[SarahSweden]

My counselor, who isn´t a therapist, told me at the end of our latest session that her mother-in-law had died, just the day before our session. She didn´t show or say anything during session but when she sat down at her desk afterwards, to print my invitation for next session, she said she wasn´t sure how to schedule me because she needs to prepare for the funeral and similar stuff.

I was surprised and of course I gave her my condolences. As it was at the end of my session we just talked briefly about her mother-in-law and that she really like her. But she didn´t cry or show any sadness, perhaps because she felt that would have been inappropriate, I don´t know.

I appreciate she told me about the death but at the same time it made me feel sad and it brought feelings of loss and loneliness. I would want to be there for my counselor even if I know she has her husband, her children and friends. But it´s a difficult situation as she tells me very personal things and I can´t be part of what happens outside the counseling room.

It makes me feel sad as I don´t have anyone to share those things with or to care about. I don´t have any friends who would care about me if I experinced a loss. It also brought memories of my former therapist who I still miss and think about a lot.

I see it all from an emotional side, it´s not about telling my counselor she shouldn´t share things like this or similar.

[Yaowen]

Dear Sarah Sweden,

I am so sorry that happened to you and about the bind it puts you in. I would hope that if you suffered a loss that the people here on the Forums would try to comfort you. I know I would.

Sincerely yours, Yao Wen

[RoxanneToto]

You sound like a very empathetic person, and I’m sorry this has stirred up such emotions for you that you want to share with a person you’re emotionally close to.

[Favorite Jeans]

I’m sorry. That sounds like a lot of heavy and unexpected feelings to leave a session with.

[SarahSweden]

Thanks Yaowen. How nice of you writing that. Yes, I believe there would be some people here at the forum to support me if something like that happened.

Originally Posted by Yaowen

Dear Sarah Sweden,

I am so sorry that happened to you and about the bind it puts you in. I would hope that if you suffered a loss that the people here on the Forums would try to comfort you. I know I would.

Sincerely yours, Yao Wen

[SarahSweden]

Thanks. Yes, I´m emotionally close to my counselor in a "bad" way as she shares things from her private life that I can´t be part of after session. (And shouldn´t). She isn´t a therapist and we're not doing therapy so she doesn´t have any strict boundaries.

I don´t know what she thinks I´ll do with such an information as knowing her mother-in-law died. It´s very two-sided as I don´t want her to lie and say something like "I´m going for a holiday" when she´s actually attending a funeral but at the same time the information is of no use to me.

I feel a bit dumb in this situation as I can´t do much and my counselor of course doesn´t want me to care for her, like call her or text her after session to ask how she feels.

Originally Posted by RoxanneToto

You sound like a very empathetic person, and I’m sorry this has stirred up such emotions for you that you want to share with a person you’re emotionally close to.

[SlumberKitty]

Something like this happened to me on Saturday. My T told me it was the second anniversary of when her ex-H committed sui. And that she texted her kids (who are grown ups) to make sure they were okay on the anniversary.


WTH was I supposed to do with that information? It had nothing to do with what I was talking about. Though I think she was worried I was thinking about sui. Which I confirmed to her that I wasn't. She just said something like you never know what impact you had on the people you left behind. I was like geez thanks.


I just think sometimes they share things. Maybe they shouldn't. Maybe they should. We are all just humans in this short/long road of life.

[SarahSweden]

As you say your person is actually a T this surprises me a bit but at the same time I know many therapists overshare although they should know better. I´m not condemning anything, I just comment on your situation.

As you say she perhaps thought this information could function as some kind of "warning" if you in some time end up having suicidal thoughts. It´s though not a way to keep someone from suicide, to make them feel guilty or ashamed.

Yes, in the case with my counselor I believe she most of the time just rambles about things that comes to mind. I don´t think she means anything specific by what she talks about or that there´s some purpose behind what she tells me.

Originally Posted by SlumberKitty

Something like this happened to me on Saturday. My T told me it was the second anniversary of when her ex-H committed sui. And that she texted her kids (who are grown ups) to make sure they were okay on the anniversary.


WTH was I supposed to do with that information? It had nothing to do with what I was talking about. Though I think she was worried I was thinking about sui. Which I confirmed to her that I wasn't. She just said something like you never know what impact you had on the people you left behind. I was like geez thanks.


I just think sometimes they share things. Maybe they shouldn't. Maybe they should. We are all just humans in this short/long road of life.