advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
ScarletPimpernel
Wise Elder
 
ScarletPimpernel's Avatar
ScarletPimpernel has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2013
Location: US
Posts: 8,394 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
6,354 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Feb 08, 2021 at 02:12 PM
  #1
It was only one week that I didn't have my second weekly appointment and she already gave that spot to another client

And last night she wasn't going to tell me. She said it's best if we didn't talk about it because it would trigger me. Wtf?!?!

I understand she has a business to run, but I thought I was more than just a paycheck to her. I didn't think she would replace me that fast. And now that I can do the twice a week again, she doesn't have a spot for me. I'm so mad!

__________________
"Odium became your opium..." ~Epica
ScarletPimpernel is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
*Beth*, ArtieTheSequal, Bill3, emmaleemochizuki, Favorite Jeans, FellowBlueberry, Lonelyinmyheart, LonesomeTonight, Mystical_Being, NP_Complete, Purple,Violet,Blue, RoxanneToto, SalingerEsme, seeker33, SlumberKitty, Taylor27
 
Thanks for this!
SalingerEsme

advertisement
SlumberKitty
Legendary Wise Elder
 
SlumberKitty's Avatar
SlumberKitty is staying stable.
 
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
117.7k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Feb 08, 2021 at 02:18 PM
  #2
HUGS Scarlet

__________________
Dum Spiro Spero
IC XC NIKA
SlumberKitty is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Bill3, Purple,Violet,Blue
 
Thanks for this!
ScarletPimpernel
LostOnTheTrail
Tweaky Dog
 
LostOnTheTrail's Avatar
LostOnTheTrail has no updates.
 
Member Since: Aug 2011
Location: England
Posts: 4,777
10 yr Member
3,105 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Feb 08, 2021 at 02:21 PM
  #3
Ouch, Scarlet. I'm sorry to hear that.
It seems to me that you would have had quite a discussion about this, including contingency for if you were able to go back to twice a week.

I hope she's able to help you out at some point soon.

__________________
'Somewhere up above the great divide
Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few
A man can see his way clear to the light
Just hold on tight, that's all you gotta do...'

Steve Earle - Fort Worth Blues

'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin
LostOnTheTrail is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Purple,Violet,Blue
 
Thanks for this!
Quietmind 2, RoxanneToto, SalingerEsme, ScarletPimpernel, unaluna
LonesomeTonight
Always in This Twilight
 
LonesomeTonight's Avatar
LonesomeTonight has no updates.
 
Member Since: Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 20,699 (SuperPoster!)
8 yr Member
74.8k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Feb 08, 2021 at 02:28 PM
  #4
Hugs, Scarlet, I'm so sorry...
LonesomeTonight is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Purple,Violet,Blue
 
Thanks for this!
ScarletPimpernel
comrademoomoo
Grand Poohbah
 
comrademoomoo's Avatar
comrademoomoo is losing at chess, winning at blundering
 
Member Since: Feb 2019
Location: Toodlepip
Posts: 1,698
5 yr Member PC PoohBah!
Default Feb 08, 2021 at 03:07 PM
  #5
Has she replaced you or is she managing her diary? She can care about you and maintain her practice by supporting other clients. I find it very uncomfortable and incongruous that money is a factor in these intimate relationships where we are so vulnerable, but (in most cases) therapy is a business. It's horrible.

Actually, for me, this wouldn't be about me being a paycheck (she barely charges me for sessions anyway so it's a moot point), but I would feel burnt by the fact that other clients are as important to her as I am! That the tenderness and closeness we share is replicated with other clients in other slots! I mean, cognitively, I know that's true, but being confronted by it like this would hurt. Ugh, this is horrid for you.
comrademoomoo is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Purple,Violet,Blue, RoxanneToto, SalingerEsme
 
Thanks for this!
atisketatasket, Lonelyinmyheart, LonesomeTonight, Mystical_Being, SalingerEsme, ScarletPimpernel, unaluna
ScarletPimpernel
Wise Elder
 
ScarletPimpernel's Avatar
ScarletPimpernel has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2013
Location: US
Posts: 8,394 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
6,354 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Feb 08, 2021 at 03:13 PM
  #6
Quote:
Originally Posted by LostOnTheTrail View Post
Ouch, Scarlet. I'm sorry to hear that.
It seems to me that you would have had quite a discussion about this, including contingency for if you were able to go back to twice a week.

