[littleblackdog]

So, with only three therapy sessions left, my therapist has decided that we need to focus on my anxiety and has been trying to get me to do some visualisation/grounding exercises to try to help me calm myself.
BUT, I can't do them
The one I am supposed to be trying this week is to imagine a healing light from the universe entering through my head and spreading through my body etc. etc. etc. but I just can't. I can't imagine a light entering through my head, and I just end up feeling really self-conscious (even when I am alone) and ridiculous and then I get even more anxious because I can't do it.
They work to some extent in my therapy sessions, but I think that is mainly just the calming effect of my therapist's voice talking me through the process. She has sent me links to other guided exercises but they just don't work (I think because I feel safe with her and trust her, but random voices in a youtube video just don't have the same effect).

Am I just weird, with no imagination? I feel really stupid having to go back and tell her that I have failed again because the stupid exercises make me feel even more anxious/stressed

[nottrustin]

I can see why you would struggle especially with the visualization she gave you. For me that is too abstract.

As far as finding something online I struggled with this. I had to search many sights until I found one that worked for me. I checked various colleges, therapists, etc until I found some that worked. I figured out male voices did. ot work for (related to my trauma), high pitched voices, etc.

[littleblackdog]

I think I just suck at these things. I have tried a few different visualisations and am rubbish at them all. The one I have had most success with is visualising a 'safe' familiar place, which I can do because it it is remembering a real place and I can remember the sights/sounds/smells etc. The problem then is that instead of feeling calm and relaxed, I remember how I used to feel there, and how different I feel now and then just feel this overwhelming sadness (pathetic, I know).

The other problem is that the anxiety is so overwhelming at the moment and I have this added pressure that I only have three sessions left and then I will have no support.
Therapist says that this won't happen and there are other things the service can offer me - but I was told that before and then they just discharged me

[zoiecat]

It took me forever as well to learn how to visualize and calm myself. I do the light thing but I picture it as a cone coming down from the sky that I am sheltered inside of. If something is bothering me I imagine that the cone is bullet proof and nothing bad can get past it into my space. The cone however is not opaque. It is made of light rays and sometimes I will make them a different color depending on my mood.

[Salmon77]

Some people don't really "visualize" things in their mind the way others do. It's called aphantasia and it's not uncommon. For lots of people if you tell them "picture a light" they will "see" it in their minds like they're watching a movie, but for others (like me) it's just sort of thinking about the idea and not really a "picture." Maybe you can talk to her about other kinds of exercises that don't involve visualization? Like progressive relaxation or breathing exercises maybe?

[nottrustin]

One of the things that helps me is I sometimes visualize the scenario as if it were a movie. For instance once I was to visualize being on a training watching things as we went by. I imagined I was on thr Polar express with thr little boy sitting next to me.

[*Beth*]

I'm not suggesting you give up, but some people do have a hard time with visualization. It works wonders for me; my husband can't use visualization to save his life. It simply doesn't work for him.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by littleblackdog

So, with only three therapy sessions left, my therapist has decided that we need to focus on my anxiety and has been trying to get me to do some visualisation/grounding exercises to try to help me calm myself.
BUT, I can't do them
The one I am supposed to be trying this week is to imagine a healing light from the universe entering through my head and spreading through my body etc. etc. etc. but I just can't. I can't imagine a light entering through my head, and I just end up feeling really self-conscious (even when I am alone) and ridiculous and then I get even more anxious because I can't do it.
They work to some extent in my therapy sessions, but I think that is mainly just the calming effect of my therapist's voice talking me through the process. She has sent me links to other guided exercises but they just don't work (I think because I feel safe with her and trust her, but random voices in a youtube video just don't have the same effect).

Am I just weird, with no imagination? I feel really stupid having to go back and tell her that I have failed again because the stupid exercises make me feel even more anxious/stressed

have you ever sat out in the sun or laid out on a warm sunny day. you know that feeling of warmth you get as the sun shines on your head. thats the image I use when someone asks me to imagine a light entering my head. I imagine laying out in the sun getting a suntan or just looking around while feeling the warm heat on my head of the sun. and how if I sit still long enough I can feel the sunshine not only warm one spot on my head but my whole scalp, hair and skin.

from there I focus in on that warm feeling and see if I can feel that feeling on my face, shoulders, arms and so forth down by body.

the reason I think about the sun with these exercises is because the sun ......is ...... part of the universe. the universe is the sun, stars, moon, planets, the whole solar system, the milky way and so on all the galaxies.
its the people here on earth that care and love me, its love, family, pleasure.

some people believe the moons gavity pull is what causes mood swings, tidal changes with the oceans and so on. some people believe there is a higher power and their loved ones watch over us...

my point is what ever you feel is your definition of universe imagine that love and warmth that your belief gives to you.

for me its nature, the sun ect...

maybe you can try this meditation by imagining the warmth of the sun or the moon or what ever your belief system is. it may help to get you started on doing this meditation exercise you are struggling with.

[daisydid]

I wonder, are you able to visualize what is happening when you read a book? When I was teaching, I did a lot of professional development in visualization as it pertains to reading, but I think the same core principles can be applied universally. It surprised me that there are people who struggle with or can't visualize, as it isn't something that I ever struggled with. Yet the research I've seen shows that a decent amount of the population, approximately a third, struggle with it. One of the most basic exercises I did with my students was have them draw a picture of what they imagine is going on. So in your instance, you might draw yourself (try to avoid stick figures if possible) with a light over your head. It may sound silly but it helps to make something that is abstract more concrete. If you're interested, I'd be happy to discuss more exercises that may help. Hopefully some of the grounding work that your therapist is working with you on will be more helpful in the meantime.

