Couch 224: 2day, 2morrow, 4evah!

Daffydungle · Feb 27, 2021 at 05:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lemoncake

I wouldn't have words either.

Maybe art or music therapy would be better?

I have tried to find an art therapist but the only one i can find is in the local private clinic who charges $200 a session. I cant find any that are registered with the Art Therapy accreditation council in my area.

ArtieTheSequal · Feb 27, 2021 at 05:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Daffydungle

When i say 'i dont know' in therapy i really dont know its not that i dont want to say. Or i am ashamed or anything else. When pushed about a feeling my ex T said my response wasnt a feeling just a bunch of sounds but thats the best i could do. Another therapist said the same thing. I REALLY dont have words for a lot of my feelings why dont they understand that.

L has learned over the years that some of the time when I said "I don't know" what I really mean is "I don't want to say". But it's not EVERY time. Sometimes I really don't know. She's somehow decided that it means "I don't want to say" a lot more often than it actually does. I admit though it is also a bit of a crutch for me, I guess I'd call it, because I say it a lot in this manner (for example): "when i was working with that dream it felt like it was telling me that I need to do such-and-such idon'tknow". I do that a lot.

Daffydungle · Feb 27, 2021 at 05:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArtieTheSequal

L has learned over the years that some of the time when I said "I don't know" what I really mean is "I don't want to say". But it's not EVERY time. Sometimes I really don't know. She's somehow decided that it means "I don't want to say" a lot more often than it actually does. I admit though it is also a bit of a crutch for me, I guess I'd call it, because I say it a lot in this manner (for example): "when i was working with that dream it felt like it was telling me that I need to do such-and-such idon'tknow". I do that a lot.

That i dont knmow on the end sound s like my 'so' that i end sentences with when i dont quite know how to end the thought i had.

ArtieTheSequal · Feb 27, 2021 at 05:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lemoncake

Glad you enjoyed it artie bean.

I haven't heard of dream tending before.

29*150 = $4,350. Maybe you could also start a how to knit class online. I'd pay to learn.

I've never been good at teaching - except swimming. I was a good swimming instructor, for some reason. Crochet, I tried to teach my sister but she just got aggravated with me and learned it from a book instead haha. The videos are hard for me to learn from, for crochet/knit unless they have their camera filming it from the same pov as i'd be seeing it while doing it you know? I wish I could remember when my grandma was actually teaching me. I do have memories of us sitting together and crocheting, her in her chair and me on the couch, while my grandpa watched tv in the background. But i can't recall her actually teaching me. Probably because i got frustrated so much. Especially when she'd make me rip out back to my mistakes and do it over. Glad now that she taught me that way, my stuff looks really good because I still just automatically frog and redo whenever I catch a mistake.

stopdog · Feb 27, 2021 at 05:17 PM

I I told the woman I don't know - it was usually more I don't know what question you asked me. I could answer in a 100 ways -so what are you really asking and then I will know how to answer. She usually said she didn't understand and once more we were at stalemate. If I did not want to answer anything, I just said I am not going to answer it. A few times I had to add in that I saw no reason why I would justify my response to her.

ArtieTheSequal · Feb 27, 2021 at 05:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Daffydungle

That i dont knmow on the end sound s like my 'so' that i end sentences with when i dont quite know how to end the thought i had.

L wants me to be more assertive... and my I don't knows are like the opposite of that.

stopdog · Feb 27, 2021 at 05:23 PM

Do you want to be more assertive?

ArtieTheSequal · Feb 27, 2021 at 05:24 PM

I am going to challenge myself this coming week to not say those 3 words at all during my session. If I really do not know an answer to a question I will try to remember to say "I do not have that knowledge" or "I had not thought of it that way" or "I need some time to think about that" or even "I an not aware of that". Y'know, come to think of it, "I don't know" can also mean "I do not agree with you" just because I had confrontation so much. "I don't know" appears to be just about as universal as the "F" word in my mind!

ArtieTheSequal · Feb 27, 2021 at 05:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stopdog

Do you want to be more assertive?

Well yes, I do. In just about all areas of my life. I am happy with my level of assertiveness at work with my boss and my team to where I am able to say no (for instance the other day I was asked if I would volunteer to do a pilot of concurrent chat, and I said a resounding NO!), and am able to make suggestions for things that need to change, etc.

But yes with my h, and with my mom, and in therapy too i would like to be more assertive, definitely.

ArtieTheSequal · Feb 27, 2021 at 05:33 PM

I'm reading a book right now that L suggested called "The Assertiveness Guide for Women: How to Communicate Your Needs, Set Healthy Boundaries, and Transform Your Relationships". I'm not very far into it yet but so far I think it's going to be helpful.

unaluna · Feb 27, 2021 at 05:44 PM

I cancelled my appt. I am having trouble getting a zipcar. Plus really why should i drive so far? Rite aid is still making appts, i will just keep trying there.

