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Member
Member Since Sep 2020
Location: Scotland
Posts: 148
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#1
I’m guessing that my T is blissfully oblivious to the pain I feel at the ending of my therapy. I have imagined that if, when we die, we are able to see any pain that we have caused to other people in our lives, then she would see it. I would like that to happen as I want her to know it, and see and own her part in it. I want her to be shocked and horrified and remorseful. Actually I want her to know her part in it now and feel that now and make amends to me now. But I suppose if that process were to happen on our death, then I would also see that I had caused pain to a lot of people in the course of my life. I’ve trawled mentally (and remorsefully) through my life guessing who those people might have been. That thought has made me feel a bit better for some reason. Maybe it’s the reflection that we are all fallible humans bumbling our way through life.
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*Beth*, Fuzzybear, LonesomeTonight, ScarletPimpernel, Taylor27, Yaowen
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Yaowen
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jan 2020
Location: USA
Posts: 3,618
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#2
Dear Brown Owl 2,
As someone who is bumbling through life, I can definitely relate to what you wrote. We human beings are such a complex mixture of contrary thoughts and feelings. I am no stranger to being hurt, to wanting revenge, to wanting to be merciful, to seeing the narrow view, to seeing the wide view. We human beings are so mysterious. I wish I could say something that would be helpful to you, but sadly I am at a loss. Sometimes when we want to say something helpful to someone who is hurting, the words just won't come. So sorry! Sincerely yours, Yao Wen Sincerely yours, Yao Wen |
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Fuzzybear, LonesomeTonight
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Brown Owl 2
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Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
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#3
Hugs, I'm sorry... I was really broken about the end of my therapy with my former marriage counselor. He allowed me to continue contact on occasion, so I emailed him a half-dozen times in the year after ending to help process it. Which helped. Now I haven't emailed him in nearly a year (checked in on him near start of pandemic). No idea if your ex-T would allow this, but even typing up/writing what you'd like to say to her could potentially help. Even if you don't ever send it.
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Brown Owl 2
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Member
Member Since Sep 2020
Location: Scotland
Posts: 148
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#4
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Member
Member Since Sep 2020
Location: Scotland
Posts: 148
3 9 hugs
given |
#5
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Fuzzybear, LonesomeTonight
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Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 20,768
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#6
Quote:
Honestly, a clean break is probably better. I think it drew things out too long with ex-MC that he let me still communicate (and presumably still would, I just no long have the desire/need to). With ex-T, I just told her at the end of session that I was going to try out a different T, probably just for a couple months, then come back to her. Or if I decided to stay with him, I'd at least go back to her for a termination session. Yeah, I stayed with the new T (now been seeing him over 3 years) and never went back. I realized that going back would be for her, not me, and that's not who I'm doing therapy for. |
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Fuzzybear, Lemoncake
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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
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#7
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It's great to read that you have a new therapist who is the antithesis of this. __________________ |
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LonesomeTonight
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