[treloarbabe]

I am so worried, I have just sent my therapist this email.

I didn't mean it to be rude. I'm just hurting and wanted to sort things out.

Hi T

Sorry to bother you! My carers have asked me to email you about practical matters as they are sorting out their diaries and mine. My carers say they need me to email you regarding this, as they need to refer to my care rotas which are mainly upstairs in their office and accommodation where I live with one of them 24/7, as well as them needing to be able to refer to their work diaries and my calendars, again which are largely upstairs in their office and accommodation where I live with one of them 24/7.

May 3rd 2021 and May 31st 2021 are both Mondays, but they are Bank Holidays. Therefore, do you still see people for twice a week therapy in those weeks, on another day if one of the appointments is on a Bank Holiday, or do you just see them once those weeks? I don't want to be a pain or do wrong by you, so I will do as directed by you and be fine with it! However, if you do still see people twice a week even if one of their appointments falls on a bank holiday, then I am free for a telephone appointment on Tuesday May 4th anytime. Let me know by replying to this email please. I can't do a face-to-face appointment that day, as my carer Katy is semi shielding, she is pregnant, she can't have the vaccination, so once she is with me, she says I can't go out anywhere with her. Tuesday June 1st Katy will be on maternity leave, Sarah will be with me so it can be a face-to-face appointment anytime. Let me know by replying to this email please.

Would it be possible for it to be a telephone appointment at 10am on Monday 20th September 2021 please? Could I also have a telephone appointment anytime on Thursday 23rd September if possible please instead of the Friday please? Let me know by replying to this email. Brian died in September last year, so this September will be the first-year anniversary month. I miss him every day all day, 24/7. In terms of appointments, we will have already had your three- or four-week summer holiday gap, so I will not add any more gaps in for myself during September.

In December, we will already have your two- or three-week Christmas gap, so I am not adding another gap in there myself either. Therefore, can we have a telephone appointment at 10am on Monday 6th December please and a face to face appointment anytime on 2nd December if possible please rather than on Friday 3rd please?

I know I am not the only one who doesn't take breaks of their own from appointments, as Brian never once did in his ten years working with Esme. My friend Lorraine (used to be my teacher in 2000 to 2004 but she kept in very close contact with me after I left) Lorraine never took her own breaks from her appointments either. Lorraine had appointments with her therapist for 15 years following the loss of her father, which she used to blog about, and I used to see in my Newsfeed as her friend on Facebook. Lorraine died in 2016 of a heart condition. We were very close, and I went to her funeral. Lorraine was in therapy from 2001 until her death in 2016

To miss our appointments myself is completely unnecessary and it would be far too disruptive! Prior to the last two sessions, I hadn't seen you face to face for over four months , so I do agree wholeheartedly with Jan when she says that it may take me longer with the trust building up because of that anyway, as it is like starting again in a way. This is also my first experience ever in therapy of this type myself and it will probably take me a few more months or years to start telling you about the other 'items etc etc etc. As I said yesterday, there is loads of it! There is still loads, I haven't told you, I haven't even begun really, and I have to do it slowly.

I am fine for there to be gaps in our appointments ,when you yourself have your Christmas Break, your Easter Break, and your Summer Break. I am also fine for there to be gaps in our appointments when you yourself are ill, or when you yourself have a family emergency. However, for the foreseeable future, I am not going to add any more gaps to our appointment schedule myself. apart from asking to reschedule the odd appointment if I have no choice but to ask you as below. I'm only little inside. This is because I have so much to tell you about in the weeks, months, and years ahead, as I try to trust more and more that I can let you help me and that you will not give up on me.

I look forward to hearing from you, just so the carers can update their calendars regarding what we are doing in May regarding the bank holidays and Tuesday sessions and also the September 23rd date and time if possible please, along with the Thursday 2nd December date and time if possible, please? Many Thanks, Regards, Hannah Fielding.

[InkyBooky]

I don't think this sounds rude at all. You sound very diligent, forthright, and respectful in addressing your scheduling requests/questions/concerns.

[satsuma]

The email doesn’t sound rude at all. Maybe you can follow up by being a bit directive in your next session and asking the T to clarify all these things with you.

[divine1966]

It’s not rude at all. It’s very polite and appropriate. It’s a bit long I think and addresses scheduling almost a year from now which would be hard to accomplish not knowing how pandemics will go. December 26th 10am is honestly so far away...it could be all in person by then or maybe not

[daisydid]

The email doesn’t come across as rude at all. It is a bit overwhelming, mainly because you talk about so many dates so far out as well as content that’s really more appropriate for an actual appointment. I would caution you not to be upset if your therapist isn’t able to respond to all of your inquiries. When planning things long-term, there are so many variables that may come up along the way.

[comrademoomoo]

I don't think you should worry about your emails being too long or too rude or too anything else. If your therapist finds them difficult to engage with, she can tell you and you discuss it. For now, you can focus on what you want to say and how you want to express it.

[NP_Complete]

It's not rude, but are you aware you left your name in the copy/paste above?

[Rive.]

I don't find it rude but it is overly long... with what seems like more 'therapy material' (i.e. content that would be/have been more appropriate to deal with in therapy) than scheduling issues.

It might have been less confusing if more 'to the point'.