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Child of a lesser god
Member Since Jun 2015
Location: Tartarus
Posts: 19,269
(SuperPoster!)
9 12.4k hugs
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#981
Dear Info,
The way it feels to me is that you are (inadvertently) forcing me to mourn your husband too. I have enough to deal with. ATAT |
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ArtieTheSequal, LonesomeTonight, LostOnTheTrail, Mystical_Being, SlumberKitty, unaluna
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Elder
Member Since Jan 2010
Location: Where? US
Posts: 5,621
14 101 hugs
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#982
I'm not dealing well with all that has happened in the last year. You may think that I am, but.
The last time I was sui in session, and after I left the house and shopped, then forgot what was discussed. Tonight, I am not me, I don't even know who I am. I'm stressed, no beyond stressed. Yet I look like I'm holding it together, but am I? I've suppressed far too much and it's getting to me tonight. I feel like my body is reacting far too much and I don't know what really is happening. Please tell me this is a dream?! |
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ArtieTheSequal, LonesomeTonight, Mystical_Being, SlumberKitty, unaluna
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Veteran Member
Member Since May 2020
Location: Uk
Posts: 558
4 890 hugs
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#983
I feel so sick, it all just feels like one long day, I can't find space to breathe, I don't know what to do about it all I'm just laying here feeling like I'm the biggest outsider.
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ArtieTheSequal, LonesomeTonight, LostOnTheTrail, Mystical_Being, SlumberKitty
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Human Feeling
Member Since Aug 2011
Location: England
Posts: 5,267
13 3,440 hugs
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#984
Well, that was one heck of a session. Thank you for supporting me.
__________________ 'Somewhere up above the great divide Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few A man can see his way clear to the light 'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin |
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ArtieTheSequal, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 38,106
(SuperPoster!)
8 9,436 hugs
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#985
I’m not thinking much about the old T today. I have a lot of stuff to do this weekend so I’m busy today. But I am thinking of what to discuss with new T and if I want to tell her some stuff.
__________________ I'm Blue |
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ArtieTheSequal, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Roses are falling.
Member Since May 2017
Location: Seattle.
Posts: 9,920
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7 10.4k hugs
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#986
I want my mother.
I want my mother. I want to go home. I'm tired of being on my own. I can't stop crying now. __________________ |
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ArtieTheSequal, ElectricManatee, LonesomeTonight, Mystical_Being, SlumberKitty, unaluna
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 38,106
(SuperPoster!)
8 9,436 hugs
given |
#987
I’m glad you sounded relieved when I asked if you do in person sessions. And then you smiled and said “I’m looking forward to meeting with you in my office.”
Old T Monday was our last official in person session before those almost 200 days before we met a couple times in your office. It hit me a bit just now. But I don’t know. Maybe it’s more then just last year at this time with you. A lot more stuff happened a year ago with me and also in the world then just going to video sessions. __________________ I'm Blue |
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LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Writing my way through...
Member Since Feb 2020
Location: In the desert of my soul
Posts: 7,526
(SuperPoster!)
4 5,953 hugs
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#988
Thank you for today and for understanding what I was trying to explain about why I chose not to tell you about last weekend's workshop in advance. Despite the ups & downs we've had, and all of my ridiculous projections over the years, you really truly are 'one of the good ones'.
I think you were right about that Shadow stuff. Why didn't I recognize my shadow in that one dream? Silly me, it's so obvious now that you pointed it out! I was all well derp. Had I had more time to work with it, maybe I would have recognized it on my own, but still. I'm not going anywhere for the foreseeable future. Twice a month feels perfect right now, as long as I continue to do my 'work' apart from our sessions. I think last night's dream told me that I will. I am starting to envision at some point going to once every 3 weeks... Last edited by ArtieTheSequal; Mar 05, 2021 at 05:44 PM.. |
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SlumberKitty
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329
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6 117.7k hugs
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#989
Dear T: Sort of wish I was seeing you tomorrow. But I can wait. Nothing pressing. Kit
__________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA |
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LonesomeTonight, Mountaindewed
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Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 21,486
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9 75.9k hugs
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#990
Dear T,
OK, I admit I did sort of want you to tell me reasons that someone would want to be married to me, but I know that would be going down the wrong path. Your saying that there are and that I need to figure out what they are (or whatever you said) is the correct thing therapeutically to do. Besides, if I'm in a mindset where I'm feeling that badly about myself as a wife/partner, would I even believe anything you said? Maybe I should try journaling about it this weekend and if I can't come up with anything beyond "I'm a pretty good cook" (I'm guessing "good at laundry" wouldn't count...), then maybe I could enlist your help to get me there. Or at least to make changes so I can feel better about how I'm doing as a partner. Like come up with things to do. Also, I think it's a positive sign that you gave me an opening to talk about the stuff from last session regarding you, and I didn't take it. Aside from thanking you for your email reply. That to me shows some sort of growth. To not just ask for more and more reassurance that you're OK with it. And you seemed fairly normal toward me today, not like all distant or anything. Though, I don't know, maybe your playing with that sword-like letter opener was a subconscious "stay back" (or, I suppose, something more...Freudian). Monday feels far away though. After the last two sessions being pretty intense. But maybe it's better I have a bit of time to reflect. Love, LT |
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SlumberKitty
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Legendary
Member Since Apr 2012
Location: Earth
Posts: 15,034
(SuperPoster!)
12 5,530 hugs
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#991
T,
Thank-you for calling me back. I won't tell you anything important until middle /end of session. __________________ Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
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SlumberKitty
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