How Do You Express Anger Toward T?

How do you communicate anger toward your T? How do you express it in therapy?

In the past I ran away from treatment or withdrew but I don't want to do that anymore. I agreed with T that I was angry at him after he brought it up. Also told him I wanted to yell at him and didn't know what to do. Usually this is when I'd withdraw from him. How do others communicate anger toward their T?

For me it is important to be respectful. We can cry when sad, laugh when happy. With anger are we only suppose to be calm and say "I am angry at you?" Other emotions seem so much more acceptable to really express.

I'm allowed to be angry at my T. Not abusive or violent of course, but I have shouted and screamed at him. Another way to express anger is to just tell them the truth, no matter how hard it might be.

When I get angry its usually in emails to her. I’ve only gotten really pissed twice in sessions. Once in February and then once a few weeks ago when she was pushing me really hard and I ended up getting angry. She can tell I’m mad at her when she says something and I get really quite.

In February I just went at her before she even closed the door and she was just standing in the arch of the door with a stunned look on her face because I had never been like that before. We worked things out in that session and I apologized for my outburst.

In therapy You can say or do anthing that isn’t harmful or dangerous to yourself or others. I treat therapist like significant other whom I am loudly expressing my strong feelings to sometimes . I try not to accummulate my anger to the point of critical outburst, but this is what I am trying to do in life in general.

Most of the time, I just change my voice to an angry one. Not yelling, but still rather aggressive. I don't insult him or anything though. Sometimes I am a bit passive aggressive, and else I just argue and question whatever he's saying.
There were two instances where I was so upset that I turned away from him so he could only see my back. He got that I was angry in those cases too.

I'm bad at expressing anger in general, even worse with authority figures (which I think of my T as, even though he says he doesn't want to be). I've sent him a couple angry emails in the past. Which helped me get it out. However, he's the type of T who will be honest with me about his feelings (vs. just accepting anything I throw at him). So he sent somewhat harsh replies in a couple instances. I now realize it might have been better if I told him to wait to session to reply.


Because I'm better at expressing myself in writing, I have typed things up like that and handed to him at the start of session before (if you're doing virtual therapy, you could maybe email it at start of session or share your screen). I've found that's a better way of doing it because we can talk about it.

He's also told me that even if he were to get upset or frustrated with me, it wouldn't threaten the relationship. In other words, he'd never terminate me for that. It took me some time to believe that, but now I do. Maybe it would help to talk to your T about your fears of expressing anger with him. And to ask how he'd react. And share what you're afraid of? Before you actually express the anger to him.

I don't remember being particularly angry with any of my therapists - more just frustrated with the process or my own lack of progress at times. I think they were so willing to hear my input and any objections I might have had to whatever was going on that things never really rose to the level of "anger."

Good question. I don't have a therapist. I simply don't talk to them much.

I haven't gotten angry except for one time, and then I just quit going. I couldn't face her anymore, and I think what she said was completely wrong.

I lost a son about eleven years ago. It had been about three years when I saw her.

She made the statement that I was grieving too much, and I was interfering in his moving on. I thought she was way out of line. I think I should grieve as much as I need to. I still do grieve.

I was going to see her again, but I just couldn't.

I say "I'm angry about what you said to me when _________ because I __________. " And then we talk about it.

Actually nah, that's just what I'd like to be able to say.
What generally happens is that I clam up and shut down in the moment, but we usually do get around to talking about it the next time we meet. She usually asks "what happened last time when ______" and I have usually reflected on it and thought about it and can usually tell her honestly about what was going on at that time.

I told the woman the many ways she failed. I also wrote short stories where she was murdered or the murderer or both.

I tell her she p@#$ed me off and why and then we discuss it in detail.

She usually can guess when I'm angry at her. I hate saying it, so she'll ask and I'll say yes or just nod my head. One time I actually directly said I'm mad at her. She took a vacation right when Covid hit, and I told her I was angry at her for being irresponsible and possibly affecting my therapy. She was so proud of me and thanked me for being honest.

[/B]

I think most Ts want to know if the upset us. With long term T I never told her because of fear of making her angry. I now know it is because of my abandonment issues. The last few weeks of working together we had one 9f these misunderstandings. I will forever regret not trusting her enough not to tell her. Current T and I have discussed it a few times and the pain I feel because if it. She knows I learned that lesson so try to We have discussed that she would never intentionally do or say anything to hurt me so I approach it that way.

A long time ago I would act out to get my emotions across. These days I simply tell him what I'm feeling and why

In the past, I've not been able to express my anger at the moment. Instead, I have written emails expressing my anger, and then will process it with the therapist in the next session. Most of the times that this has happened, I've still been angry at the therapist in the next session. I tend to harbor emotions for a while.

I focus more on anxiety when I talk to theM. I'm not an angry type.

I don't. I avoid anger.

I agree. Avoiding anger is best.

I don't think I've ever been angry at a T. Disappointed, sure...but angry, no. I've had T's tell me that it would be okay and even welcomed if I was angry at them, but I don't see how they could anger me.