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Default Jan 05, 2021 at 01:05 PM
  #41
I feel so sad today. Something about the gray sky and the temperature is taking me back mentally to another unhappy time.
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Default Jan 05, 2021 at 01:08 PM
  #42
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Oh, I love this song and was just listening to it the other day! I actually got to interview Dar Williams (over the phone) for my college newspaper...uh, like 22 years ago. She was very friendly and complimented me on the questions I asked.
Oh wow did you really?! That’s so cool!!!
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Default Jan 05, 2021 at 01:15 PM
  #43
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HUGS Artie. In my experience, anxiety isn't always very logical. I hope L can see you Friday.

Thanks Kit. That's a good point, it certainly isn't always logical is it. And yep, we are scheduled for Friday at 1pm. Just that brief little bit of scheduling texts calmed me down. It's been almost a month since I saw her last.
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Default Jan 05, 2021 at 01:22 PM
  #44
Kit, I think it'll be less worry and stress if you just tell your pdoc what's been going on and how you're doing now. Then he can do the heavy lifting of being a psychiatrist and figuring out what he can do to help.

I also don't think you have to be in crisis to deserve help. It's the work you do when you're feeling better that helps keep you away from being in crisis as often or as intensely. It's a little counterintuitive, but it's true. Kind of like exercising a muscle to make it stronger after you've fully healed from an injury.
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Default Jan 05, 2021 at 01:23 PM
  #45
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Default Jan 05, 2021 at 01:25 PM
  #46
Chihiro, you're making me want to revisit college. Maybe I'll throw in some Ani DiFranco too?

My session with Amy was kind of intense this morning. She keeps making me pause and feel my feelings and stuff when I get upset. It's helpful, but I kind of hate it. She keeps planning to teach me about Opposite Action and I keep steering us off course with topics that feel more pressing. It's becoming like running joke that she never actually gets around to talking about it.
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Default Jan 05, 2021 at 01:43 PM
  #47
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Originally Posted by NP_Complete View Post
I feel so sad today. Something about the gray sky and the temperature is taking me back mentally to another unhappy time.


Hugs, NP.
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Default Jan 05, 2021 at 02:22 PM
  #48
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Kit, I think it'll be less worry and stress if you just tell your pdoc what's been going on and how you're doing now. Then he can do the heavy lifting of being a psychiatrist and figuring out what he can do to help.

I also don't think you have to be in crisis to deserve help. It's the work you do when you're feeling better that helps keep you away from being in crisis as often or as intensely. It's a little counterintuitive, but it's true. Kind of like exercising a muscle to make it stronger after you've fully healed from an injury.
Yes, you make good sense.


I always want to tell him how I have been but I always feel like it is hard to tell him because if I am not experiencing it in the moment, it's hard to recall it precisely. It's also weird but I know how much he likes me (platonically) and I don't want to let him down. That's always in the back of my head. But I think it will be good to tell him about the demon that was bothering me last week and see if he can help me with it. I need to write some things down to tell him so I don't let the appointment slip away without mentioning them. I feel like this is a crucial appointment for some reason and I'm stressing about it more than usual. I hope that is my resolve to be more honest with him and not just tell him everything has been fine even if things are fine the day of the appointment.


Thanks for your words of support.

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Default Jan 05, 2021 at 02:24 PM
  #49
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I feel so sad today. Something about the gray sky and the temperature is taking me back mentally to another unhappy time.
I'm sorry you are feeling so sad. Sometimes it helps me to just feel the sadness so I'll put on a sad movie and then just "cry it out" but sometimes it helps me to do something else. Maybe something nice for myself. Change the mood a bit. Maybe one of those options will appeal to you. Hope you feel better soon.

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Default Jan 05, 2021 at 02:36 PM
  #50
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She keeps planning to teach me about Opposite Action and I keep steering us off course with topics that feel more pressing. It's becoming like running joke that she never actually gets around to talking about it.
Sounds like the student has already surpassed the master in opposite action.

I am becoming increasingly dubious about returning to the classroom this spring. The school’s technology is worse than I thought—basically some of the tech people have faken to telling faculty NOT to use the classroom equipment, just bring in a laptop and teach that way. You know, like we can do from home.

Oh, and then there’s the pandemic.