I hope she's able to help you out at some point soon.
She always said we would go back to twice a week sometime in the future. That once a week was just a season. Thay season lasted one week because H got a job. The only thing we discussed was that she would always be able to fit me in. Technically, she is going to fit me in, but I no longer have a spot that's specifically mine. It makes me feel so unimportant.

Actually what hurts the most is being replaced, but what pisses me off the most is that she didn't want to tell me because it would trigger me.

__________________
"Odium became your opium..." ~Epica
ScarletPimpernel is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
LonesomeTonight, Purple,Violet,Blue, RoxanneToto, SalingerEsme, Taylor27
 
Thanks for this!
Bill3, SalingerEsme
ScarletPimpernel
Wise Elder
 
ScarletPimpernel's Avatar
ScarletPimpernel has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2013
Location: US
Posts: 8,394 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
6,354 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Feb 08, 2021 at 03:15 PM
  #7
Quote:
Originally Posted by comrademoomoo View Post
Has she replaced you or is she managing her diary? She can care about you and maintain her practice by supporting other clients. I find it very uncomfortable and incongruous that money is a factor in these intimate relationships where we are so vulnerable, but (in most cases) therapy is a business. It's horrible.

Actually, for me, this wouldn't be about me being a paycheck (she barely charges me for sessions anyway so it's a moot point), but I would feel burnt by the fact that other clients are as important to her as I am! That the tenderness and closeness we share is replicated with other clients in other slots! I mean, cognitively, I know that's true, but being confronted by it like this would hurt. Ugh, this is horrid for you.
Exactly! Thank you for putting it into those words. I thought I was special to her, but I'm not. Someone else is just as special if not more. It crushes my heart.

__________________
"Odium became your opium..." ~Epica
ScarletPimpernel is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
ArtieTheSequal, LonesomeTonight, Purple,Violet,Blue, RoxanneToto, Taylor27
 
Thanks for this!
Quietmind 2, RoxanneToto
Taylor27
healing from trauma
 
Taylor27's Avatar
Taylor27 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2017
Location: Alberta
Posts: 30,425 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
24.3k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Feb 08, 2021 at 04:14 PM
  #8
I would too be upset because that spot should be open for you unless it agreed by both of you. My therapist always makes sure that my spot is open unless we talk about it first.
Taylor27 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Purple,Violet,Blue
 
Thanks for this!
ScarletPimpernel
LonesomeTonight
Always in This Twilight
 
LonesomeTonight's Avatar
LonesomeTonight has no updates.
 
Member Since: Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 20,699 (SuperPoster!)
8 yr Member
74.8k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Feb 08, 2021 at 08:41 PM
  #9
Scarlet, of course you are more than just a paycheck to her. It's clear that she really cares about you. However, if she thought you were switching to once a week for a considerable stretch of time, it does make sense that she would put someone in your regular time slot rather than holding it open. I understand that it hurts, and I'm sure I'd be feeling the same way in your place (I have general times that T holds for me but not an official spot). But please try to focus on the fact that she's making time to fit you in. That is a sign that she cares. Hopefully you will be able to get a regular second spot soon (if not the same one). But for now, she's finding time for you. And that means you are important to her.
LonesomeTonight is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Purple,Violet,Blue, RoxanneToto, SalingerEsme, SlumberKitty
 
Thanks for this!
*Beth*, Quietmind 2, Rive., RoxanneToto, SalingerEsme, ScarletPimpernel
ScarletPimpernel
Wise Elder
 
ScarletPimpernel's Avatar
ScarletPimpernel has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2013
Location: US
Posts: 8,394 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
6,354 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Feb 08, 2021 at 09:32 PM
  #10
You're right LT, and it still hurts.

