[emmaleemochizuki]

So it took me a lot of courage to actually email my T and said that I need an extra session this week. It's the first time I really reach out and ask for help.

And in our last session she said herself to let her know if I need extra support and she's sure she will fit me in for one more session if need be.

anyway I emailed her, and she emailed back to say that she did had some availability but it's been filled so she won't be able to see me again until our next scheduled session which is on Friday.

I guess I'm disappointed in a way that it was a lot for me to ask for help at first, and you don't promise someone something you can't keep. I guess it's just me being too sensitive as I always am. I mean I can survive till Friday and I'm not in a crisis or anything, but it's just gonna be quite a struggle. whatever, it's not like it hasn't been any worse before.

[East17]

I don't think you are being over sensitive.

She shouldn't have offered extra sessions if she wasn't going to be able to follow through with it. It sounds like it took a lot of courage to ask in the first place.

I hope you are ok and will be able to keep yourself safe until Friday.

[Omers]

You are not over sensitive, your T dropped the ball. She said she would make it work... you took a big risk and then she didn’t follow through.
Stay safe.

[SlumberKitty]

I'm sorry that happened. I can understand being disappointed.

[ScarletPimpernel]

I agree. You're not being overly sensitive. If L offers me a slot, she saves that slot for me. Or, she gives me a deadline for when I have to decide.

[RoxanneToto]

You’re entitled to be disappointed, you didn’t get what you were promised. Especially since it wasn’t easy for you to ask.

[*Beth*]

Hmmm...this is a tough one, because I can see both sides. I can certainly understand why you feel hurt. And I can understand how her schedule could have filled up.


I have to set up appointments at least 2 weeks in advance with my T because her schedule is always packed. My suggestion is that when you see her on Friday, schedule the extra appt. for the following week.

[LonesomeTonight]

Hugs, I understand your being upset--I would be as well. I would definitely talk to her about it. Maybe in the future, she could say something like, "If you want an extra session, you'll need to let me know by x day and time."

My T usually has an extra slot for me if I ask, but he's also in private practice and is in charge of his own schedule. Plus he tends to only see like 5 clients a day (but sees clients 6 days a week generally). I'm pretty sure a few weeks ago he added an extra slot on Friday afternoon for me, at the end of the day. I said something like, "I feel bad if you added an extra session at the end of the day for me," and he said that he was willing to do that because he knew I was in distress (this regarded a conflict with him). There have been a couple times when I've asked if he had anything earlier available and he hasn't, so it's not like he always makes time. And I've had a T and a marriage counselor in the past who generally had very full schedules, and each was only able to accommodate an extra session on one occasion, both sort of emergencies (though I'd asked for extra ones multiple times and did not get one).

What I'm trying to say is, I don't think it's about how much the T cares about you, for example, but just how they choose to work their schedule. And it could be that she hadn't heard from you yet and someone else asked for an extra session, so she put them in. Would it have been better for her to either add a slot for you or to have held something open? Yes. But I also think this is why you need to discuss it with her, to know what to do if it comes up in the future.

This would be hard for me too. For me, part of learning the skill of asking for what I need is also knowing how to deal with that need not being met on occasion. It is really hard, especially when you have lived a life where your needs have been ignored.

[LonesomeTonight]

Originally Posted by comrademoomoo

This would be hard for me too. For me, part of learning the skill of asking for what I need is also knowing how to deal with that need not being met on occasion. It is really hard, especially when you have lived a life where your needs have been ignored.

This is a good point. For me, it's also asking for what I need when I've spent my life not wanting to bother or annoy people (thanks, childhood lessons!) I've gotten much better with that with therapy (particularly with my current T). But I could also see, if she didn't have an opening, being concerned I'd annoyed her by asking.

[ArtleyWilkins]

I don't think you are being to sensitive; it is okay to feel disappointed. But I don't think the therapist had an obligation to leave an open appointment slot open indefinitely on the chance you might decide perhaps to take her up on her offer either.

She hadn't heard back from you and at that point she fill the slot with a client who was able to come in.

But it is perfectly okay to be disappointed. That's completely normal. Just understand that her filling that slot was not about a lack of caring for you.

[SlumberKitty]

[sarahsweets]

There is nothing wrong with you for feeling this way. I dont see that your T promised you a session I thought the T was saying they would try and fit you in. Maybe she has other clients that she said the same thing to and she had to fit them in before you decided you needed to see her. Still its something to bring up because asking to have your needs met is a scary thing for some people and they really make themselves vunerable when they do it. So you should feel proud you asked her.