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Brown Owl 2
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Default Jan 16, 2021 at 08:16 AM
  #1
I’ve observed different types or responses T’s give in a session, they seem to roughly fall into these categories: (there are probably others I haven’t thought of)

1.An empathetic, soothing or comforting response
2.An analytical response, maybe explaining a link to your childhood.
3. Summarising what you have to them.
4. Self disclosure.
5. Asking where in your body you are feeling emotions
6. Silence
7. Challenging you/ giving a different opinion
8. Asking a question - seeking to understand you more.
9. Asking a question - with the aim of helping you to understand something/ see a link.
9. Advice giving.
10. Giving positive feedback.

My ex-T generally responded to me with
2. Analysis (Sometimes long explanations)
1. Empathy
5. Asking where I felt it on my body. (Her stock response).

Some of the analysis was helpful as it showed she understood, but I don’t think that was her purpose in doing it. I think I would have found the body questions more helpful if they had been more like a kind of empathic response of ‘are you feeling these emotions anywhere in your body’, rather than an educational one.

In the last few weeks she changed to being challenging/ giving me a different opinion. I wish she had focused on 8 ( seeking to understand) and 1.(empathy).

I wonder what other people find most helpful?

Last edited by Brown Owl 2; Jan 16, 2021 at 10:26 AM..
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Default Jan 16, 2021 at 09:10 AM
  #2
Most of what you said, I felt too. Generally and ultimately what i found most helpful was my own efforts to help my issue. The t I’m seeing now has been most helpful than of those past. He encourages me to be more kind and positive. I’ve been doing that and it is helping the interpersonal relationships.

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Default Jan 16, 2021 at 09:52 AM
  #3
I have the same experience with responses from my T. I hate the silence one the most, because it always feels like he is judging me. I don't like 'where do you feel that in your body' because I don't know and feel stupid so just make up an answer.

I would prefer an imaginative, playful response... preferably with humour. I find it much easier to explore myself in this way. It was years before I even saw my T smile, though.
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Default Jan 16, 2021 at 10:27 AM
  #4
I’ve edited it to add:
10. Giving positive feedback.
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Default Jan 16, 2021 at 10:43 AM
  #5
-- Kind of along with where in the body do you feel... is How old do you feel?

That one might have more to do with how I describe things to her, so she's picked up the thread. I often have a better sense of how old I feel in the given moment/interaction than lots of other things. I sometimes can notice where in my body but not usually.

--Acknowledging or commenting on a change in my body/positioning or an action.

This one is hit or miss for me - mostly I think it's a miss.

Silence is an interesting one, there's a few times it feels like judgement or something bad like that. Most the time it is good for me. I need things to be slowed down so I can keep a vocabulary available otherwise it gets too overwhelming and there become no words - in my head or able to come out my mouth.
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Default Jan 16, 2021 at 10:47 AM
  #6
The woman I hired was more into mocking and setting traps to humiliate and the insulting one where they tell you that everyone does X so it doesn't matter.

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Default Jan 16, 2021 at 05:56 PM
  #7
My therapists used all of those probably at some point or other. I don't respond well to silence, so they didn't go there very often. The "where in the body" questions were also pretty prone to setting me into dissociation, so they didn't go there often either - just created more issues than helping for me. I'm pretty analytical, so I liked that approach along with challenging and questioning. Those approaches kept me more present and created much more of a dialogue between us which was helpful for me. I liked a therapist who challenged me to to think and analyze and make connections.
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Default Jan 16, 2021 at 07:03 PM
  #8
T has used allow those things. As much as she loves to ask where I feel something in my body or how something feels they fall pretty flat. Silence is not something she uses for very long I suspect because she knows those are the times I am likely to freeze.

If we are talking about topics that tends to bring up trauma and real pain and she gets analytical and talks to long I tend to dissociate.

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