Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLIV

LostOnTheTrail · Jul 10, 2020 at 03:17 PM

I am really trying to do this 'one day at a time' thing.
Teletherapy in many ways is the ultimate trust fall.

Lemoncake · 04:40 PM

I actually need to go back to London to sort out a lot of things.

LonesomeTonight · Jul 10, 2020 at 04:34 PM

Dear T,
Thanks for the validation and support today. What's funny is that D played in the backyard with me for a bit a couple hours after our session. Hoping I can build on that...
Love you,
LT

SummerTime12 · Jul 10, 2020 at 06:21 PM

I’m convinced you actually hate me, are sick of me, and wish I would get out of your life forever.

Adyna · Jul 10, 2020 at 06:39 PM

Is it true?

susannahsays · 08:27 PM

I feel bad.
Will I ever see you again?

puzzclar · Jul 10, 2020 at 08:19 PM

What a day!!! And yet I feel fine. I'm in control of what I do. Which is a first for me.

ArtieTheSequal · Jul 10, 2020 at 11:56 PM

I'm so trying to figure this out. Who/what is in the center of my guilt complex. I have this pretty much pathological need to be seen and acknowledged as "good". Why? Because I grew up with it drilled into my head how bad I was? So I thought if I could only be seen as "good" I might finally be enough?

ArtieTheSequal · Jul 11, 2020 at 12:04 AM

Do you know the answer but you are waiting for me to figure it out for myself?

LostOnTheTrail · Jul 11, 2020 at 06:50 AM

'From victory I tried
To match eternal light, with how I live my life
Of course, I was forced to retreat
From victory, I accept defeat...'

Victory - The Avett Brothers

Merope · Jul 11, 2020 at 09:04 AM

Hello negative transference....

ArtieTheSequal · Jul 11, 2020 at 12:26 PM

I am so looking forward to discussing with you your choice of that particular word when describing how I was acting. And to talking more about what's at the center of my guilt complex.

nikon · Jul 11, 2020 at 03:10 PM

There's stuff I want to talk about that I can't bring myself to say. There are things I have talked about once but they're still here. The memories and feelings just come up again and again and again.

susannahsays · Jul 11, 2020 at 03:56 PM

I feel appreciative of you today.

velcro003 · Jul 12, 2020 at 12:34 AM

i wonder if you'll forget me next week too?

*Beth* · Jul 12, 2020 at 01:12 AM

I really miss you. I wish you would have made a bigger deal of it when my internet was down for our most recent session.

I'm feeling jealous because you'll be vacationing with people you don't live with, yet you're seriously terrified of catching covid. If you're on vacation with those people, why won't you see me f2f in your office at this time? I'm going to ask you about it.

Merope · Jul 12, 2020 at 10:38 AM

I'm scared we'll never be in the same room again.

Lemoncake · Jul 12, 2020 at 12:15 PM

Pregnancy dream might be triggering:

Possible trigger:

I dreamt that I was heavily pregnant and I wake up and there's blood all over my bed sheets. I think to myself bleeding in pregnancy isn't good. I'm knocking at your door and tell you it's an emergency, but you still make me wait outside for 10 mins as you're with another client. I think I should go to the hospital but I don't want to miss my session. I choose to come inside your home instead of seeing a doctor.

And if you want the truth I am jealous of your three family holidays a year with your daughter when I've never been on one.

If you leave can leave me for a month, what difference does another three weeks of canceled sessions really make?

LonesomeTonight · Jul 12, 2020 at 03:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Merope

I'm scared we'll never be in the same room again.

I have this fear about my T as well. And that even if we do resume in-person sessions, he'll never be willing to shake hands again. I want to ask him about the hand-shaking thing, but am afraid of his answer. (Hope it's ok that I replied!)

Merope · Jul 12, 2020 at 04:16 PM

Of course it’s ok! I’m sorry you’re feeling this way too, it really sucks. I’m trying to tell myself I’m just being paranoid, of course we’ll see our Ts again! This is just a phase that will pass. I don’t always believe it, but I’m doing my best. I’m sure in time your T will be ok with hand shaking again, though it might take a while.

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Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLIV

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Lemoncake Luna's offical mini me. Member Since May 2017 Location: Cafe Nervosa. Posts: 9,700 (SuperPoster!) 6 10.2k hugs given	Jul 10, 2020 at 03:53 PM #322 I actually need to go back to London to sort out a lot of things. __________________ "Love, like life, flows Through the heart. Feel the thrill of the flow And say nothing." Last edited by Lemoncake; Jul 10, 2020 at 04:40 PM..

