Couch 223: Jan 4: Darn Tootin'!

Session with R was just a lot of crying and talking about my suicidal feelings. Not much about our rupture. He said he was worried about me.

I said I wanted to ask for another session. He said he thought that was a good idea. So I took a provisional slot on thursday said if I changed my mind I would let him know.

Hugs, Lemon. Did it help at all to get those thoughts/feelings out?

Crying did help though I did a lot of that on my own today.

HUGS Lemoncake

I'm feeling a bit better physically today. I still feel emotionally overwhelmed. Hopeless. Helpless etc. But physically I don't feel as drained. I think some of the withdrawal is complete. My Dad thinks I should call the pharmacy today but I am really not looking forward to another conversation with the pharmacist and Pdoc isn't in the office until tomorrow so I think I will call tomorrow and find out the status. Supposedly the pharmacy will call me if they get the medicine in but I don't count on them to do that. I'm a little tired but not ridiculously so. (As I yawn as I said that.) And my focus and recall is a little better than yesterday. I remembered two reports I forgot to do yesterday and did them straight away this morning. I am looking forward to my three day weekend this coming weekend. I took Monday off of work. I have a busy Saturday. Sunday is always busy with Church so that will leave me Monday to chill and relax. I am thinking a Vera binge-a-thon. I'm still yawning a lot but I don't feel as shaky. I just need to drink plenty of caffeine. I think I will go get some coffee.

And of course when I'd just assumed I wouldn't hear from him before session, Dr. T just replied with "confirming receipt of this email" with a smiley emoji (he doesn't use those very often, either).

Glad you heard from Dr. T, LT!

Woke up at 4 am, could not get back to sleep. Ate breakfast, did some work, went back to sleep. Up again now and check email. Info can't find my check, though she said she had it last time she wrote. And no, she hasn't cashed it. And yes, she mentioned her husband's death.

I don't think she's in the mood to work and I'm not in the mood to deal with her in a grieving widow state (I've got two meetings between now and session time, one of which I have to chair).

Also I may have replied and told her the check hasn't been cashed, she said she had it, and is she really sure she should be back at work if life is still chaos. (I didn't say the last five words. I did say it was OK if she wasn't.)

Not good!

ETA: and given I want to talk about the animals and feeling abandoned and grieving and how to deal with that, this might not be a good session for her either.

Given how I hate disorganization, including my own, and Info was knocking up against those standards at her best, this may be a huge mistake.

HUGS for you @@

I have never figured out the trigger thing (and don't have an urge to learn) but this is about western med and death (not suicide). So warned




I do not have the patience to deal with western medicine and its inefficient, soulless providers/system. I tried again. It has actually managed to get worse in the 4 years since my person's death.
I have concluded (again) that I would prefer to deal with the annoyances and wait to just be dead rather than submit to them. Death and taxes.

Unlike the woman I hired, I am consistent.

Well, Info seems to have taken my email as looking out for her welfare. That's what not mentioning chaos and judicious use of paragraphing can do for you.

SD, i take it that means you have not received a satisfactory response to your attempts to get assistance in dealing with your health issue. I am sorry to hear this. Let me know if i can be of any use. You know i love to play dr google.

Are you still planning to see her for your scheduled session?

i talked to my supervisor this morning about physical therapy and she approved using flex time if i need to, as long as I still work the required amount of hours/overtime hours she doesn't care how I divide up my day. i had not previously been aware that same-day flex time was available in january, i somehow mistakenly thought it was not. so this is a good thing.

Great news!

We were supposed to have our work reviews yesterday but that didn't happen. I guess we are going to have them "whenever." I think this happened last year. Where we were told it was going to happen on x date and then it ended up being like 3 weeks later. Ugh. #stressful!

Yes...goodness knows how this will go.

I now have to write an email to a student explaining that if the reading is "Smith, Chapter 5," Smith is the author, not the chapter title...

Wow. You'd think that would be obvious.

I have been dealing with salutation issues with students who are writing me before classes start next week.
I had one begin: " So Jane (this is illustrative -not my real name), I am going to miss your first class so can I meet with you on Fri (before classes start) and you can just tell me what I need to know"

My response to this was rewritten several time and reviewed by a colleague before I responded. I have to first write a few that are mostly "WTF have you lost your little mind dude?"
The final version was more formal

I am pretty sure I will have to put in an order for leeches and Sarsaparilla and then watch Bonanza (or was it the lone ranger you are attached to) for how to use them