[littleblackdog]

Originally Posted by amandalouise

have you ever sat out in the sun or laid out on a warm sunny day. you know that feeling of warmth you get as the sun shines on your head. thats the image I use when someone asks me to imagine a light entering my head. I imagine laying out in the sun getting a suntan or just looking around while feeling the warm heat on my head of the sun. and how if I sit still long enough I can feel the sunshine not only warm one spot on my head but my whole scalp, hair and skin.

maybe you can try this meditation by imagining the warmth of the sun or the moon or what ever your belief system is. it may help to get you started on doing this meditation exercise you are struggling with.

Thank you - that does help. I did actually start with trying to remember the sensation of the sun warming me.
I don't believe in any higher power, but I will try thinking of the universe instead.

[littleblackdog]

Originally Posted by Salmon77

Some people don't really "visualize" things in their mind the way others do. It's called aphantasia and it's not uncommon. For lots of people if you tell them "picture a light" they will "see" it in their minds like they're watching a movie, but for others (like me) it's just sort of thinking about the idea and not really a "picture." Maybe you can talk to her about other kinds of exercises that don't involve visualization? Like progressive relaxation or breathing exercises maybe?

OMG I never realised that this was a thing. But yes, I don't see things like a movie, I kind of get the general idea but don't 'see' it.

Originally Posted by daisydid

I wonder, are you able to visualize what is happening when you read a book? When I was teaching, I did a lot of professional development in visualization as it pertains to reading, but I think the same core principles can be applied universally. It surprised me that there are people who struggle with or can't visualize, as it isn't something that I ever struggled with. Yet the research I've seen shows that a decent amount of the population, approximately a third, struggle with it. One of the most basic exercises I did with my students was have them draw a picture of what they imagine is going on. So in your instance, you might draw yourself (try to avoid stick figures if possible) with a light over your head. It may sound silly but it helps to make something that is abstract more concrete. If you're interested, I'd be happy to discuss more exercises that may help. Hopefully some of the grounding work that your therapist is working with you on will be more helpful in the meantime.

BIB: I would always have said yes, but I actually realise that I can't visualise it. I can imagine the actions (person going through a door etc.) but I don't 'see' it as a picture.
I will try the drawing a picture (although I have absolutely zero artistic talent so stick mean are pretty much the limit of my skills ). If you have any more exercises, that would be great and I will talk to my therapist next week as well.

Thanks you for the replies, I actually feel like less of a failure now - like there's a reason that I struggle with this that's not just me being rubbish...

[neverending]

Salmon77

Wow. I never knew that I had something with a title. I thought I was alone in never being able to visualize, including sound, scent, smell and difficulty recognizing faces!!! I am NOT alone!!!

[Elio]

My ability to visualize is really weird. I can't visualize a healing light, I can't even recall the warmth of the sun on my skin even though I was outside yesterday in it. I do see words and numbers as objects in my mind and I am able to construct/reconstruct/design buildings in my head. I use this ability as a calming exercise. I will walk myself through a building either taking a house I've been in and remodeling it, or thinking of a building I'd construct if I won a lottery. Another thing I do around this is walk through existing buildings I've been in to find the place I'd hide if I was there and didn't feel safe -- create/find a hidey hole so to speak. Once I find it, I can use that as a sort of visualization because I can walk myself through the building to there. However, it has to be something that I find through some sort of sensing or something. I'm not sure what it is really but if someone told me to use x cupboard or y closet to visualize, I wouldn't be able to do it. There's something about the process of moving through the building in my mind that is part of creating the space of safety - not just the final location. The more I use a space the quicker I can get to that place of safety, until it becomes just the image of the location. I've even used this ability to construct physical objects in my brain to see a cyclone fence/net like barrier between me and the world that I can electrify when needed. The sense of safety isn't from something "warm"/"loving" sensing. It comes from a more concrete knowledge and control of a barrier.

I've also used the physical location/object for feeling the safety - like when I feel like my body/mind is molecularly expanding/exploding outwardly (out of control/racing - hard to explain), I will physically find a space that is small and cramped to sit/crawl into to contain me. When I feel the need for a hug and there is no one to get one from - I've used a refrigerator to lean against and something about the texture allowed me to sense the protectiveness of something so much larger than my mind's sense of myself. Or physically sitting in a corner or under a desk/table. I find the concept of these places as safe places. I can imagine them as physical objects/things and use that to feel safe. I don't feel like I'm there or remember the safety of what it feels like when there. It's more the knowledge that they are safe and so seeing them like a picture, reminds me that there are safe places - or something like that.

Another thing I use is that affinity towards tactile stimulation to trace things with my fingers. The more textual the thing is the better. This allows me to center myself and focus on that specific item, movement and so on.

T and I discovered that I also find great relief from doing "hard" physical labor like moving a pile of dirt. She called it something specific, I don't recall what it was. It had something to do with the movement of the large muscle groups.

I guess we've kind of addressed my anxiety from a body perspective than a mind perspective; getting my brain to create different chemicals through something physical. Nothing says that you have to think your way through your anxiety. You are a unique being, so finding what actually calms you and expanding on that is more of a key. That and I guess coming to the realization that all grounding/calming exercises are ... are things we do to purposely to bring our focus to something specific for a moment, with the intent of creating a shift/transition of activity in our mind to a calmer state. I've been known to use the light from a dog toy that flashes red/green/blue colors in different patterns.

It took some trial and error and me feeling free to explore what imagery and actions came to me naturally and what those images mean to me, rather than something suggested/pushed onto me.