[Mountaindewed]

A psychopath. Today she kept pushing me until I became angry. And the way she was doing it just felt funny. Then she randomly said when we were almost done “by the way, I like your glasses.” And I’ve read that psychopaths do stuff like that. Throw in compliments to throw you off and make you think they are safe people. Then right before we signed off she said “I’ll see what the week of thanksgiving looks like or maybe you’ll want a week off from me pushing you.” I don’t know. I just feel funny about the whole thing.

Does this sound odd?

[TishaBuv]

I have also wondered if t’s purposely push our buttons just to get a reaction. It sounds like yours admitted to doing it. I’m not sure what was the purpose of the glasses compliment. She probably just liked them and maybe thought nothing about the session as that’s what t’s do?

[SlumberKitty]

I don't know. Some T's are really pushy. I've never worked well with a pushy T. In fact I've left a couple of pushy T's. I do think it has it's place and time but if it is bothering you, I would definitely bring it up to her and say you want her to push you less.

[ArtleyWilkins]

Sometimes they push. Doesn't make them psychopaths. All of my T's got pushy from time to time - generally I needed it. Didn't make it pleasant at the time, but there were times I needed to be pushed beyond the place where I was stuck. Usually worked for me.

[HarperF]

I think she likes you...but then, psychopaths usually do like their victims.

On a more serious note, it looks like she is conscious of her pushing you. I think she would be open to discussion about that if that makes you uncomfortable. Lots of therapists think they only do a good job if they are pushing their clients.

[Teddy Bear]

She probably has a reason to push. Testing you for something. My T pushes just a little sometimes but I think it's normal.

[nottrustin]

When you say she pushes you do you mean she pushes you to make you angry or she pushes you to go a little deeper or open up more? If you ask her will she back off?

My T admits to pushing me some especially when discussing a couple of very painful topics. We have discussed how she wants to push me just outside of my comfort zone. She feels that is how growth happens she also knows what I can handle and what I cannot. We both agree if I do not want to be pushed or just want to change the subject I just need to tell her. She will always honor that.

[Mountaindewed]

I think she may have just wanted me to open up but in the process I was getting angry. I really don’t know. But I was trying to open up and I told her that.

[nottrustin]

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

I think she may have just wanted me to open up but in the process I was getting angry. I really don’t know. But I was trying to open up and I told her that.

can you bring it up at your next appointment when you are not angry. Is it possible your anger was not so much about her but a mask for the emotions related to the topic you were discussing?

[sarahsweets]

Its quite an unnecessary jump to compare uncomfortable pushiness to psychopaths and use that to base a conclusion off of.

[Omers]

I’ve had T’s who think this is a way of doing therapy... I call BS.
My current T would never antagonize as a part of therapy. He would find the whole idea very unprofessional at best.

[Rive.]

Pushing someone does not make them a psychopath.

Your T seems like she wanted to shake you so that things would change track. That is not psychopathic.

I can get the pain but what gets me is people's tendency to demonise T. Here, I fail to see how that can be helpful to qualify T as a psychopath.

[stopdog]

Have you tried any other therapists? I believe a great many of them, if not all, become therapists to fix themselves. Therapists are not paragons of mental health -at best they are merely people who have figured out how to make a living from hurt and vulnerable people. Therapists deserve to be demonized.

Originally Posted by stopdog

Have you tried any other therapists? I believe a great many of them, if not all, become therapists to fix themselves. Therapists are not paragons of mental health -at best they are merely people who have figured out how to make a living from hurt and vulnerable people. Therapists deserve to be demonized.

Therapists need to be challenged, held accountable, criticised, and closely regulated. Demonizing therapists does nothing to empower clients.

Have you tried saying to her that you think she is evil and a psychopath? Her response might give you more information. You are using some powerful adjectives to describe what appears to be pretty standard, if unpleasant, therapy experiences. Is she evil or is she insensitive? Is she a psychopath or is she sometimes unprofessional?

Originally Posted by Omers

I’ve had T’s who think this is a way of doing therapy... I call BS.
My current T would never antagonize as a part of therapy. He would find the whole idea very unprofessional at best.

Antagonizing a client might be clumsy practice, but it is unlikely to be psychopathic in nature. Antagonizing a client is also not necessarily deliberate - feeling antagonized can be an indication of your hurt and wounds rather than an indication of the (perceived) antagonist's intentions.

[here today]

I don't know how to say it well -- but I think the feeling that someone is evil is worth looking into. It's a pretty basic, survival-level intuiton. Is it the other person who is realistically dangerous in some way? In what way? Can you deal with the "threat" in some way other than leaving the person? Maybe that's a topic that is worth exploring with the T? IF they are willing and able -- which, in my experience, some of them are not -- which indicates that they are (potentially) dangerous right there.

[guy1111]

Sounds frustrating. Maybe she is a psychopath. Hopefully it doesn't deter you from going back to therapy.

Trust your gut. Maybe you need to hold this one at a distance until they can regain your respect.

She might have said she liked your glasses to make you feel more comfortable. Being in the “hot seat” with sensitive feelings attached then having a compliment would feel funny if you don’t trust her. You might want to trust your instincts. Or you might be your an empath.. thinking about everything your talking about and reading your therapist at the same time. Have you had any other therapists?

[Mountaindewed]

I guess it’s because she has told me before that she can be really mean and really angry at times. She says it’s because of her kids though who are under age 5. But I can tell when her personal life frustration seeps into my sessions and I kind of feel like at times she’s taking her personal issues out on me. I have asked her before and she basically admits it. I’ve just stopped emailing her between sessions and am doing pretty decently right now with the thought of her. I think I just won’t tell her certain things anymore. I have had other therapists and besides one they were more professional but not as personally involved. Like they had too many other clients or something.

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

I guess it’s because she has told me before that she can be really mean and really angry at times. She says it’s because of her kids though who are under age 5. But I can tell when her personal life frustration seeps into my sessions and I kind of feel like at times she’s taking her personal issues out on me. I have asked her before and she basically admits it. I’ve just stopped emailing her between sessions and am doing pretty decently right now with the thought of her. I think I just won’t tell her certain things anymore. I have had other therapists and besides one they were more professional but not as personally involved. Like they had too many other clients or something.

Yikes. A psychotherapist who projects her "stuff" on to her clients. That's just super inappropriate, especially since this seems to be the routine for her with you. She's intentionally manipulating you so she can just "vent" about her life during your sessions instead of actually helping you.

My suggestion is: find a new therapist. One who has better boundaries and doesn't use their patients sessions to vent about their own frustrations. It's clear you've picked up on her doing this to you. Why haven't you sought another therapist out yet as a replacement? She sounds just terrible, like, she's not helpful to you at all.

[Mountaindewed]

I’m moving in a few months. So I just feel like it’s best to stick with her and it doesn’t make sense to switch to anyone new.