My T lives alone. In the UK that meant that for many weeks my T was not allowed to arrange to meet anyone. The rules have been relaxed a bit now and she can now meet people outside the home and also be in a ‘bubble’ with another household. We have been having tele sessions. My T has started to look tired and drawn, her face is more lined, she has slight bags under eyes. We have had a rupture and she didn’t seem to be attuned with me in the two sessions that it happened. It makes me wonder whether the social isolation has been affecting her.

[Lonelyinmyheart]

Lockdown can take its toll on people's mental and physical health. Do you feel able to speak to your T about how concerned you are? It would be okay to do especially if it's interfering with your therapy.

[susannahsays]

I can't speak to how she has been affected since I'm obviously not her and don't even know her. However, I am in a similar position since I live alone. It has been months and months since I've had sustained in person contact. I have not had any in person contact with anyone I know since the beginning of March except for a brief 10 minutes with one parent who had come to get one of my dogs (the dog has gone to live with her). The most prolonged contact I've had was with a PA when I had tonsillitis the week before last.

I do have teletherapy twice weekly, and often talk to my sister on the phone. But I'm not in good shape. My anxiety is through the roof. I spend all my time in bed. I'm not eating well. I keep hoping that tomorrow will be better but it's dawning on me that I'm sticking my head in the sand.

Anyway, I do think it's probably been particularly rough for those of us who live alone.

[Omers]

I think it is very hard on those who live alone. My T has his wife, he and his neighbors have talked from a distance, he and his wife have been doing video chats with friends they usually get together with and there have been several paths of communication with the kids. So... while staying safe and to himself he has maintained about as much of a social life as one could hope. He is still struggling. He has a family member that got it, another family member in a care facility where there was a big outbreak, anyone with “kids” or elderly family members are worried... so yeh, he has aged a lot this past year, he is tired, he is no where near his usual optimistic and bubbly self even though he tries. I also wonder if friends and family don’t emotionally “dump” on him more because he is a T.
I would ask your T or mention it. I know my T is more open about that stuff than most but I can see a T objecting to someone politely asking.

It would be weird and concerning if she hadn't been affected by prolonged social isolation.

[LonesomeTonight]

Mine lives with his wife and preteen son, and it definitely seems like he's been affected by it. In responding to something I said yesterday about the days blurring together, he said, "It feels like what should be some of the best times of our lives are just slipping away." Meaning that he felt that way, too. I lamented about my daughter not being able to truly enjoy summer (for example, her camps are being canceled, the pools we belong to are remaining closed), and T said (half-jokingly), "What about my summer?"


I do feel like the pandemic has made him more empathetic, as it's something he's dealing with along with his clients. He seems more caring and supportive lately. Softer, in a way (he tends to be, as he put it, "caring, but not warm and fuzzy"). More humble. He doesn't joke around as much as he usually does. He's also said he feels bad that some of his clients are struggling so much, and all he can offer them right now is teletherapy (he doesn't plan to start seeing clients in person until August at the earliest). And I can just sense sadness coming from him. I think he was wiping away tears at something I was saying yesterday (not the first time since pandemic started), and that's not like him.


I'd imagine it would be even worse in a T who is living alone...

[Lonelyinmyheart]

Originally Posted by comrademoomoo

It would be weird and concerning if she hadn't been affected by prolonged social isolation.

Not necessarily. Some people are introverts and don't mind their own company for long periods. I'm like this.

[nottrustin]

I think some people are struggling to some degree.

I k ow my T is to a certain degree. Her family lives out of state so she has been unable to see them like holidays and such. She was supposed to have a very needed vacation out of state the week everything closed. She was there for one day and then had to scramble to get flights bak. The rest of her vacation was spent at hine teying to work out how she could do teletherapy with her 4 year old at joke as well as her husband also working at home. Typically she would have taken a vacation in April or May as well. Since she is home and realizes how much some of her clients are struggling, she has decided to not take time off.

Plus her family is always active going out and doing things. Her son doesn't understand why he cant play with his daycare friends, etc.

Originally Posted by Lonelyinmyheart

Not necessarily. Some people are introverts and don't mind their own company for long periods. I'm like this.

As an introvert and someone who avoids relationships where possible, I am aware that this is true. My point was that prolonged social isolation under pandemic circumstances has an impact of some sort on everyone - often a negative impact, but not exclusively so. We are affected by our environments and by our relationships. It would be strange to not notice any effect when those relationships and environments change. For example, introverted clients might be able to enjoy their own company but struggle not seeing their therapist in person. That circumstance doesn't apply to me, but I hear variations of this often expressed here.

[Lonelyinmyheart]

Originally Posted by comrademoomoo

As an introvert and someone who avoids relationships where possible, I am aware that this is true. My point was that prolonged social isolation under pandemic circumstances has an impact of some sort on everyone - often a negative impact, but not exclusively so. We are affected by our environments and by our relationships. It would be strange to not notice any effect when those relationships and environments change. For example, introverted clients might be able to enjoy their own company but struggle not seeing their therapist in person. That circumstance doesn't apply to me, but I hear variations of this often expressed here.

Yeah I agree. I only used to meet up with friends occasionally anyway but now that choice has been taken away I'm struggling with not seeing them. It's taken this long but starting to get to me now especially as most don't want to take advantage of the easing of lockdown due to vulnerable family members, which I understand. It does affect people in different ways.

I don’t want to say anything to her about it as it feels rude, but I am questioning whether she’s able to be a good therapist or give me good therapy at the moment. Perhaps it would help if she showed some humility and acknowledgement herself.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Ocean breeze

My T lives alone. In the UK that meant that for many weeks my T was not allowed to arrange to meet anyone. The rules have been relaxed a bit now and she can now meet people outside the home and also be in a ‘bubble’ with another household. We have been having tele sessions. My T has started to look tired and drawn, her face is more lined, she has slight bags under eyes. We have had a rupture and she didn’t seem to be attuned with me in the two sessions that it happened. It makes me wonder whether the social isolation has been affecting her.

Well, you've just described my therapist. In fact, I emailed her after our most recent telesession to express my concern. Frankly, she looked like hell warmed over. She called me and we discussed some stuff, which was very helpful.

Had a telehealth appointment with my pdoc today; her office is right next to my T's. Pdoc says she will start seeing patients at some point before too long. My T, however, is obviously phobic about seeing patients in person. Yes, she is high-risk. She's 69 and has asthma. Still, I think her phobia has gone beyond the beyonds.

Pdoc told me she's going to discuss the situation with my therapist.

x fingers crossed x

The covid horror show is affecting every person I know, or know of. I certainly don't have answers, but there are times when I wonder if the stress about the pandemic is more harmful than the virus itself (for most people).

Ocean breeze, I strongly encourage you to talk with your therapist about what you've observed and how you're feeling. I don't think it's rude at all. I think it would be thoughtful and helpful for you to share your concerns.