ArtieTheSequal · Feb 27, 2021 at 05:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unaluna

I cancelled my appt. I am having trouble getting a zipcar. Plus really why should i drive so far? Rite aid is still making appts, i will just keep trying there.

We've been trying since they opened it up to 65 & over on 2/18 and finally got h an appointment for his first one on Wednesday. I still have no idea when I'll be eligible.

Daffydungle · Feb 27, 2021 at 06:25 PM

Ok the roadtrip has been cancelled as our monsoon rains have settled in the roads have been blocked at several places. A bit relieved

LonesomeTonight · Feb 27, 2021 at 06:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unaluna

I cancelled my appt. I am having trouble getting a zipcar. Plus really why should i drive so far? Rite aid is still making appts, i will just keep trying there.

Not sure if this is everywhere, but I know in my area, Rite Aid tends to release appointments shortly before midnight each night. I ended up in a Vaccine Hunters Facebook group for my state, so learned all the secrets. CVS tends to release appointments in the mornings. I think maybe Walgreens does, too?

stopdog · Feb 27, 2021 at 08:25 PM

I am happily waiting for the 1 shot one. I figure by the time they get to me, I will a choice or I will just wait. There was little chance I was going to remember to get 2 shots. And by remember, I mean I probably just wouldn't have done it

Quietmind 2 · Feb 27, 2021 at 11:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArtieTheSequal

I've been thinking a lot about all of that since last week's session, when we started deep-diving into my saying "I don't know" so much.

I do that a lot as a defence mechanism. Because plausible denialability (spelling) kept me marginally safer.

Daffydungle · Feb 28, 2021 at 04:10 AM

There is something wrong with my memory i was watching Fresh Prince of Bel Air and i thought i remember watching this when i was teenager. Nope i was 23 when it was first aired. I also swear i was 8 when i saw the Famous Five tv show but apparently i was 14 or there about.

divine1966 · Feb 28, 2021 at 06:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unaluna

I cancelled my appt. I am having trouble getting a zipcar. Plus really why should i drive so far? Rite aid is still making appts, i will just keep trying there.

Is there a Meyer by you? They are doing it. I had a link somewhere if you want it.

atisketatasket · Feb 28, 2021 at 08:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Daffydungle

There is something wrong with my memory i was watching Fresh Prince of Bel Air and i thought i remember watching this when i was teenager. Nope i was 23 when it was first aired. I also swear i was 8 when i saw the Famous Five tv show but apparently i was 14 or there about.

Misidentifying your age at an event is a typical minor memory issue. Very common, not worth worrying about.

Daffydungle · Feb 28, 2021 at 06:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

Misidentifying your age at an event is a typical minor memory issue. Very common, not worth worrying about.

It seemed to be super important with 2 of my therapist. Continuos questions about what age and one seemed disbelieving when i could not settle on an age.

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stopdog underdog is here Member Since Sep 2011 Location: blank Posts: 34,731 (SuperPoster!) 12 1 hugs given	Feb 27, 2021 at 05:23 PM #907 Do you want to be more assertive? __________________ Please NO @ Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
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ArtieTheSequal Writing my way through... Member Since Feb 2020 Location: In the desert Posts: 7,239 (SuperPoster!) 4 5,775 hugs given	Feb 27, 2021 at 05:33 PM #910 I'm reading a book right now that L suggested called "The Assertiveness Guide for Women: How to Communicate Your Needs, Set Healthy Boundaries, and Transform Your Relationships". I'm not very far into it yet but so far I think it's going to be helpful.
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unaluna Elder Harridan x-hankster Member Since Jun 2011 Location: Milan/Michigan Posts: 39,871 (SuperPoster!) 12 66.4k hugs given	Feb 27, 2021 at 05:44 PM #911 I cancelled my appt. I am having trouble getting a zipcar. Plus really why should i drive so far? Rite aid is still making appts, i will just keep trying there.
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Daffydungle Poohbah Member Since Apr 2020 Location: Nowhere Posts: 1,257 4 451 hugs given	Feb 27, 2021 at 06:25 PM #913 Ok the roadtrip has been cancelled as our monsoon rains have settled in the roads have been blocked at several places. A bit relieved
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Daffydungle Poohbah Member Since Apr 2020 Location: Nowhere Posts: 1,257 4 451 hugs given	Feb 28, 2021 at 04:10 AM #917 There is something wrong with my memory i was watching Fresh Prince of Bel Air and i thought i remember watching this when i was teenager. Nope i was 23 when it was first aired. I also swear i was 8 when i saw the Famous Five tv show but apparently i was 14 or there about.
	Reply With Quote