Btw, I talked to L about her saying she wanted to avoid it because she didn't want to trigger me. It was a miscommunication. What she meant to say is that we no longer try to schedule that time because that day has now become triggering for me; not that she doesn't want to talk about the triggers themselves.

I'm just a complete wreck emotionally, mentally, physically. I spent 2 months preparing for the decrease in frequency, went through the first week, then I have twice a week back but am feeling replaced, to now H just called me and said he doesn't think the job will last longer than a few months. I feel like a punching bag. I'm just emotionally being jerked around.

__________________
"Odium became your opium..." ~Epica
ScarletPimpernel is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
LonesomeTonight, Purple,Violet,Blue, RoxanneToto, SalingerEsme, SlumberKitty
 
Thanks for this!
Quietmind 2, SalingerEsme
Favorite Jeans
Grand Poohbah
 
Favorite Jeans's Avatar
Favorite Jeans has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jun 2013
Location: In my head
Posts: 1,787
10 yr Member
1,819 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Feb 08, 2021 at 10:35 PM
  #11
Quote:
Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel View Post
Exactly! Thank you for putting it into those words. I thought I was special to her, but I'm not. Someone else is just as special if not more. It crushes my heart.
Scarlet, I don’t think someone else is more special. It’s probably that she has a wait list and could suddenly fit in someone who’s been waiting for therapy.

It can hurt in such a personal way and still not be about you or how she feels about at all. Your feelings can be valid and real and deserving of care but having them doesn’t prove that your reasoning is sound, much less that you know her thoughts.

Hugs. This sounds hard.
Favorite Jeans is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
SalingerEsme, SlumberKitty
 
Thanks for this!
LonesomeTonight, Quietmind 2, RoxanneToto, ScarletPimpernel
ScarletPimpernel
Wise Elder
 
ScarletPimpernel's Avatar
ScarletPimpernel has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2013
Location: US
Posts: 8,394 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
6,354 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Feb 08, 2021 at 10:55 PM
  #12
Quote:
Originally Posted by Favorite Jeans View Post
Scarlet, I don’t think someone else is more special. It’s probably that she has a wait list and could suddenly fit in someone who’s been waiting for therapy.

It can hurt in such a personal way and still not be about you or how she feels about at all. Your feelings can be valid and real and deserving of care but having them doesn’t prove that your reasoning is sound, much less that you know her thoughts.

Hugs. This sounds hard.
You and LT are right. If I think back on everything, I know I'm special to L. I don't write all she has done on here, but she has done things for me that I know without a doubt she wouldn't do it for other clients.

I'm just really messed up right now. I think I just need to be with her so I can be in her presence and remember our foundation. I see her tomorrow. I need it. I might even just do a double session and not tell H.

__________________
"Odium became your opium..." ~Epica
ScarletPimpernel is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Favorite Jeans, GeminiNZ, LonesomeTonight, RoxanneToto, SlumberKitty
 
Thanks for this!
Quietmind 2
GeminiNZ
Veteran Member
 
GeminiNZ's Avatar
GeminiNZ has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 626
10 yr Member
537 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Feb 09, 2021 at 01:47 AM
  #13
Oh Scarlet, i really feel for you. It can be pretty darn ouchy when our personal stuff rubs up against the reality of therapy being a job for our Ts. Everyone's already said pretty much everything i would so will just leave you a hug and the hope that your session goes well.

__________________
"Music is a moral law. It gives soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and charm and gaiety to life and to everything." - Plato
GeminiNZ is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Favorite Jeans, SlumberKitty
 
Thanks for this!
LonesomeTonight, Quietmind 2, RoxanneToto, ScarletPimpernel
ScarletPimpernel
Wise Elder
 
ScarletPimpernel's Avatar
ScarletPimpernel has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2013
Location: US
Posts: 8,394 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
6,354 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Feb 10, 2021 at 07:39 AM
  #14
Thank you all for your support and validation.

Update: I had a double session with L yesterday. It went really well. Things are pretty much back to normal except that I still feel like she replaced me. I guess I'll just have to grieve that time slot She said she does have me on the calendar for the next 5 months, so that's good. But it's not a consistent day/time.

