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Default Feb 27, 2021 at 11:31 AM
  #881
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Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight View Post
Good girl syndrome. Messages from childhood. Just my guess.

You'd make for an interesting advice columnist. All of your answers would end with: "And why are you asking me, anyway?" Or maybe that would be the entire answer.

I absolutely concur with your guess of the good girl thing, messages from childhood stuff as I am still dealing with the effects of that. It's more complicated than just a person not wanting to take responsibility (which I've been accused of). You feel in your very bones that you have to be perfect somehow in order to be loved, but since no one can be perfect, you just always feel like you're not enough, so if you want to quit something for instance, you feel like you have to have permission somehow or you'll be in trouble with the universe or something. I don't know if I'm making any sense at all.
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ArtieTheSequal
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Default Feb 27, 2021 at 11:33 AM
  #882
I've been thinking a lot about all of that since last week's session, when we started deep-diving into my saying "I don't know" so much.
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Default Feb 27, 2021 at 11:41 AM
  #883
Day 4 of my 10 day walking commitment - I decided to get up earlier than I have been lately for an off day, and go for a walk. Got back a little bit ago (1.32 miles this morning, yay!) then made breakfast. Walking to the mailbox & back this afternoon will add another .5 so that will be good for today. I like the route I took this morning, flat at first to start, then up a long, gradual hill to the end of that street before I turned around. I think I'll walk the same route tomorrow.


Well it's almost time for the Zoom workshop I'm doing today. Gotta go dig out my sketch pad for that before it starts, the email instructions said to have one handy. Not sure what we'll be sketching but it will be fun to find out.


Have a good morning/evening couchies. Be back after the workshop (4 hours). I forgot if I already mentioned it or not, it's about dream tending.
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Default Feb 27, 2021 at 11:56 AM
  #884
It's funny how I'm so worried about food that could be expired/have gone bad, yet I just took an Allegra with an 11/20 expiration date. But I think it's also having read an article that medications/vitamins are generally OK for a fairly long time after their expiration date, just may be a bit less potent (which could be a risk if it's something life-saving, of course--though I've read that epi-pens tend to be good for a very long time). But my sinuses and eyes have been driving me crazy since we had a really warm day a couple days ago. So, I'll risk it. And get a fresh bottle soon.
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Default Feb 27, 2021 at 12:07 PM
  #885
Waiting for the workshop to start. There's 139 people signed on so far, I've never been on such a large zoom call before! All the tiny little pictures are kinda funny! haha
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Default Feb 27, 2021 at 12:07 PM
  #886
Una, in the Dear T thread, you were looking for a place to comment on sMothered. I checked the TV commentary site I tend to use, and here you go! It's the current iteration of Television without Pity (I miss that version of the site...).
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Default Feb 27, 2021 at 12:12 PM
  #887
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Originally Posted by ArtieTheSequal View Post
I absolutely concur with your guess of the good girl thing, messages from childhood stuff as I am still dealing with the effects of that. It's more complicated than just a person not wanting to take responsibility (which I've been accused of). You feel in your very bones that you have to be perfect somehow in order to be loved, but since no one can be perfect, you just always feel like you're not enough, so if you want to quit something for instance, you feel like you have to have permission somehow or you'll be in trouble with the universe or something. I don't know if I'm making any sense at all.

Yes, all of this. For a few years, I was co-chair of the communications committee for a local all-volunteer public health organization. Once the pandemic started and H and D were home all the time, it felt like the organization was just another stressor. I wanted someone to give me permission to quit. H was in favor. But then Dr. T seemed concerned I'd be cutting off another connection to the outside world. I was mad that he seemed against it, like, "No, this is a self-care thing, you need to encourage this, damn it!!!"

I ended up stepping down (after being sure it was being left in good hands), and it's one of the better decisions I've made in the past few years. It took a weight off my shoulders. Maybe I'll join again if/when things return to semi-normal, but sometimes you just need to take something off your plate. And that's OK.
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Default Feb 27, 2021 at 12:41 PM
  #888
I started the day with my usual long walk to my grocery store to get fruit (dunno how long--I think 2 miles one-way). All of a sudden I felt little paws on my calf and there was a cute little terrier flying solo. I picked her up to read her collar tag and man was she a face-licker. I did take her back to her home, but she was so cute and adorable.

As a result I also feel that this means I have achieved peak Saturday and shouldn't have to do anything for the rest of the day.

