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Member Since Apr 2020
Location: UK
Posts: 179
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#1
I am fluent in English but my native language is Japanese.
I was born in Japan and moved to the UK when I was 11. I speak English perfectly, and I don't need to translate between languages when using English. My English is as good as a native speaker. However I do find no matter how good my English is, when in therapy there always something missing. I don't have as much of emotional connection with English than I do with Japanese. I use English in therapy as my T only speaks English. When talking about stuff like trauma and the past especially things that happened before I came to the UK, it's just not the same. Are anyone else in this position? How do you find it effects you? |
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comrademoomoo, Quietmind 2
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Feb 2019
Location: Toodlepip
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#2
I think this is a really interesting issue. Whilst this situation doesn't apply to me in therapy, my partner's first language is not English although they are fluent. It definitely makes a difference to how we connect emotionally. I think we lose some nuance and certainly a lot of commonly understood emphases. Sometimes it is hard work and I feel a distance between us. Consequently, I struggle more than usual to express myself when I am distressed. I can imagine that this would be intensified in a therapeutic relationship. Do you think your therapist experiences "something missing" as well?
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Quietmind 2
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Nov 2010
Location: Crimson cattery
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#3
My first language is American English which is also my T’s native language. I know a bit of German, Spanish and American Sign Language but not enough to amount to anything much. I find when talking about trauma I was to switch to the ASL as it has different “emotions” and connotations. So I think I get it but from a different perspective?
__________________ There’s been many a crooked path that has landed me here Tired, broken and wearing rags Wild eyed with fear -Blackmoores Night |
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Member
Member Since Jul 2019
Location: Uk
Posts: 26
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#4
My best friend also does therapy in English although her first language is Swedish. She says she prefers English as it has many more words to describe things and feelings etc. In Swedish they don’t have that many, she says it isn’t a very emotional language. I’m sorry I don’t know about the Japanese language, maybe (sorry if I’m wrong!) it’s the reverse for you? Do you feel more when you speak Japanese? Are there more, different ways to say things? Like more connected? Is there any way you can do art or sounds to bridge the language gap?
I’m sorry you can’t have therapy in your own language, it must be so odd. |
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Quietmind 2
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: US
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#5
I am not a native English speaker and neither is my therapist. We are both trilingual but in different languages so the only language we do share is English so that’s how we communicate.
I speak English 99% of the time just because how my life played out so I feel that I can express myself and my emotions adequately even though I’ve learned it in my 30s. Have you considered looking for Japanese speaking therapist if you feel it would work better? |
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Quietmind 2
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jun 2018
Location: Somewhere
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#6
I do not have experience with this - I am only fluent in English (I know some German and Spanish, but definitely not enough). Although I can't relate on a personal level, what you're saying still makes sense to me. I know this wouldn't be an exact solution since your therapist only speaks English, but I wonder if it could be therapeutic for you to at least express certain things in Japanese, then repeat them in English. That probably wouldn't help with the connection, but it could feel good to say those things aloud in Japanese anyway. Your therapist would not understand the words, but she would nonetheless bear witness.
I don't know, just an idea. __________________ Life is hard. Then you die. Then they throw dirt in your face. -David Gerrold |
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comrademoomoo, Quietmind 2, SlumberKitty
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jul 2018
Location: CA
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#7
I sometimes spoke to my former therapist in a language she didn't speak. She would tell me only English Kit. Only English. Even when I translated it for her.
__________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA |
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Feb 2019
Location: Toodlepip
Posts: 1,727
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#8
Quote:
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Quietmind 2, susannahsays
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Member
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 223
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#9
I did my therapy in English (my first language), but I found it easier to express some feelings in French (second language). English is 'me', so
saying things in French seemed less threatening somehow. I would write out my feelings in French and read them to my therapist (who didn't understand), and it was helpful. Eventually I could express myself in English and didn't need the French anymore. Could you try something like that? Or if you're in a bigger UK city, could you look for someone who speaks Japanese? |
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Student of Life
Member Since Mar 2014
Location: South America
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#10
I've done therapy in Spanish before (it's my second language). It was okay. I prefer doing therapy in English, though. I understand your feelings. I think I'd want to do it in my native language, too.
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Member
Member Since Aug 2019
Location: Hungary
Posts: 142
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#11
I did therapy both in my native language and in English, and it was OK in English, but ... even outside the context of therapy (movies / literature that I read in both languages) I find that Hungarian words are ... richer, more colorful, more loaded with emotion. I don't think it's the language itself, more like ... English words are, when I first learn them, just words (which, like others said, makes it easier to talk about some things, like SA stuff for me). The longer I live with them and use / hear them, the richer they get, but Hungarian I have lived with all my life, so I don't know if English can really catch up to that. And even where it kind of does, it's not interchangeable - parts of my life that happened in English are actually difficult and weird to talk about in Hungarian..
I also feel that getting things across to the other person is the smaller issue, what's more important in therapy is what the words pull out from me ... like aquatic plants that can be free floating or rooted in the bottom, they both might seem just plants on the surface, but very different when you try to pull them out. |
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feralkittymom, Quietmind 2, susannahsays
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jan 2014
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#12
how about finding a therspist who speaks both languages??
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Poohbah
Member Since Jan 2020
Location: Somewhere I'm working to leave
Posts: 1,243
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#13
I sometimes speak Mandarin, which my T does as well. We mostly use English because while Mandarin is my native tongue, I'm not fluent in it, only English. While she's fluent in both. Sometimes English just doesn't convey things like Mandarin does. If she uses a Mandarin phrase I don't understand, I just ask her to translate.
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SlumberKitty
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