[justbreathe1994]

Hi all, I have written a letter to ex T and was wondering if anyone who knows my history and how the relationship ended would be willing to read it if I PM it to you? I don’t know if I want to post it here.

Caring vibes to you all

[Brown Owl 2]

I remember you talking about what happened (I deleted my old account and re-joined), and I had strong feelings about your T’s actions, and posted my thoughts at the time. I’m happy for you to PM me, though I will probably think it’s unlikely to be helpful to send an email to her because I think that some T’s just don’t fully understand or care about the power of the therapy relationship.

[ScarletPimpernel]

If I'm remembering your situation correctly, are you sure it's a wise decision to send her anything? Might she consider it stalking? Or harassing? I apologize if I have you mixed up with someone else, but if not, I don't think sending your ex-T anything is wise.

[justbreathe1994]

Hi Scarlett,
You have the right person. I appreciate your concern about what my ex T would think about the letter but I do not know if I am actually going to send it. I was simply asking for someone to read it, not whether sending it was wise or not. Also, I have done a lot of work around letting go of the shame of my attachment and my behaviors, so being told that she might see that as stalking or harassing is a major trigger for me. She has told me that does not see me that way. I own my part but I will also acknowledge hers, which is the only reason I am considering the letter in the first place.

When I first talked about what my ex T did and the ways in which she hurt me, you disagreed. You did not believe them to be unethical and that's fine. I am currently studying to become a clinical psychologist and have talked to numerous mental health professionals who have heard the details of the relationship - they know everything and are appalled by her behavior. I am not saying this to prove a point, but it has taken me a long to time to recover from that relationship and it's extremely difficult for me to be blamed for the pain that ensued as a result.

Thank you.

[ScarletPimpernel]

JustBreathe,
I don't think I ever said that your relationship with ex-T was ethical or appropriate. I did, however, push for you to take responsibility of your actions/your role. I had/have to take responsibility for my role when my ex-T left me too.

I'm glad you're working on yourself and are able to process what happened with ex-T. I don't want you to suffer. I don't think that's right. Which is why I raised a concern about writing her.

I have written my ex-T several times, but through T. T would email/mail them. Maybe your T can do the same. Maybe you'll get a better reception that way too.

In the end, I wasn't trying to guilt or shame you. I was just feeling protective of YOU. I could careless about your ex-T's feelings honestly, so long as it doesn't hurt YOU.

Whatever you choose to do, I ask that you please think of all the scenarios and how you might feel. And then do what's best for you.

[sarahsweets]

Hey @justbreathe1994 any chance you might share a brief recount so I can get a grasp of what happened?