Quote:
Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight View Post
You'd make for an interesting advice columnist. All of your answers would end with: "And why are you asking me, anyway?" Or maybe that would be the entire answer.
I would read a stopdog advice column. We could call it ACK (Advice and Counseling for non-Kumbaya singers).
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Default Feb 27, 2021 at 03:13 PM
  #889
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It's funny how I'm so worried about food that could be expired/have gone bad, yet I just took an Allegra with an 11/20 expiration date. But I think it's also having read an article that medications/vitamins are generally OK for a fairly long time after their expiration date, just may be a bit less potent (which could be a risk if it's something life-saving, of course--though I've read that epi-pens tend to be good for a very long time). But my sinuses and eyes have been driving me crazy since we had a really warm day a couple days ago. So, I'll risk it. And get a fresh bottle soon.
My mom's a pharmacist. She says medication is generally okay past the expiration date, they just have to put one due to the law.
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Default Feb 27, 2021 at 04:31 PM
  #890
Wow, that workshop was really interesting! I enjoyed it a lot, well worth the $29 charge. I took several pages of notes. It was about dream tending and the imaginal matrix, right up my alley. One of the things we did as a group was close our eyes and do an imagination exercise and then sketch something from it. At the end during the closing everyone held up their sketches so we could see each other's. Kinda hard to see very well in the tiny boxes with 150 on there haha but it was still cool. I will be doing more of his zoom workshops in the future!
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Default Feb 27, 2021 at 04:36 PM
  #891
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Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight View Post
Una, in the Dear T thread, you were looking for a place to comment on sMothered. I checked the TV commentary site I tend to use, and here you go! It's the current iteration of Television without Pity (I miss that version of the site...).
Thanks! Its great. Validating.
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Default Feb 27, 2021 at 04:42 PM
  #892
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My mom's a pharmacist. She says medication is generally okay past the expiration date, they just have to put one due to the law.
The dates they put on food are also not the the date you will die if you eat it. It is a best by date. I eat foods that are years out of the best by date. Milk and meat and fresh vegetables will let you know if they are bad - everything just eat it and go with your life

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Default Feb 27, 2021 at 04:44 PM
  #893
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Originally Posted by ArtieTheSequal View Post
I absolutely concur with your guess of the good girl thing, messages from childhood stuff as I am still dealing with the effects of that. It's more complicated than just a person not wanting to take responsibility (which I've been accused of). You feel in your very bones that you have to be perfect somehow in order to be loved, but since no one can be perfect, you just always feel like you're not enough, so if you want to quit something for instance, you feel like you have to have permission somehow or you'll be in trouble with the universe or something. I don't know if I'm making any sense at all.
I guess I just figured screw it - not being loved is better than constantly worrying about it. I consider Autonomy to be the greater good - not being loved. I mean I prefer being loved or liked, but if not, it isn't worth my soul to try and get it from others.

I don't see writing thank you notes (general consideration of others) to be in line with always follow rules/don't cause trouble.

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Default Feb 27, 2021 at 04:49 PM
  #894
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Wow, that workshop was really interesting! I enjoyed it a lot, well worth the $29 charge. I took several pages of notes. It was about dream tending and the imaginal matrix, right up my alley. One of the things we did as a group was close our eyes and do an imagination exercise and then sketch something from it. At the end during the closing everyone held up their sketches so we could see each other's. Kinda hard to see very well in the tiny boxes with 150 on there haha but it was still cool. I will be doing more of his zoom workshops in the future!
Glad you enjoyed it artie bean.

I haven't heard of dream tending before.

29*150 = $4,350. Maybe you could also start a how to knit class online. I'd pay to learn.

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Default Feb 27, 2021 at 04:54 PM
  #895
The horrible farmer's market in my park has started up again. Hundreds of people pushing strollers filled with goo-ridden children are milling about waiting to pay too much for mediocre produce and food truck items and stepping out into traffic without looking. Some of them are too stupid to have been allowed to reproduce.

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Default Feb 27, 2021 at 04:55 PM
  #896
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Glad you enjoyed it artie bean.

I haven't heard of dream tending before.

29*150 = $4,350. Maybe you could also start a how to knit class online. I'd pay to learn.
If you go on Twitch you can see live streams of people just knitting or crocheting no chatting or anything else. That was 10 mins of my life i will never get back There are some who wil teach.
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Default Feb 27, 2021 at 04:58 PM
  #897
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The horrible farmer's market in my park has started up again. Hundreds of people pushing strollers filled with goo-ridden children are milling about waiting to pay too much for mediocre produce and food truck items and stepping out into traffic without looking. Some of them are too stupid to have been allowed to reproduce.

My mother used to curse kids (not us) who annoyed or aggravated her by saying “may you not live to reproduce.”

A blessing for the world, though.

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Default Feb 27, 2021 at 04:59 PM
  #898
When i say 'i dont know' in therapy i really dont know its not that i dont want to say. Or i am ashamed or anything else. When pushed about a feeling my ex T said my response wasnt a feeling just a bunch of sounds but thats the best i could do. Another therapist said the same thing. I REALLY dont have words for a lot of my feelings why dont they understand that.
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Default Feb 27, 2021 at 05:01 PM
  #899
I havent heard about covid vaccines where i live beyond the first person to get it a 98 year old the first healthcare worker and our Prime Minister.
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Default Feb 27, 2021 at 05:04 PM
  #900
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When i say 'i dont know' in therapy i really dont know its not that i dont want to say. When pushed about a feeling my ex T said my response wasnt a feeling just a bunch of sounds but thats the best i could do. Another therapist said the same thing. I REALLY dont have words for a lot of my feelings why dont they understand that.


I wouldn't have words either.

Maybe art or music therapy would be better?

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