Couch 223: Jan 4: Darn Tootin'!

Sorry for not understanding and making a joke about bribing them, but I didn't know this extra detail. It might be good for mom, but it's still hard for you and the loss of them in your life is real. Their loss is grief and will take time to adjust.

My retake exam is around 8 days away.I had an anxiety attack at 11.30pm - ish and messaged R asking if he had any slots open for today. I'm hoping he won't have anything free.

I loved the howling howling howling.

I have a new amazon prime pbs favorite. Its an italian female columbo basically, thou shalt not kill. Or maybe more like whatever jennifer garner was, she kinda looks like her. Subtitles but i do love hearing the italian.

Oh, insomnia. I don't know if it's technically that actually when it's also my shoulder keeping me awake. I can't sleep so I got up and did the dishes that I didn't feel like doing last night before I went to bed, and now I'm here to try to keep myself from laying in bed and ruminating. At least today won't be a hard day at work, unless they make us go on the phones. I'm supposed to be in live chat this week, but chat is closed today because it's technically a company holiday (MLK day). Yet seeing how this particular "company holiday" falls in January, everyone has to work anyway, but we do get paid holiday pay for working, so it's okay. Except my shoulder hurts. I think all that moving around of my arm on Friday morning the dr made me do is why. I imagine that physical therapy is going to be painful, but probably not as painful as recovering from surgery would be, so I still hope to be able to avoid surgery. dr said i can take ibuprofen for the pain but only every other day and I took some last night so I could go to sleep, so I guess it's off limits today. eh, I'm tough. Ha.

I'm going to therapy Friday, but I have decided I'm going to ask her what possessed her to kick my *** like she did last week. I hated that word "possessed" when she used it at me that one time, so it will feel good to use it at her. I'm not mad anymore though. I mean she was probably right to do it after all. But I still want to know why she decided it was the right time to do so.

....and here I go ruminating anyway. ha!

We had a fun family zoom call yesterday. One of my sisters wrote up a list of questions about our Mom's life, and we're taking turns trying to answer them, and then our Mom says who if anyone is right and answers them herself. It's kinda fun getting to know her a little better, although I'm doing pretty good as far as already knowing most of the answers. My other sister, the one that lives next door to her, is winning, which only makes sense as they have the closest relationship both ways (living next door to each other when the rest of us live out of town) and they get along the best.

OK I've yammered enough and I just yawned a little so I guess I'll try going back to sleep. Maybe I'll be able to dream-travel somewhere again. That was really exciting dream-traveling to Norway Saturday night. I'd like to do that again!

Sending hugs, sparkles, and happy thoughts to those who want.

Was it Alias that Garner was in?

Hope you managed to get back to sleep.

Are you allowed to use a hot water bottle for the pain?

thanks Lemon. I must have, since it felt like the alarm woke me up. I didn't even ask the dr but I have been using a heating pad thing (a sock filled with rice heated up in the microwave) and that helps some.

I do have to say one thing, it was really nice going into the kitchen just now and seeing the empty sink heehee! waiting for my tea now and then gotta log onto work.

Yep, I never really watched it, but my former roommate did while I lived with her.

You don’t have to apologize—I thought you were trying to cheer me up, Una-style.

Anyone have suggestions for Switch games that you can play with two people and only one console? The BF would like to play with me but I don't think I currently have any games we can both play (except Overcooked, and that one just stresses me out!).

On morning break. I just looked at my facebook feed and it's like a breath of fresh air on there after blocking that one last person I needed to last night. I guess I did not realize just how immediately I would feel the effect of setting a boundary that way. I will miss my friend, but tbh she's become someone I don't really know anyway, so it's like the person I loved like a sister no longer exists anyway. I will hold onto my memories of our friendship of the past.

I know some (maybe all?) of the Mario ones you can (we got one for D but haven't played it yet).

Thanks! I kept thinking Alien but i knew that wasnt right.

I almost just fell off of my chair. H just said he is bored with watching tv. And it only took 9 months. I told him to go to the library to explore the strange new world of books. He was not amused.

@@ I'm sorry you had to leave new cat and lone dog behind. It is really hard to lose a pet, much moreso two! And even though you did what was best for them, and maybe what is best for your mom, it still stinks for you. Especially when you were close with them. I'd be downright distraught if I lost Amelia or Esther. Or had to leave them behind. Like if I ever set out on my own and get my own place, if I am ever well enough to, I'd probably have to leave my babies behind both because a lot of apartments don't take animals and two, it's their home. I hope you can do some nice things for yourself. I know for me it takes time to get a new pet because I have to grieve the loss of the other ones. But I hope in time you will be able to get a new pet and be happy. HUGS Kit

I stopped taking my ADHD medication this weekend since my pharmacy can't get it. I was planning to take it today but I thought it best not to mess up my system by taking it, not taking it, taking it, not taking it. I'm super tired without it but it's not even like I can sleep. I couldn't sleep this weekend during the day even though I tried, and now I can't sleep during the day because I'm at work. My brain feels scattered and slow. I'm definitely used to having the stimulant in me and not having it stinks big time. I have 8 pills left but I can't bring myself to take them because once I do then I will have none left and I don't want to be in that position. But I'm tired and I can't think properly and I'm kind of in a bad mood without the stimulant. And I'm headachey. Not sure if that is because of not having the stimulant but it seems to correspond.

Today's music snippet: Reflecting Light

Would taking half doses help? I know that doesn’t work with all meds.

Thanks for the suggestion. Unfortunately it is a capsule so it can't be cut in half. If I can get some 30 mgs from my pharmacy at the end of this week I'll take those instead of taking 60mgs. Then I would have a little bit of the med longer. I need a better long term plan but my pharmacist told me not to get my hopes up that they will get the med in.

Slumber, I am so confounded by your medicine issue. I also use CVS and in instances where my "home" pharmacy didn't have enough to fill my prescription, they've always been able to help me find a pharmacy that had the medicine in stock and would transfer the prescription. I would just urge you to try to find a solution instead of stopping the medicine cold turkey.