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divine1966
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Default Jan 22, 2021 at 08:52 PM
  #21
You have a great therapist scarlet
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Thanks for this!
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Default Jan 22, 2021 at 09:33 PM
  #22
Had another session with L today. We were supposed to do a behavioral chain analysis of our rupture. I told her that while I know I should process it more, what I really needed was to feel emotionally connected and safe with her. So she set out a new plan for today (we always make a general plan for sessions incase we need it). So today we started with handholding to ground myself and literally feel the connection. We talked about where my anxiety was at, what feelings were present, safety updates. We then just focused on the touch: what emotions I felt, where were our fingers, what it physically felt like, and tried to hold onto those feelings. Then we got up, hugged, and went into her office. We sat on the floor with the ottman between us, and I gave L some treats for my dog. We started updating a chart that shows what happens to me from the start of a trigger all the way to a breakdown. Then we did questions and answers. First question was "what is your opinion about personality tests?". Then I asked what about horoscopes/fortunes/psychics? Then we moved onto intuition. We finished with "I love yous" and reassurances, and then a hug. She let session go over by 35mins. It was exactly what I needed: to connect, relax, engage, relate, and laugh. It was a good reminder of our history and why it's worth the pain. I truly feel better.

Next Tuesday we will do the BCA for the rupture, and then work on coping and grieving reducing our session to once a week in February.

Thank you all for the support. It's so hard to see clearly when you're in the midst of a rupture. Like you can't trust even yourself. I am so grateful to have L. She has helped so much. She combines skills and the relationship in a good mix for me.

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