[shame]

what do you do when everything triggers???
even loved ones ..
objects ..
everything ..
cant constantly sleep ..
no T till Jan11
no where to run to .. no where to hide..

[Kiya]

=( i know it is trite, but keep breathing.
keep posting.
the one i am working on is "i can feel safe". that is my mantra. i can feel safe.
kiya

[(JD)]

(((free))) When everything feels like a trigger, that is the best time to withdraw for a bit. Find some things that normally "comfort" you and surround yourself with them and block out the rest of the world. As to how long you can do this, is up to your lifestyle, plus how long you feel you need to do this might be much shorter than you would suspect.

We all need to pull back from time to time. Moderation is key.

Do find a place where you feel best, and do tell yourself, as kiya says, to tell yourself "I am safe."

Breathing is important, as humans tend to hold their breath when stressed, and that can add to ill feelings.
Then, mindfulness helps: where are you right now, what are you doing right now; focus on one thing at a time and block out all unwanted thoughts.

Hang in there, you can do this!

[shame]

thanks for your replies ..
if i pull back any further it would isolation for me .. scared of that.. i cannot afford depression .. gets so black i cant see.
been there.. too many times. what started this was on christmas day .just getting more and more triggered..cant avoid them.
i agrr breathing and mindfulness helps however when i am as triggered as i am too many time i cant think of anything..
i lose time - dont remeber saying things etc..

[ECHOES]

I'm sorry you're having a hard time.

I agree with some quiet time which we all need. Surround yourself with things you love: foods, movies, books, music, creative activites, jigsaw puzzles, crossword puzzles.. take a day or two for you as if you're on a luxurious vacation.

Do you want to talk more about the triggers and what happened on Christmas?

Or it might help to write about it, put it on paper as a place to store it so it doesn't have to remain in your mind to disrupt you right now.

[shame]

i am not sure what happened on Chritmas day = the night before i was excited about going to a dinner at my musbands aunts home - to exchange gifts - had candles music - wrapping - was basically excited!
However when i woke up on Christmas day - i was in tears - soulnt look at anyone - had no strength - so i went to bed.. everyone here was a liltte upset because i wasnt going to go - but they went anyway and let me sleep..
after they left my dog made me get up to take her out .. and i tried to regroup .. took a shower etc..but waves of tears..finally about 4pm the tears stopped and around 5 they come back home to open a few more gifts... it began all over again ..the tears etc.. couldnt look or talk on the phone without tears .. had some anger too .. totally opposite of what i was feeling just the days before.. no real reason for any of that to happen.. just did .. and since then been sensitive to everything around me ..no tears ..just gut hurt feelings. TV triggers me .. scres me inside on what they watch ..short with everyone although i am aware of trying to feel better ..everything is heavy in my head .. cant be around too many ppl ..just have to hide away in my head to keep safe.

[Perna]

I read "good" books when that is a problem. The books trigger but they also have characters like T's and problems like mine (emotionally/spiritually) and can soothe me when they soothe their character and I can identify and follow along their "track" which is a known/all-will-be-well-in-the-end one.

[ECHOES]

(( Free1 ))

Something you thought about between the excitement you felt on Christmas eve and waking up the next morning really frightened you. I hope it will come to you. I've also had days like that and I can't for the life of me figure out what happened or is happening.

Sometimes though, a though will float through my mind and I'll feel calmer right then, and I know that the thought was very important. Sometimes it's so quick I have to write it down to hang onto it, so I do that to think about it later when I'm feeling better.

Sometimes too I've "invited" the thought to come, hoping that whatever it is that is there will come so I can feel better. I think it helps because then I'm more open to it, my mind is more relaxed, and the thought can surface easier.

I'm so sorry you were feeling so distraught. Are you feeling better now?

[shame]

yea i crashed huge that day .. maybe it will come to me why ..later.. just hasnt happened yet.

i am ok .. just have to limit myself to who i am around and get off to myself. Being the holiday my husband is in front of the tv constantly watching horrible things so it is then - like now i get on the pc. to try to ignore it.. sometimes if it gets real bad i ask him to tur it off and he gets angry - so i can do nothing .. but escape emotionally. and take my pill when i need it. (klonopin)

Just having waves of high and low feelings and riding them out.

[ECHOES]

It's so good that you're taking good care of yourself right now. It can be hard to know what you need, to let yourself just 'be'.

I can't watch horrible things on TV either. I'm sorry your husband doesn't understand so he can be more considerate about that.

You said earlier 'no T until Jan 11' Can you call T? Or write to T? Today I wrote in my journal which is actually a "Dear T" journal and it was calming to just sit and write whatever came to my mind. I find I can write easier than I can speak, whether face-to-face or on the phone. T also suggested it as a something to do during our 2 week break, so maybe that helped make it calming too.

Do you have a good book that has a plot and characters you could 'escape' to? I know it can be hard to focus or concentrate during emotionally difficult times, but it might be something helpful.

Riding the high and low waves is very tiring. Give yourself lots of rest too.

[shame]

I have no contact with her until the 11th .
email no phone etc..
yea everytime i try to write physically myy husband finds and reads everything - no privacy ... all stays in my head. and sometimes here.
resting on and off today .. still triggering .