · Feb 27, 2020 at 11:25 AM

Really intense trauma therapy for survivors might give out stress ball or play dough. I think it might help if your voiceless mainly though it is to advance the therapeutic experience so try and bask in its helpfulness

Menu

My Support Forums - Mental Health Support Groups

Get emotional support and friendship from others like you!

Our community offers: No spam. No trolls. No social media connections.

Transitional objects

My Support Forums

susannahsays Grand Magnate Member Since Jun 2018 Location: Somewhere Posts: 3,355 6 1 hugs given	Feb 11, 2020 at 04:17 PM #25 I have an object. The therapist I see is a psychodynamic therapist. __________________ Life is hard. Then you die. Then they throw dirt in your face. -David Gerrold
	Reply With Quote

Omers Grand Magnate Member Since Nov 2010 Location: Crimson cattery Posts: 3,512 14 3,133 hugs given	Feb 12, 2020 at 09:53 PM #28 Thanks Elio, I really like that idea!!! __________________ There’s been many a crooked path that has landed me here Tired, broken and wearing rags Wild eyed with fear -Blackmoores Night
	Reply With Quote

kecanoe Grand Magnate Member Since Aug 2008 Location: Illinois, USA Posts: 3,052 16 7,192 hugs given	Feb 13, 2020 at 07:54 PM #29 I have a teddy bear that T bought for me. He has also given me other small objects to take places where I don't want to take my teddy bear.
	Reply With Quote

junkDNA Comfy Sedation Member Since Sep 2012 Location: the woods Posts: 19,305 (SuperPoster!) 12 8,152 hugs given	Feb 21, 2020 at 04:29 AM #31 I received a stuffed animal in 2011 from my therapist . I kept it and slept with it until 2017. I gave it back to my T then, and T has it now. It was definitely helpful for my separation anxiety and distress tolerance/feeling safe. T even stitched it up for me once, gently hand sewing its antler back on __________________
	Reply With Quote

just2b Veteran Member Member Since Nov 2009 Location: SpACE Posts: 597 14 141 hugs given	Feb 25, 2020 at 04:22 AM #34 She gave me: A blanket. A seashell. And i have randomly taken things, a colored pen, a postcard, and a red stress ball. Next i will take a small rock.
	Reply With Quote

vultureculture Account Suspended Member Since Oct 2019 Location: Philadelphia Posts: 144 5	Feb 27, 2020 at 11:25 AM #35 Really intense trauma therapy for survivors might give out stress ball or play dough. I think it might help if your voiceless mainly though it is to advance the therapeutic experience so try and bask in its helpfulness
	Reply With Quote