What you found helpful or not helpful from your T?

emmaleemochizuki · Nov 23, 2020 at 02:40 PM

So in a situation when you disclose something to your T for the first time, whether that is something you are struggling with right now, or certain events that happened in the past.

How did your T response? What are some of the things he/she did that you found helpful? and what things didn't help?

Just wanna get a general idea.

Lostislost · Nov 23, 2020 at 03:02 PM

Anything that makes me feel close to him helps. Sharing things, touch, sending pictures or stuff we like. If I share something big with him... he doesn't usually show any emotion which I find a bit odd I guess, sort of feels like he doesn't believe me or can't understand it. He usually responds with "That sounds... awful/terrifying etc". I think it would help if he could comfort me when I tell him stuff.

Things that don't help are him putting me in a box with other clients, telling me that my soul is hidden, saying he is more comfortable doing things with his other clients, or if he looks bored and he might be feeling like I'm just another 50 minutes to fill his day.

*Beth* · Nov 23, 2020 at 03:52 PM

I find nearly everything she does helpful. She's extremely empathetic and intuitive, and seems to have loads of life experience.

The one aspect of our therapy that bothers me is that she frequently forgets things I've told her, and has to refer to her notes.

I've pretty much gotten used to it, though.

stopdog · Nov 23, 2020 at 04:09 PM

Therapy was not completely worthless when I was using it as a place to vent about my person's illness and death.
It was completely useless for everything else. The therapist talking was never helpful

Nov 23, 2020 at 09:14 PM

It's helpful to me when T responds by acknowledging/saying how hard it was for me to share that with him. Then it helps when he is empathic to my point of view.

It's not helpful for T to challenge me too much right away. If he gives me time and space to sit in the space with it for a while it helps.

Mountaindewed · Nov 27, 2020 at 07:45 PM

It’s helpful when she listens and is calm and nice and doesn’t talk about her other clients or drink tons of water during the session.

It’s not helpful when she brings her personal issues into work and then pushes me to the point of anger instead of backing down when she can tell I’m getting upset.

nottrustin · Nov 27, 2020 at 08:41 PM

What I found helpful is when they they have listened, showed compassion and allowed me to go at my pace. Of it is the first time it is okay to ask questions to clarify what I am talking about bimut not push for more details.

Also what has not been helpful was when I was dealing with simethi g very recent and painful and rather than listening and just being there to offer support, she used CBT. Near the end of the appointment she realized I had shot down. She realized she handled it totally wrong and apologized by I could t discuss it then. The next day we discussed it..

~*glass_owl*~ · Nov 27, 2020 at 10:43 PM

I've put years into therapy. I got better at setting boundaries. I learned coping skills. I learned and reviewed CBT. I learned DBT and reviewed DBT. I learned and reviewed mindfulness skills. I got closer to family. Specifically for PTSD she made me do some somatic therapy and talk about my feelings and thoughts, that really helped then she brought me present and made sure I as present. I could tell that was so much work. My relationships skills have improved. I think there's more, but that's enough for now.

Taylor27 · Nov 28, 2020 at 11:34 AM

My therapist really listens and allows me to go at a pace that is comfortable for me. She also has loaned me books to read and other resources that help me in my recovery trauma, meditation, healthy eating, life style. She has really helped me to start to live life so that now i can begin to tackle things that brought me to therapy.

Omers · Nov 29, 2020 at 07:45 PM

Honestly, pre-covid the most therapeutic response from my T when I shared the hardest things ever was a silent saueeze. Either a hug, an arm around my shoulder and a quick firm squeeze or he would squeeze my hand... never words. I know a lot of people are uncomfortable with silence or feel rejected by it but he is SO good at being silently present... and that’s what I need.
He tends to blunder it when he talks.

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emmaleemochizuki Member Member Since Apr 2020 Location: UK Posts: 179 4 23 hugs given	Nov 23, 2020 at 02:40 PM #1 So in a situation when you disclose something to your T for the first time, whether that is something you are struggling with right now, or certain events that happened in the past. How did your T response? What are some of the things he/she did that you found helpful? and what things didn't help? Just wanna get a general idea.
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Beth catches the flowers Member Since Jul 2019 Location: Downtown Vibes, California Posts: 15,701 (SuperPoster!) 5 23.7k hugs given	Nov 23, 2020 at 03:52 PM #3 I find nearly everything she does helpful. She's extremely empathetic and intuitive, and seems to have loads of life experience. The one aspect of our therapy that bothers me is that she frequently forgets things I've told her, and has to refer to her notes. I've pretty much gotten used to it, though. __________________
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Anonymous46689 Guest Posts: n/a	Nov 23, 2020 at 09:14 PM #5 It's helpful to me when T responds by acknowledging/saying how hard it was for me to share that with him. Then it helps when he is empathic to my point of view. It's not helpful for T to challenge me too much right away. If he gives me time and space to sit in the space with it for a while it helps.
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Mountaindewed Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2016 Location: Where the sidewalk ends Posts: 38,782 (SuperPoster!) 8 9,761 hugs given	Nov 27, 2020 at 07:45 PM #6 It’s helpful when she listens and is calm and nice and doesn’t talk about her other clients or drink tons of water during the session. It’s not helpful when she brings her personal issues into work and then pushes me to the point of anger instead of backing down when she can tell I’m getting upset. __________________ I'm Blue
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Taylor27 healing from trauma Member Since Dec 2017 Location: Alberta Posts: 30,441 (SuperPoster!) 6 24.4k hugs given	Nov 28, 2020 at 11:34 AM #9 My therapist really listens and allows me to go at a pace that is comfortable for me. She also has loaned me books to read and other resources that help me in my recovery trauma, meditation, healthy eating, life style. She has really helped me to start to live life so that now i can begin to tackle things that brought me to therapy.
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