Talking To Male T About Female Issues

Just wondering what experiences you all have about talking to male Ts about female issues. We have begun touching on my suicidal ideation and I know this becomes much worse during my time of the month as it’s a massive trigger for my CSA and feelings of disgust and shame thanks to the way my mother reacted when I started my periods. I’m really embarrassed and ashamed to bring up menstruation issues with him being a male T and probably wouldn’t even be able to say the words without wanting to run out of the room, but I realise it’s probably something that does need to be discussed at some point.
Has anyone had their own experiences how doing this and how did it go?

I initially found talking about menstrual issues with my male T is even more embarrassing and awkward for me than talking about sex. But one time when I brought it up, I mentioned how awkward it felt, and he said something like, "Oh my God, you have a period?!?" in this exaggerated tone of pretend horror. And it made me laugh (which I know was the point) and helped me feel more comfortable talking about it. Not fully comfortable, but just more comfortable. And the fact that he's been very matter-of-fact about it when I've brought it up since has helped. As in, he seems totally fine talking about it.


So I think acknowledging to your T that you feel weird and embarrassed talking about it can help. From how you described it here, it sounds like an important thing for you to discuss. If you don't think you can say it out loud initially, maybe you could write it down and hand it to him, if you're seeing him in person? Or if you're still seeing him virtually, send an email or use the chat feature if the software has one? (I know Zoom does, for example.) I think once you talk about it once, and see that your T is OK with it, it will gradually become easier.

I honestly found talking about female issues easier with a male therapist because I didn’t get the automatic “oh, we all go through that” response. It has honestly been the same with male doctors and female issues. The men have been much more willing to listen and not minimize my problems.

I briefly talked to a male t about female issues. It went okay. Try to remember it is probably nothing they haven't heard before, especially if they have been in their profession for any length of time.

Thanks LT, that’s actually a really good point. When I have said I’m worried or scared about talking about things in past, he has always gone in to extremely gentle, reassuring and soothing mode so that’s probably a good way forward. I’m seeing him in person but he’s ok with the odd email in between sessions so maybe I email him explaining that it’s something I want to talk about but I’m embarrassed and it feels weird and that way he’ll be the one to initiate the conversation and it won’t feel as awkward. I don’t think I’m quite ready to go there yet, but it’s something I want to think about and prepare myself for over the next few weeks.

Many years ago I had a wonderful male therapist. I had never had any particular reason to bring up "female" issues. Then one day he said to me, "I've noticed that every month at about the same time you tend to get moody. Do you think maybe you have PMS?"

I know I blushed, but honestly...there's not an emotionally mature man who would balk about a woman mentioning periods and such. Especially a man in a medical-type field.

I am a trans man and I don’t have a male therapist but I have a male primary doctor and it’s tough to bring up certain issues I’m having regarding my transition. I’d really like to just blurt out how tough things are sometimes. But I don’t want him to get offended or weirded out. I have to remind myself doctors have heard everything.

I did have a male doctor doing an internal exam in an immediate care. It didn’t bother me because I was in a **** ton of pain and didn’t care. Then I had a male doctor do a procedure down there the next night in the ER and I was fine.

I guess if it’s an emergency I’m ok dealing with whoever but if I just have to talk about something it’s difficult. But I’ve talked to my Pdoc about period issues and he’s been cool because doctors really have heard it all. I guess if I ever were to get a male T I’d prefer an older one instead of someone my age.

I've talked about it with Pdoc but since he is a medical doctor (a psychiatrist and a neurologist) it wasn't so bad, even though it's not his field. I was kind of embarrassed but once I got the words out it wasn't so bad. I have a female T but when I was seeing Pastor T I talked to him about a female test/procedure and he was actually really helpful. I was really surprised. I think he was more helpful than my female T.