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Old Yesterday, 08:39 PM   #941
unaluna
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Default Re: Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLV

LT - just browsed your 2nd paragraph - i read something recently, that its not self-esteem that is missing (in upbringing etc) but self-compassion.

Ive been watching "sMothered" on TLC, and holy cow. I need a reality check!
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Old Yesterday, 09:26 PM   #942
LonesomeTonight
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Default Re: Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLV

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Originally Posted by unaluna View Post
LT - just browsed your 2nd paragraph - i read something recently, that its not self-esteem that is missing (in upbringing etc) but self-compassion.

Ive been watching "sMothered" on TLC, and holy cow. I need a reality check!

Self-compassion makes a lot of sense. I think it's also about what self-esteem can become tied to--in my case, things like good grades, being a "good girl" (like writing thank-you notes promptly, following the rules, not causing trouble). Where self-compassion should be able to be there no matter what. Not sure I was ever taught that piece.

Haven't seen that show--maybe I should check it out?
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Old Yesterday, 10:09 PM   #943
unaluna
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Default Re: Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLV

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Haven't seen that show--maybe I should check it out?
You will feel so normal and grounded! Altho a lot of that is just the plastic surgery! But not all!

I keep wanting to comment but there isnt really a place. I will have to find the facebook group for the show. You might think im weird! It is sooooo opposite of my mother, but in a way not? Very psychological, dependent, lotsa STUFF.
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Old Today, 12:03 PM   #944
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Default Re: Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLV

Dear T,
I was thinking more about your comment about feeling sadness for me and why I've reacted so strongly to that. My parents should have felt sadness for me when I was struggling. Instead, they seemed annoyed (or indifferent). So I apply that to myself. Instead of having self-compassion. And I expect others, including you, to react that way as well. Your feeling sad for me isn't weird. It's normal. It's the expected* response to someone else being upset. So how do *I* start reacting that way to me?
Love you,
LT


*To use something from my D's school psychologist, the expected vs. unexpected reaction.
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Old Today, 01:52 PM   #945
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Default Re: Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLV

To old T:

Today I ate an Aero candy bar and I had a mug of blue fruit Lipton tea because it reminds me of you and February 2020 when I was really struggling and you were telling me everything would be ok.

Am I in the denial stage of grief or the depression stage?
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Old Today, 02:25 PM   #946
Lemoncake
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Default Re: Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLV

Feeling anxious about my upcoming exam.

Booked two therapy sessions for my younger sister, with the therapist she saw once before in Nov. Her upcoming session will be on the 8th of march.
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Old Today, 04:25 PM   #947
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Default Re: Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLV

Oh, dear M....please be back on Monday.
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Old Today, 08:35 PM   #948
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Default Re: Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLV

Now where do we go from here?
Will we recover...?
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Old Today, 09:07 PM   #949
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Default Re: Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLV

As if I wasn't feeling alone enough. Today I had multiple reminders of long term T. Ugh, I hate this. Why is life so complex right now.
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