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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Apr 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 1,897
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#1
My new T never said what her session length would be. I have only seen her three times the first was the intake so it was 50 minutes. Then the next was 45 minutes which I know can be a normal length even though I am used to 50 or 55 minutes. But today she was holding her sleeping baby the whole time and only did a 38 minute session. I think that is pretty short especially since she was distracted. What do you think? I should probably say something but that is hard for me.
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*Beth*, hopealwayz, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Magnate
Member Since Oct 2018
Location: USA
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#2
Technically, the billing code for a 45 minute session allows for 38-52 minutes, so if that's the code she is using, she's legally within parameters. However, why not ask her about some consistency in the length of sessions? And I don't think it is out of bounds to ask that she not be tending to her infant during your sessions. Mind you, that may mean she becomes less available for session times if she is trying to do both.
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LonesomeTonight, Omers
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Feb 2019
Location: Toodlepip
Posts: 1,714
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#3
Nevermind the session length; she was holding her baby throughout the session? I can't describe the fury that I would feel if I experienced that. Not to mention that it would be a miracle given my therapist's age, but the idea of this is way beyond my comfort level.
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*Beth*, CharlieStarDust, GingerBee, Lonelyinmyheart, LonesomeTonight, Lostislost, Omers
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Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
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#4
I'd also be bothered by her holding her baby the whole time. As for length of sessions, I think it's a completely natural question to ask. You can just say "It seems like our session lengths have varied--what is your standard time for a session?" I've asked my T this (50 minutes, plus a minute or two for scheduling or paying if needed).
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Lonelyinmyheart
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Member Since Jun 2018
Location: New York City
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#5
The lack of consistency is a huge red flag. The fact that she was caring for her baby during YOUR time is an even bigger one.
Since you don’t seem to have a lot invested in this therapist my advice would be to find a new one. |
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Lonelyinmyheart, Quietmind 2
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jan 2014
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#6
I would ask about the time.
As far as the baby did you know ahead of time she would have to if she saw you? __________________ |
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*Beth*
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catches the flowers
Member Since Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
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#7
I adore babies and kids, but...seriously? Her baby in a session? That's really, really weird. I'm assuming that she had no childcare and rather than cancel, she brought her baby to the session. But... Unless it's the child who is in therapy, having a child in the therapy room is so inappropriate for everyone involved, and crosses so many boundaries. I mean, if she was a surgeon would she bring her kid into surgery with her?
Hopefully bringing her child to session is not a regular thing? As for session length, it's annoying and upsetting when they are inconsistent like that. I think 50 minutes is too short, but that's the standard for a therapy session. 38 minutes is really short. My T once mentioned that she sees most clients for 30 minutes, I wonder how anyone can get anything done in such a short time. I refrain from suggesting that someone finds a different therapist. You know her and I don't know what her treatment plan for you is. But I will say that she sounds unprofessional to me. To say the least. __________________ |
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Apr 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 1,897
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#8
Luckily the baby slept almost the time. I was more annoyed by the short time. I am more used to 50-55 minutes. I know a therapy “hour” differs with each T but that short of a session is hard to swallow. Especially since I changed insurance and my copay went up.
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catches the flowers
Member Since Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
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#9
She probably cut the session short because she knew the baby was going to awaken from its nap
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Poohbah
Member Since Jun 2019
Location: Earth
Posts: 1,093
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#10
Whether it's the fluctuating time or the baby that bothers you most, both are massive red flags. Therapy sessions should be consistent and focused on you, that's a hallmark of what therapy is about. You aren't getting what you deserve especially if she offers no explanation for either changing the length of your sessions willy nilly or bringing her baby into the room (which could be very triggering and upsetting for many clients). Your T doesn't sound very professional at all and there are far better therapists out there.
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Legendary Wise Elder
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Location: CA
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#11
When I was seeing Pastor T, 38 minutes seemed about the norm for him. But I wasn't paying him so I figured any time he gave me was good. Regular T does pretty much the whole hour which I appreciates since she takes notes throughout, it's not like she is using those extra 10 minutes to write notes. Maybe ask T about fluctuating amount of time for sessions/or what her normal session length is. HUGS Kit
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#12
Quote:
ditto this. or therapists who keep stopping for phonecalls. been their, done that |
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Magnate
Member Since Sep 2013
Posts: 2,014
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#13
Because Ts have different lengths regarding session time, this is a question I always asked at my first session. I wanted to know what to expect (and so as not to be shortchanged).
38 minutes is short... I would ask her how long a session with her typically is. As for the baby, did she apologise/explain their presence? If she didn't, I don't think that's right. I wouldn't go all guns blazing as maybe she didn't have a choice nor a back-up plan but whatever troubles you, bring it up so you know what to expect + you can have some consistency. |
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*Beth*, LonesomeTonight, Quietmind 2
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catches the flowers
Member Since Jul 2019
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#14
I meant to point out that the baby being present in a therapy session is not only a problem for the client. It's wrong to have a child attend a therapy session for the sake of the child. Sure, the baby was asleep and its "only" a baby. But what if its a session in which the client is especially emotional or describes events that are not appropriate for a child to hear about?
We don't know how much babies hear and process environmental information. That the therapist had her baby in a session indicates to me that she is not a responsible parent. She, of all people, should have an awareness of childhood trauma, and that trauma can sometimes come from things we hear when we are children. __________________ |
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Apr 2013
Location: USA
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#15
She said her mom usual watches her and she was in the other room. That she had the baby in case she needed to feed her. Thank god that didn’t happen.
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*Beth*, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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catches the flowers
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#16
Okay, it's good that the baby was in the other room. Sounds like she had a last-minute child care issue. She was probably doing the best she could, although it might have been better to reschedule your appointment that cut your session short (which she most likely did because she was stressed about the baby being there). Hopefully it was all a fluke.
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Apr 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 1,897
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#17
Baby was with her the whole time. She just mention that her mom was in the next room and would normally have her but she was worried she would need to eat. That would have been awkward.
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*Beth*, LonesomeTonight
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Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
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#18
Quote:
Was she breastfeeding? Because I imagine that would have been extremely awkward... if her mom was in the other room, seems like she should have left baby with her. |
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*Beth*
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catches the flowers
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#19
Ugh. Weirdness. Definitely, please bring this stuff up with her.
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LonesomeTonight, Quietmind 2
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Apr 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 1,897
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#20
I need to find a new T. This session started 3 minutes late because she had her baby with her again. She was screaming so my T took 3 more minutes to calm her. Then we had an 18 minute session. 18 minutes it is unbelievable.
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*Beth*, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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