__________________
"Odium became your opium..." ~Epica
ScarletPimpernel is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
LonesomeTonight, RoxanneToto, SlumberKitty
 
Thanks for this!
Quietmind 2, RoxanneToto
LonesomeTonight
Always in This Twilight
 
LonesomeTonight's Avatar
LonesomeTonight has no updates.
 
Member Since: Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 20,699 (SuperPoster!)
8 yr Member
74.8k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Feb 10, 2021 at 08:39 AM
  #15
I'm glad things seem mostly back to normal. I wonder if maybe one of her clients stops seeing her, she'd be able to switch you to a regular time slot for your second session? Even if it's different from your previous one? I'm glad she has you scheduled for 5 months at least.
LonesomeTonight is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
SlumberKitty
 
Thanks for this!
Quietmind 2, ScarletPimpernel
ScarletPimpernel
Wise Elder
 
ScarletPimpernel's Avatar
ScarletPimpernel has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2013
Location: US
Posts: 8,394 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
6,354 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Feb 12, 2021 at 10:39 AM
  #16
Today at 1:30pm would have been my normal time with L. I just am besides myself. It's hurting so bad today. Part of me just wants to end it all. She can easily replace me. She's proven that. I am so angry at her. I don't see this getting any better. I know she has me booked for 5 months AND she still gave away my spot. 1:30pm is going to be so hard for me. I'll forever remember it as a betrayal. It's like when H bought me a huge teddy bear to say he's sorry for lying to me. Now that stupid bear always reminds me he's a liar.

We're supposed to talk about it today, but I'm thinking of canceling.

__________________
"Odium became your opium..." ~Epica
ScarletPimpernel is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
LonesomeTonight, Mystical_Being, RoxanneToto, SlumberKitty
SlumberKitty
Legendary Wise Elder
 
SlumberKitty's Avatar
SlumberKitty is staying stable.
 
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
117.7k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Feb 12, 2021 at 10:51 AM
  #17
I'm sorry you are hurting Scarlet. I would urge you not to cancel your appointment but go and talk it out with L and give yourself a chance to feel better. Gentle HUGS Kit

__________________
Dum Spiro Spero
IC XC NIKA
SlumberKitty is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
LonesomeTonight, ScarletPimpernel
LonesomeTonight
Always in This Twilight
 
LonesomeTonight's Avatar
LonesomeTonight has no updates.
 
Member Since: Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 20,699 (SuperPoster!)
8 yr Member
74.8k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Feb 12, 2021 at 11:08 AM
  #18
Quote:
Originally Posted by SlumberKitty View Post
I'm sorry you are hurting Scarlet. I would urge you not to cancel your appointment but go and talk it out with L and give yourself a chance to feel better. Gentle HUGS Kit

I agree--it's better to go talk it out. Hugs...
LonesomeTonight is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
ScarletPimpernel
ArtleyWilkins
Magnate
ArtleyWilkins has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2018
Location: USA
Posts: 2,787
5 yr Member
7 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Feb 12, 2021 at 11:24 AM
  #19
She didn't replace you. You still are her client. She still cares. You still have your sessions once a week. I know you are hurting, but talk it out. Try to get your rational/wise mind to speak louder than your emotions. You know how much she cares and how dedicated she has been and continues to be to your welfare. She's proven THAT over and over again.
ArtleyWilkins is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
Elio, LonesomeTonight, Mystical_Being, ScarletPimpernel, SlumberKitty
ScarletPimpernel
Wise Elder
 
ScarletPimpernel's Avatar
ScarletPimpernel has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2013
Location: US
Posts: 8,394 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
6,354 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Feb 12, 2021 at 01:48 PM
  #20
I tried to cancel with her. She ignored it/flipped it and said she was glad we're having session today.

I'm frustrated. And she didn't answer any of my questions. She is reminding me of T right now where nothing phases her.

I'm scared of session and don't want to go. I don't want to deal with this anger and sadness. But I guess I'm going...

__________________
"Odium became your opium..." ~Epica
ScarletPimpernel is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
SlumberKitty, unaluna
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 05:52 AM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.