Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLIV

Mountaindewed · Jun 16, 2020 at 01:58 PM

If I told you what I was feeling it would **** things up so badly and I just can’t have that right now because things are already so messed up.

chihirochild · Jun 16, 2020 at 03:14 PM

Dear T,

Thank you for telling me that I'm "an amazing writer." That means a lot coming from you.

I think, though, that you're shying away from something, from how you got all choked up at the end of last session. I can't tell if you're embarrassed or trying to make me bring it up or what.

-c

darkestpart · Jun 16, 2020 at 03:48 PM

i’m meeting with a new therapist tomorrow. i feel like i’m cheating on you, but you had to see it coming. please don’t hate me.

me

ArtieTheSequal · Jun 16, 2020 at 05:08 PM

Hugs, dear Lemoncake.

daisydid · Jun 16, 2020 at 05:18 PM

Ugh T why?

MissUdy · Jun 16, 2020 at 05:25 PM

Yay, you are the best! I missed you too.

susannahsays · Jun 17, 2020 at 12:32 AM

You're The Worst!

WastingAsparagus · Jun 17, 2020 at 01:59 AM

Deart T:

Wow. Just realized what life without you was like. And it was not pretty. I need your support. My life unraveled in the past few days even of not seeing you for over a week. Let's start meeting again.

LostOnTheTrail · Jun 17, 2020 at 05:10 AM

When I have to use the feeling words everything goes south.
Poetry allows me to express more...thank you for understanding.

chihirochild · Jun 17, 2020 at 06:54 AM

Dear T,

I hate that we can't talk about the email I sent you until Friday. I feel like you were avoiding the topic of why you got so emotional, and I'm sort of dying to know (not that I am at al sure that you'll actually tell me).

-c

junkDNA · Jun 17, 2020 at 08:02 AM

Ohhh boyyyyy

Lemoncake · Jun 17, 2020 at 09:57 AM

I introduced the new rule of not being called until I call my family. It's been broken three days in a row + today has already been 4 calls.

Merope · Jun 17, 2020 at 11:03 AM

I want to see you in person! How much longer is it going to be? It's already been three months. I haven't been so physically distanced from you in more than two years. If somebody told me in January that I would not see you in person for over three months, I'd have started tearing my hair out. The pandemic came fast and unexpectedly and I got used to zoom quicker than I thought I would....mostly because I didn't think it would last for more than a month. Now it's starting to dawn on me that this could go on for much longer than I thought and I f****** hate it! I wish I could tell you this, but I feel like I'm being ungrateful and selfish.

LostOnTheTrail · Jun 17, 2020 at 11:52 AM

I absolutely agree with you, Merope.

This is madness...creeping madness.

I've been doing worse than ever since the pandemic happened. I know I'm not the only one, but I wish I had some kind of foothold.

comrademoomoo · Jun 17, 2020 at 12:40 PM

Is your sister a lesbian as well?! She looks like it. Why can't I join your lesbian club? I am so fed up with you having a private life full of sisters and lesbians. I am angry about all this exclusion. I can't join your lesbian club, you won't adopt me, I am not allowed to live at your house - even when there aren't Covid restrictions in place! Access denied at every turn. I hope your dog pukes all over that stupid dotted carpet of yours. And that you don't realise until you have trodden in it ... without wearing your slippers!

Merope · Jun 17, 2020 at 12:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LostOnTheTrail

I absolutely agree with you, Merope.

This is madness...creeping madness.

I've been doing worse than ever since the pandemic happened. I know I'm not the only one, but I wish I had some kind of foothold.

I feel like I’d be able to deal with everything else better if my support system (t) hadn’t been affected (if I had physical access to him). Of course, this isn’t coming from a logical point...I understand why things are this way. But it’s hard nonetheless. Seeing him in person charges my batteries.

I’m sorry you’re not doing so well. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that things can return to some sort of normality soon.

LonesomeTonight · Jun 17, 2020 at 12:45 PM

I'm also doing worse...and my T said the soonest he'd think about in-person sessions would be August. I think I've adapted pretty well to Zoom, but it's not at all the same.

darkestpart · Jun 17, 2020 at 02:36 PM

dear s,

thank you for today. i have hope again.

me

darkestpart · Jun 17, 2020 at 02:37 PM

t,

i don’t want to leave you, but s is everything i wish you were. maybe we can have a proper termination session at some point?

me

nottrustin · Jun 17, 2020 at 02:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LostOnTheTrail

I absolutely agree with you, Merope.

This is madness...creeping madness.

I've been doing worse than ever since the pandemic happened. I know I'm not the only one, but I wish I had some kind of foothold.