Has anyone noticed that if you say 2021 aloud it sounds like “2020 won”?
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Default Jan 05, 2021 at 03:07 PM
  #51
I wrote down a few notes and then faxed them to my pdoc's office. That way ahem, we have to talk about them. I know there's a lack of privacy there but I don't really care. He has one receptionist who has met me exactly one time and wouldn't remember me I'm sure and a therapist who is also his wife. Well I think they are married, he calls her his sweetie normally but I think once he said she is is wife. Although she must use her maiden name as her professional name because it's different than his or she just didn't take his last name. I've met her exactly once and I'm sure that she wouldn't remember me either. I tried in the note to explain about the demon bothering me last week and that Pastor T thinks it is a hallucination or delusion (he didn't say which he just said, not real) and annoyingly so said that I was using that to make excuses for wanting to hurt myself. Nope. Was not. Those were not my thoughts! They might have been in my head but they were not my thoughts. So when Pdoc gets to the office tomorrow he will have the fax waiting for him and I'll have a copy of the fax to refer to it in case he didn't get it for some reason and we will be able to discuss it. Hopefully it makes sense written down. Thanks for all the support couchies! Kit

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Default Jan 05, 2021 at 03:09 PM
  #52
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Has anyone noticed that if you say 2021 aloud it sounds like “2020 won”?


8 characters

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Default Jan 05, 2021 at 04:42 PM
  #53
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Has anyone noticed that if you say 2021 aloud it sounds like “2020 won”?
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8 characters


double !

(er, I mean )
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Default Jan 05, 2021 at 04:47 PM
  #54
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Sounds like the student has already surpassed the master in opposite action.


I am becoming increasingly dubious about returning to the classroom this spring. The school’s technology is worse than I thought—basically some of the tech people have faken to telling faculty NOT to use the classroom equipment, just bring in a laptop and teach that way. You know, like we can do from home.


Oh, and then there’s the pandemic.


Has anyone noticed that if you say 2021 aloud it sounds like “2020 won”?
My coworker called it "2020: The Sequel" and I can't forget it.
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Default Jan 05, 2021 at 05:10 PM
  #55
Then of course there is 2022 which sounds like twenty-twenty-too!

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Default Jan 05, 2021 at 07:11 PM
  #56
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Thanks LT! I'm hoping I can do PT, and not have to have surgery. My h had a torn labrum (sp?) a long time ago, that he had to have surgery on I guess that's why I'm worried about surgery. But of course I don't know what is wrong with mine. Probably something different because it hurts in a different place than his did.



Thanks Lemon, I appreciate that. I think my shoulder has been messed up since I fell in April of 2019 just before having that appendix surgery - but it only bothered me infrequently until this past semester's class; I had been using my laptop in our office/spare bedroom sitting on the couch with my laptop on the coffee table, and I guess because of being on my laptop so much during that class, and having to use the mouse a lot with my arm stretched out in front of me to reach it, is what did it. That's my thought anyway. Like it's some kind of repetative-use injury or something. I dunno. I've since moved my laptop into the kitchen and it's better in here. Anyways I'm hoping they'll have me try PT first. We shall see....
My husband had shoulder surgery this past summer. It went extremely well. There was no way for him to not have it. PT did nothing and it was getting so bad he could not move his arm much and was in constant pain, and now he is doing great. Even his surgeon said the results are better than expected. It was so worth it
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Default Jan 05, 2021 at 08:06 PM
  #57
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My shoulder woke up me up at like 3:30am so I decided to just get up and take a hot shower and then start work an hour earlier than usual so I can hopefully get off an hour earlier. I have a dr appt a week from friday to get it looked at and get the orders for an xray or whatever they will want to do. Something is torn in there I think, but who knows. I'm of course hoping I'm wrong and that I won't have to have surgery. Not the time for an elective-type surgery which I'm sure this would be considered since I can still function and it's not life-threatening. If it keeps getting worse though I'll have to drag the reclining patio chair in the house again and sleep in in that, it's the only way I can sleep on my back and not roll over on my side. Ok time to go to work. Later couchies.

Could it be your rotator cuff? I tore mine once and the pain was absolutely miserable. I ended up doing a year of intense physical therapy (at the clinic and at home), so avoided surgery.

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Default Jan 05, 2021 at 10:04 PM
  #58
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Could it be your rotator cuff? I tore mine once and the pain was absolutely miserable. I ended up doing a year of intense physical therapy (at the clinic and at home), so avoided surgery.

That's my guess, based on how my pain is different from what h had with a torn labrum. but I'm not sure. I'll find out soon hopefully!

Where was the pain centered? Mine is kind of in the front of my shoulder but feels deep.
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Default Jan 05, 2021 at 10:09 PM
  #59
Watching Nanny 911. These are reruns from 10 or 20 years ago. Boy my sensitivity towards the married white male parent has um increased. So like ive seen these guys before, right, but now they REALLY get on my nerves. Um i mean i have much higher expectations of them based on my current relationships with the wonderful enlightened gentlemen of my environment today.
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Default Jan 06, 2021 at 03:07 AM
  #60
Aaaand I'm up again. Bleh.

I'm thinking of watching the movie "White Lie." Has anyone seen it?
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