[0Smile0]

I am having a hard time finding a new therapist and will be moving on from my old one. I have sent an enquiry to a therapist that already sees one of my friends.

The only issue I can forsee from this is that i am unlikely bring that person up but we do share the same frienship group and I do have issues with their partner a fair bit so I am likely to bring them up. I will also likely be talking about the same people they talk about because the main issue I want to work on is relationships.

Does anyone have any experience in this- i know there are also practicing therapists on this site so would be useful to get your input.

[Gettingitsoon]

Not a therapist.
This wouldnt work for me.
I would probably feel reluctant to get into anything that might involve the friend or even the extended group of friends.

I see a therapist that probably sees quite a few others from my (very large) workplace. Over several years, Ive dug into alot of work issues. Shes never let on that people have overlappped. So, Im OK with it.
I did mention at one point that a rather close coworker was searching for a therapist.
She clearly stated it wasnt a good idea and suggested I not pass her name to the coworker.. That felt good to me.

Maybe youd be fine with this situation. Just something to think through. Good luck.

[unaluna]

Dont do it. Its not a matter of who you talk about about in session.

Its more about - its like asking your friends mother to adopt you.

[Lostislost]

They can't let on that they see anyone else because of confidentiality so that shouldn't be a problem. This was an issue for me.

A really close friend of mine started seeing my therapist about a year after I started. Then my friend became very mean towards me (assaulted me, became very manipulative), I had to take that to therapy. I became frustrated that my T wouldn't acknowledge my friends behaviour, because he must have known about it. Why wasn't he telling my friend to stop hurting me? Why didn't he get rid of my friend? Why did he believe my friends fake suicide attempt and tell me off for saying it was fake...when I was there with him watching!!

It made a lot of things complicated...but I was in difficult circumstances.

[zoiecat]

I would tell them the situation up front. They may not want to work with you due to already seeing your friend. Some T will consider it unethical.

What appeals to you about creating tensions in this way? This therapy relationship would be loaded before it had already begun. I would be interested in why I wanted to enter into a conflicted dynamic.

[Rive.]

Not exactly the same situation as you but I use descriptives so as not to name the people in question. So, they are not identifiable in a way.

Except, if your T knows about you and your friend, T might figure it out.

[ArtleyWilkins]

Sort of depends on what you use therapy for I guess. I pretty much never talked about friends in therapy because they weren't why I was there, so it wouldn't have made a bit of difference.

My husband and I saw the same therapist quite a few years, and even that wasn't an issue. Our therapy was about us as individuals - our personal family histories, our individual struggles, etc. On a few occasions we CHOSE to meet together with the therapist when we had our own relationship issues to discuss, but otherwise, I found it entirely possible to work well that way. Therapist was quite good at maintaining boundaries and never discussed what the other talked about (and we didn't ask because we respected each other's therapy process). We both made strong individual progress (and progress as a couple).

At one point, I remember it became obvious that my therapist was actually seeing a couple of my students (we ran into each other). Therapist handled it quite well, and it was a complete non-issue with those students.

Sometimes you are in a town where the therapy choices are limited, and you have to find ways to make things work. Not everyone is in an area or situation where there are a huge number of options. That is sort of the case in my town, with our insurance limitations. You do what you have to do under those circumstances.

If you like the therapist, they will be able to maintain therapy boundaries. Like you said, it is unlikely you would be discussing friends in therapy.

[Taylor27]

My therapist has really good boundaries so it would not effect my therapy if one of my friends saw her. It doesn't bother me because I'm there to focus on myself. I hardly ever talk about my friends in therapy unless I need help in that area, which hardly ever comes up for me.

[Quietmind 2]

It mattered to me but my friend and myself only discovered we saw the same therapist more than a year after my friend started seeing her. We told our T and T made a rule that we can't talk about each other to her.

[Flinders40]

Recipe for disaster. There’s got to be another shrink out there.