LonesomeTonight Always in This Twilight Member Since Feb 2015 Location: US Posts: 20,768 (SuperPoster!) 9 75k hugs given	Jul 10, 2020 at 04:34 PM #323 Dear T, Thanks for the validation and support today. What's funny is that D played in the backyard with me for a bit a couple hours after our session. Hoping I can build on that... Love you, LT

SummerTime12 Grand Member Member Since Mar 2013 Location: USA Posts: 876 11 601 hugs given	Jul 10, 2020 at 06:21 PM #324 I’m convinced you actually hate me, are sick of me, and wish I would get out of your life forever.

Adyna Member Member Since Jul 2019 Location: Uk Posts: 26 4 11 hugs given	Jul 10, 2020 at 06:39 PM #325 Is it true?

susannahsays Grand Magnate Member Since Jun 2018 Location: Somewhere Posts: 3,355 5 1 hugs given	Jul 10, 2020 at 07:54 PM #326 I feel bad. Will I ever see you again? __________________ Life is hard. Then you die. Then they throw dirt in your face. -David Gerrold Last edited by susannahsays; Jul 10, 2020 at 08:27 PM..

puzzclar Elder Member Since Jan 2010 Location: Where? US Posts: 5,621 14 101 hugs given	Jul 10, 2020 at 08:19 PM #327 What a day!!! And yet I feel fine. I'm in control of what I do. Which is a first for me.

ArtieTheSequal Writing my way through... Member Since Feb 2020 Location: In the desert Posts: 7,239 (SuperPoster!) 4 5,775 hugs given	Jul 10, 2020 at 11:56 PM #328 I'm so trying to figure this out. Who/what is in the center of my guilt complex. I have this pretty much pathological need to be seen and acknowledged as "good". Why? Because I grew up with it drilled into my head how bad I was? So I thought if I could only be seen as "good" I might finally be enough?

ArtieTheSequal Writing my way through... Member Since Feb 2020 Location: In the desert Posts: 7,239 (SuperPoster!) 4 5,775 hugs given	Jul 11, 2020 at 12:04 AM #329 Do you know the answer but you are waiting for me to figure it out for myself?

Merope Veteran Member Member Since Jan 2018 Location: Somewhere in a cloud Posts: 719 6 479 hugs given	Jul 11, 2020 at 09:04 AM #331 Hello negative transference....

ArtieTheSequal Writing my way through... Member Since Feb 2020 Location: In the desert Posts: 7,239 (SuperPoster!) 4 5,775 hugs given	Jul 11, 2020 at 12:26 PM #332 I am so looking forward to discussing with you your choice of that particular word when describing how I was acting. And to talking more about what's at the center of my guilt complex.

nikon Grand Member Member Since Aug 2017 Location: Closet Posts: 842 6 678 hugs given	Jul 11, 2020 at 03:10 PM #333 There's stuff I want to talk about that I can't bring myself to say. There are things I have talked about once but they're still here. The memories and feelings just come up again and again and again.

susannahsays Grand Magnate Member Since Jun 2018 Location: Somewhere Posts: 3,355 5 1 hugs given	Jul 11, 2020 at 03:56 PM #334 I feel appreciative of you today. __________________ Life is hard. Then you die. Then they throw dirt in your face. -David Gerrold

velcro003 Elder Member Since Oct 2008 Posts: 7,361 15 25 hugs given	Jul 12, 2020 at 12:34 AM #335 i wonder if you'll forget me next week too?

Merope Veteran Member Member Since Jan 2018 Location: Somewhere in a cloud Posts: 719 6 479 hugs given	Jul 12, 2020 at 10:38 AM #337 I'm scared we'll never be in the same room again.

Merope Veteran Member Member Since Jan 2018 Location: Somewhere in a cloud Posts: 719 6 479 hugs given	Jul 12, 2020 at 04:16 PM #340 Of course it’s ok! I’m sorry you’re feeling this way too, it really sucks. I’m trying to tell myself I’m just being paranoid, of course we’ll see our Ts again! This is just a phase that will pass. I don’t always believe it, but I’m doing my best. I’m sure in time your T will be ok with hand shaking again, though it might take a while.