[emmaleemochizuki]

Anyone have experience opening up to T about sexual abuse?

How did you talk about it? How did your T react?

[susannahsays]

The one I see is obsessed with abuse. I guess I just stopped rebuffing her completely when she would start talking about it. I didn't really have to take the initiative.

[SlumberKitty]

I'm pretty sure all my T's asked about past abuse (all kinds) in the intake. My Pastor T keeps talking to me about abuse because he thinks I have been abused more than I am telling him, but I'm not. He keeps trying to see if there is SA or something because he says I dissociate a lot and stuff. You might try writing it down and handing it to the T at the beginning of the session. Or you might say there's something that I want to talk about but I don't know how to. Then let the therapist prompt you. The abuse I have told my T's about, I've always gotten very positive, encouraging, supportive reactions. They are T's they have probably heard it all in their line of work. If you do decide to talk about it you might want to plan on having something safe and comforting to do afterwards, like after the session. I've found it to be quite draining personally.

In the UK, it is highly unlikely that you would be specifically asked about your experiences of sexual abuse at an initial appointment. Nor would an (ethical) therapist run/push their agenda about your experiences of sexual abuse.

My therapist is gentle about childhood sexual abuse and responds angrily about my experiences in adulthood. She's not typical though and her emotional reactions are very present in my therapy, not always helpfully.

I have found art forms useful to use in the session when the subject matter is very charged for me. Writing, poetry, sculpture, images, I take the lead with what I take.

[nottrustin]

I had been working with long term T for a few years. I never intended to tell her but then I realized in order for my therapy to progress I needed to tell her. I kept thinking I would tell her but then chickened out. Finally one day with without planning to I just blurted it out. We only discussed it a bit that day because that was all I could handle. She was amazingly compassionate and caring

With current T I contacted her through email about seeing her for EMDR and gave her the very brief this is what I am dealing with for EMDR. She has been nothing but compassionate and gentle.

Both Ts always allow me to decide when and how much I want to talk. When I say I need to change the subject, we do with noe pushing and prodding

[ArtleyWilkins]

It was almost the first thing I told me therapists about myself because the sexual abuse was the inciting event for my issues with depression, anxiety, communication, etc. There was no possible way for me to engage in therapy without that information being out on the table from the very beginning. I found my therapists responded generally quite well. They ones that didn't, I stopped seeing immediately. I didn't have the time or money to waste on them.

(What qualified as not responding well you might ask? The therapist responding with pity, or the therapist responding by too much self disclosure under the guise of empathy. HUGE red flags for me. I needed therapists who believed in my strength, who didn't pity me or try to "relate" to me as if they totally "got" what I had experienced. I needed therapists who simply acknowledged, validated, listened, and supported without question and without treating me as fragile.)

[Lostislost]

I stopped talking about It because they seem to think I would be better if it was all reported and out in the open. I have been clear I do not want that several times, I would not feel better. Also when I have talked about it, there is little emotional response. I’m sure he has many people like me who have had things happen to them, it must be like listening to someone talk about the weather for him. I don’t want him to imagine me in those situations with those things happening to me, I feel disgusting enough already. I wish he could ask me and I could answer.

[Blueberry21]

My T became very attached when we started talking about it, I felt. Very emotional and parental. He got teary eyed during a couple of the sessions. I regressed pretty hard during that period of time.

Not easy by any means, but worth talking about.

[chihirochild]

I tried to tell him in person several times but I kept clamming up. So I sent it in an email instead.

He took it much more seriously than I did—I didn’t think that what I had experienced was all that significant but he called it SA and that shocked me. I think it was important that I told him because knowing that this happened has allowed us to understand my life and feelings and relationships with better clarity.