How Did You Know You Trusted Your T?

KLL85 · Jan 10, 2021 at 11:39 AM

For those that struggle with trust issues, how did you know when you felt safe with your T and could trust them? I’ve realised that I don’t know what trust and safety feels like because I’ve never experienced it. I don’t know what compassion and validation feels like, so I don’t think I recognise it unless it is explicitly obvious, so often I don’t feel like my T is giving it to me.
What don these kinds of things feel and look like for you?

East17 · Jan 10, 2021 at 11:59 AM

I think trust is something that builds up slowly. It's not a case of one day you don't trust and the next you do, it's a gradual process.

I've been with current therapist for 10 months now and am only just starting to relax slightly more. I have trusted her with some stuff and there's a lot I haven't been able to disclose yet, so I feel it happens in degrees, it's not an all or nothing thing, at least for me.

Lostislost · Jan 10, 2021 at 12:31 PM

For me, when I chose him as my therapist is when I decided to trust him. Usually I find it extremely hard to trust people in any way.

I didn't understand what therapy really was, and how deep it would go, but I knew I had to take a leap of faith and put my trust in someone to help me before things got any worse.

It took me a long time to tell him a lot of big things, but that wasn't because I didn't trust him.. I just didn't have access to those parts of myself yet because they were buried for so long.

nottrustin · Jan 10, 2021 at 01:02 PM

For me trust is always a work in progress with my therapists. It comes in stages and has different levels. Things will happen and I will feel safe opening up to her about certain topics. Then something will come up and we will need to back up bit and work on trust building for a bit. Then we can move forward.

Mountaindewed · Jan 10, 2021 at 01:26 PM

I tell her super private things that no one else knows. Not even my mom. And she is so cool about it. So yeah I guess I trust her quite a bit. Although she’s notorious for blabbing stuff I tell her to my Pdoc. So I do have to be careful sometimes with what I say.

KLL85 · Jan 10, 2021 at 01:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nottrustin

For me trust is always a work in progress with my therapists. It comes in stages and has different levels. Things will happen and I will feel safe opening up to her about certain topics. Then something will come up and we will need to back up bit and work on trust building for a bit. Then we can move forward.

How do you work on the trust? What do you do to help build it back up again?

nottrustin · Jan 10, 2021 at 04:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KLL85

How do you work on the trust? What do you do to help build it back up again?

It depends on the situation. Nearer the beginning of our working together I told her we were moving too fast andI needed to back up and work on building trust. That time it entailed getting to know her each other better and building a relationshi. Other times, it has been backing up and discussing some of thr things that are bothering me or causing my wall to be up. So in short co.mu imaging what is going on and what I need. She is very understanding and patiently works with my needs.

SlumberKitty · Jan 11, 2021 at 11:30 AM

With current T, we "clicked" pretty early on. I opened up with her and discussed stuff with her pretty easily. She's non-judgemental so that helps. She isn't easily overwhelmed by stuff I tell her. She's a little bit more no nonsense than former T but I took longer to trust former T....a couple of months. With current T it was within a couple of sessions.

Jan 11, 2021 at 01:42 PM

I just knew I trusted my T when I told him things I hadn't spoken of before. The ability to share those things was when I just knew I trusted him. That was until we moved to another stage. It's so new to me and I hope to learn to trust us here in this emerging space.

It would be easier if all the trust was behind door A.

emmaleemochizuki · Jan 11, 2021 at 01:49 PM

I guess I know I do when I start talking about certain things I never ever talked about to anyone.

It took at least a year from when I started seeing her to when I felt like I can trust her.

But I did know from that start that she is someone I can potentially trust. Whereas other times, after the first few sessions if I feel like he/she is not someone I would potentially trust I won't carry on with them.

I guess it's just a feeling, you know it when you do.

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nottrustin Grand Magnate Member Since Jan 2014 Location: n/a Posts: 4,819 10 375 hugs given	Jan 10, 2021 at 01:02 PM #4 For me trust is always a work in progress with my therapists. It comes in stages and has different levels. Things will happen and I will feel safe opening up to her about certain topics. Then something will come up and we will need to back up bit and work on trust building for a bit. Then we can move forward. __________________
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Mountaindewed Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2016 Location: Where the sidewalk ends Posts: 36,125 (SuperPoster!) 7 8,737 hugs given	Jan 10, 2021 at 01:26 PM #5 I tell her super private things that no one else knows. Not even my mom. And she is so cool about it. So yeah I guess I trust her quite a bit. Although she’s notorious for blabbing stuff I tell her to my Pdoc. So I do have to be careful sometimes with what I say. __________________ Ridin' with Biden
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Anonymous46689 Guest Posts: n/a	Jan 11, 2021 at 01:42 PM #9 I just knew I trusted my T when I told him things I hadn't spoken of before. The ability to share those things was when I just knew I trusted him. That was until we moved to another stage. It's so new to me and I hope to learn to trust us here in this emerging space. It would be easier if all the trust was behind door A.
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