Though I plan to take my psychiatrist up on the therapist she recommended, I still tried to dip my toes in seeking out a therapist.
I've only done emails, and attempted phone consultations.

The first was okay, kind of acting in the bare minimum and when I asked if a phone consultation would be helpful, she shot it down even though she offered it on her site.

The second was really helpful said even if she wasn't the right fit. During the consultation though, I got that though she was trained in EMDR it's not a tool she's eager to use, but one she's willing to if she believes the client is a good fit for it. This bummed me out at first, but at least she's wasn't just telling me yes to everything she thought I'd want to hear. I'

The interaction with my third one left me almost feeling rejected.

I scheduled a phone consultation per their site booking tool and sent a brief email about the questions I had. But when I didn't receive the call at the specified time, I called, then left a message when I got their voicemail. They returned the call 15min later, said that they'd were just now skimming the email and rushed into the fact that though their site FAQ states they provide evening appts that they no longer have any spots at the time, then rushed on to them being out of network, and that was pretty much it after try to push myself self to do something that gives me so much anxiety

After that, I felt like encountering this all in person would have been an even bigger blow since I struggled in person out of all the ways I communicated with my last therapist and I'm still trying to figure out what a good fit would feel like or being safe means.
I had to really push myself to reach out and now feel discouraged and let down after just these few. I even thought about contacting my last therapist, but realized I don't even have a direct way to reach her anymore since her phone is maintained by her assistant.

So, what do you do when you reach out to new therapists but still feel like you can't be helped? Or fear the feeling of rejection taking a bigger toll on you than you can handle at the moment?

[Yaowen]

So sorry all of this is happening to you. Wish I had some good advice but sadly I can't think of anything.

I've personally been helped by self-help books but I realize that what helps one person might not work for others or might make them feel even worse.

I sure hope you find answers to the questions you asked from members with good ideas. You do not deserve to be suffering like this! -- Yaowen

[Omers]

That sucks.
I spent a lot of time searching on the American Psychological Association therapist locator, aamft therapist locator, and several others that I found. Then I checked out the web pages of those that looked OK and had a web page.
Reaching out is extremely hard for me and phone tag is excruciating. 1T sounded good on the phone but then I told her I thought I would enjoy working with her (manners?)... she snapped at me with “you aren’t always going to like what I have to say!” ... well! If you can’t take someone being positive we are done! Several didn’t return my call (what is with that???). Pdoc couldn’t think of anyone she thought would be a good fit for me (!!! YIKES). I couldn’t call any more so I emailed my current T. He replied a day or so later asking when might a good time be to call... *sigh*... phone tag. I was a mess, then got called into work when I said I would be available... more phone tag... then T sucks on the phone! OMG felt like I was calling to get the oil changed in my car not any kind of doctor much less a T!
So, like you I HATE the calling around part. I was in too much pain to give up though.
I did limit myself to one call per day and then did something fun or gave myself time for a nap after I called.

It can be so hard to find the right therapist, I contacted over a dozen before I found the one I’m seeing now. I also got quite discouraged along the way. Have you definitely decided against the second one you tried? My current T is also trained in EMDR, and is also hesitant to use it unless it’s right for the person. I think the caution is good. I’ve been seeing her for over a year. I’m having really good therapy with her, we haven’t used EMDR yet, but I’d like to one day.

[Omers]

My T got trained in EMDR I think in part because of me. We tried using it but have run into problems. I am glad it is a resource he has available for me. I think any T should have a lot of tools and I think it would be good for them not to be set on what to use before meeting the client.

Originally Posted by Ocean breeze

It can be so hard to find the right therapist, I contacted over a dozen before I found the one I’m seeing now. I also got quite discouraged along the way. Have you definitely decided against the second one you tried? My current T is also trained in EMDR, and is also hesitant to use it unless it’s right for the person. I think the caution is good. I’ve been seeing her for over a year. I’m having really good therapy with her, we haven’t used EMDR yet, but I’d like to one day.

No, I haven't decided against the second one I tried. I think I'll meet her in person to get a better feeling.

I was just trying to have maybe one or two other therapists I'd like to see in person, that way I can kind of compare and go from there.
I think I'll do one session with each therapist, and then choose after having met them all.
I also considered doing a test run like 3-4 sessions and then checking-in whether I'd want to stay or try the next. But I know if they weren't 100% wrong, I'd automatically choose to stay. Unsure if it was just my general distrust or whatever.

I struggled with my last therapist though she didn't feel wrong, and I think it was more that she grew into what felt like a fit, like she was adjustable. But feel like I never had much to compare it too, just the one therapist before and compared to her she felt like a much better. But I couldn't be sure that she was the best fit. She'd reassure me when I ask, but I think she was more concerned about me feeling rejected.