I have been open with T about my struggles with teletherapy.
We talked about how some of the connection is lost, the energy of being in the same room as each other is lost as well as missing body language. I can only see from her shoulders up and she us very expressive with her body language. Also at times I not feel safe to talk. When I am in her office, I feel like the rest of the world is voiced out and I feel safe. Being at home and hearing my husband and children in other rooms is a huge distraction so some topics have been totally avoided for fear somebody will hear me. I told her that I am VERY thankful that this is an option at this time but I really dislike it

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Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLIV

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Mountaindewed Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2016 Location: Where the sidewalk ends Posts: 36,226 (SuperPoster!) 7 8,779 hugs given	Jun 16, 2020 at 01:58 PM #81 If I told you what I was feeling it would **** things up so badly and I just can’t have that right now because things are already so messed up. __________________ Ridin' with Biden

chihirochild Magnate Member Since Feb 2017 Location: North America Posts: 2,360 7 4,865 hugs given	Jun 16, 2020 at 03:14 PM #82 Dear T, Thank you for telling me that I'm "an amazing writer." That means a lot coming from you. I think, though, that you're shying away from something, from how you got all choked up at the end of last session. I can't tell if you're embarrassed or trying to make me bring it up or what. -c

darkestpart Member Member Since May 2017 Location: US Posts: 66 6	Jun 16, 2020 at 03:48 PM #83 i’m meeting with a new therapist tomorrow. i feel like i’m cheating on you, but you had to see it coming. please don’t hate me. me __________________ Experience: that most brutal of teachers. But you learn, my God do you learn.

ArtieTheSequal Writing my way through... Member Since Feb 2020 Location: In the desert Posts: 7,239 (SuperPoster!) 4 5,775 hugs given	Jun 16, 2020 at 05:08 PM #84 Hugs, dear Lemoncake.

daisydid Member Member Since Oct 2018 Location: the astral plane Posts: 493 5 375 hugs given	Jun 16, 2020 at 05:18 PM #85 Ugh T why?

MissUdy Member Member Since Mar 2020 Location: Wales Posts: 197 4 269 hugs given	Jun 16, 2020 at 05:25 PM #86 Yay, you are the best! I missed you too.

susannahsays Grand Magnate Member Since Jun 2018 Location: Somewhere Posts: 3,355 5 1 hugs given	Jun 17, 2020 at 12:32 AM #87 You're The Worst! __________________ Life is hard. Then you die. Then they throw dirt in your face. -David Gerrold

WastingAsparagus Student of Life Member Since Mar 2014 Location: South America Posts: 4,658 10 2,911 hugs given	Jun 17, 2020 at 01:59 AM #88 Deart T: Wow. Just realized what life without you was like. And it was not pretty. I need your support. My life unraveled in the past few days even of not seeing you for over a week. Let's start meeting again. __________________ "Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it!”

chihirochild Magnate Member Since Feb 2017 Location: North America Posts: 2,360 7 4,865 hugs given	Jun 17, 2020 at 06:54 AM #90 Dear T, I hate that we can't talk about the email I sent you until Friday. I feel like you were avoiding the topic of why you got so emotional, and I'm sort of dying to know (not that I am at al sure that you'll actually tell me). -c

junkDNA Comfy Sedation Member Since Sep 2012 Location: the woods Posts: 19,301 (SuperPoster!) 11 8,149 hugs given	Jun 17, 2020 at 08:02 AM #91 Ohhh boyyyyy __________________

Lemoncake Luna's offical mini me. Member Since May 2017 Location: Cafe Nervosa. Posts: 9,700 (SuperPoster!) 6 10.2k hugs given	Jun 17, 2020 at 09:57 AM #92 I introduced the new rule of not being called until I call my family. It's been broken three days in a row + today has already been 4 calls. __________________ "Love, like life, flows Through the heart. Feel the thrill of the flow And say nothing."

LonesomeTonight Always in This Twilight Member Since Feb 2015 Location: US Posts: 20,768 (SuperPoster!) 9 75k hugs given	Jun 17, 2020 at 12:45 PM #97 I'm also doing worse...and my T said the soonest he'd think about in-person sessions would be August. I think I've adapted pretty well to Zoom, but it's not at all the same.

darkestpart Member Member Since May 2017 Location: US Posts: 66 6	Jun 17, 2020 at 02:36 PM #98 dear s, thank you for today. i have hope again. me __________________ Experience: that most brutal of teachers. But you learn, my God do you learn.

darkestpart Member Member Since May 2017 Location: US Posts: 66 6	Jun 17, 2020 at 02:37 PM #99 t, i don’t want to leave you, but s is everything i wish you were. maybe we can have a proper termination session at some point? me __________________ Experience: that most brutal of teachers. But you learn, my God do you learn.