Intense T

So I just had my first visit with another T. My pdoc would absolutely love her. She won’t treat me if I have a suicide attempt. She won’t treat me if I am on any benzos and I have to do weekly homework or she will drop you. She is going to intensely work on my anxiety which is what my pdoc wants. I am a little scared but all the old stuff didn’t work so I guess trying something new might be better.

wow.....

My first thought was wow....

I probably should not have just said that though so I came back and edited and added the following. It would be scary to me because it seems like a lot of conditions. I saw a T like that once for 4 sessions but ultimately chose not to work with her because she was well, too intense. But maybe it will work for you. Are you used to doing homework and stuff like that? Are you worried about the benzos stipulation and the no suicide attempt stipulation? What about SI? Like just thinking about it? I wonder what the T thinks of that. I hope you will find a T that will be helpful to you, whether it is this one or another one. I hope you get to a really good place. HUGS Kit

How do you feel about this? I would have a problem with a therapist that won't work with someone who makes a suicide attempt, and my therapist doesn't get to dictate what my psychiatrist prescribes . . . but I suppose much depends on whether you feel this kind of control is to your benefit or not. Personally, I'd probably go to blows with someone that controlling. I hope this is what you are looking for and that it helps you focus on your anxiety problems.

That would be very difficult for me to have a therapist that seems to be controling like that. I think it's up to you and your pdoc only about what meds you take. How do you feel about this? I think that is the most important question to ask yourself because it is about you getting help and it's important to have a therapist that works with you and willing to help you with the issues that brought you to therapy. Hugs

So I imagine that you're going to get a lot of people in this thread who feel like that kind of therapist is incredibly negative. At the end of the day, though, what matters is how YOU feel about working with them. Not every therapist is for every client, and that's okay. Studies show that it's the therapeutic alliance that is the best predictor of outcomes. If you feel comfortable working with someone like this, then maybe it'll be good for you. It's unfortunate that we can't predict the future to see how things will work out.

I would run far from this lunatic and never look back. Therapists are not gods and I would not go near one who told me that sort of crap. **** that ****

My T is similar. He has not come out and said he will not work with me after a SU attempt but he does have strict protocol using DBT chain analysis everytime I self harm and another 3 session form we have to go through if SI get really bad. I don't have to do homework but he expects me to practice DBT skills including mindfulness and I have to turn in a diary card noting what skills I used each day and it tracks emotions and drug/alcohol use both prescription and non each day.

He is strict as far as not using any drugs or alcohol except for antidepressant meds to numb out feelings. He also pushes for progress each session. I cannot just gripe about life at the moment unless I am using feeling words and willing to work with him on skills to improve the situation.

While most people here think this is too rigid, he is still patient and caring. He just wants me to get better and feels it would be unethical to see me each week and not work towards progressing forward. I don't like it sometimes but I have to admit that I have made a LOT of progress in the last 3 years. He specialized in trauma, BPD and dissociative disorders so all of his clients usually have a lot of work to do. I have CPTSD and DID and I do not want to be in therapy forever. I am in my 50s and not getting any younger. Personally, I am glad I found someone who wants me to get better as quickly as I can.

I am in therapy to make my life better. I don't need a friend or someone to just talk to each week while continuing to feel miserable.

I don't think it is too rigid - I think it is infantilizing, condescending, and patronizing. If you like it, have at it. I would never give money to be treated like that by someone I employ.

I am going to give her a try because nothing else has worked so all I will do is waste a few weeks. I don’t think answering a survey before and after session is necessary. I mean really are things going to change that much in 45 minutes?

Crook32...my T has me fill out those surveys as well. They are only 4 questions and you click on a line to show how you feel about each topic. Each survey is different. I'm not sure if this is the same system used by your T but for me the first survey is about how I feel based on the prior week and the second survey is rating the therapist during that session. It takes about 15 seconds.

None of that is a sign of a good professional. It basically means "If your problems become too severe I won't deal with you anymore because I don't feel I have the skillset to handle it". It shows an insecure therapist who lacks confidence in their own practice. Not to mention, it's actually dangerous for her to inadvertently punish you for taking a certain medication that might be very beneficial to your journey and it would also be incredibly unethical for her to abandon you during a crisis. It's always up to you who you see but she sounds like a bad egg to me. I can't blame you for trying, though, my area is very dry of good therapists as well.

Dear @Crook32, I can't thank you enough for posting this thread!! I agree with many things being said here, plus I received personal benefit from reading through all of it. Thank you so much!! And I wish you all the best!!