[CantExplain]

I always felt that Madame T was self-censoring. She had very, very few unguarded moments and rarely spoke from the heart. The only time I felt I could trust her to speak freely was when she was angry, and this is perhaps the main reason I kept goading her.

(These remarks apply equally well to my mother, of course.)

I'm sure she had a good sound therapeutic excuse, eg "It's not about me, it's about you".

But in the end, the emotional connection was just too narrow.

[Omers]

I don’t think you are over thinking. A T’s self disclosure is such a fine line and different with each client. To me it sounds as though your T was following some script as to what a T should be. In reality what a T needs to be is a therapeutic relationship for YOU not some script out of a text book.

I have never liked your Madame T!! How long has it been since you have seen her?
My old T is still on my mind a lot and I havent seen her in 12 years.

[satsuma]

That’s an interesting insight. I hadn’t thought about that before - that someone would be drawn into goading another person because when the other person is angry feels like the only moment of real connection. But yes it makes sense.

[ArtleyWilkins]

Important insight about finding a therapist that fits your needs. When we have to "goad" someone to behave the way we want them to, of course they are not being their authentic self. It is important to honor what we need in a therapy relationship by finding the right therapist "fit", and also to realistically understand that a therapist cannot change their personality or even their therapy style to fit each individual client's needs.