Couch 225: 2+2=5, Sheeple!

I will say that I have misplaced and forgotten about a lot of checks myself. When my person died, I lost about 6 that were issued to me by the courts for my court appointed work. It was a few thousand dollars. Luckily they replaced them. A couple of times the clerk of court called me to check on them - which was very lucky for me.
I just found a check today in a pile of papers (personal check to me for picking up something for a friend) that is over a year old. I will just tear it up and go on.

Hugs, not in specific groups but fortunately I did find some guides with suggestions on how to reorient.

I've had my sister muted a long time but good idea to archive her chats

Oohhh!

Exactly how many lost checks and appointment books am I supposed to forgive, though? To write a new check or cancel the old one or tell her when my next appointment is is inconvenient to me, especially since she knows she got the check.

She’s not a relative or a friend, who would get a much longer leash. She’s never been that focused, but this is a new level. I realize it’s explicable by grief, and it’s not like I haven’t experienced grief myself and its side-effects, but I also feel like I can’t object to her about this, because I wouldn’t object to anyone about this.

*And for goodness’s sake please no one chide or condescend to me about this. I think it’s fair to be annoyed at this, and we all know I’ll end up writing her another check because it is money she’s entitled to. But either I whine here or I go off on a grieving widow.

I was not saying don't be annoyed. I was just thinking about the fact that I am terrible with checks like she is. I usually forgot I even received them or that I was owed them. That is why for me it was lucky I had the clerks to look out for me. It was the one area I should have had a secretary for. I was terrible at billing too - that is why court appointed cases were best for me because they just sent it - I didn't have to bill them for it. I always forgot to keep track of my time on cases and so lost money that way as well. It just isn't something that is on my daily radar.
Direct deposit from the university is a great good for me.

Yeah, but Info has always been very payment-focused. It was like the one thing I could count on her to remember. Some other therapists, I had to remind to collect their fee. Never Info.

I did not think you were telling me not to be annoyed.

Huh. Maybe she had a lot of life insurance on the old man.

Can you ask her, do we need to move to a different payment paradigm? Venmo me!

I just had to get Venmo for something else, but I’m thinking cash, without the throwing it bit. Though that is probably the best part.

I had a friend who was into the throwing. I preferred he keep that part of himself hidden from me.

Snowflake? I prefer the moniker sunflower.

Penny looks very stern.

It's totally understandable that you're annoyed, even if she is a grieving widow. If she can't handle her end of things right now, she probably should have taken a little more time off.

I literally just missed getting a vaccine appointment for my mother at Rite Aid. Not once but twice. First time the calendar slot filled just as I hit submit. Second time I’d filled out all the info like ethnicity and health, hit submit, boom, it was gone to somebody else. I feel like I failed somehow.

I do think LT’s tip about Rite Aid releasing appointments at midnight is correct, though. It was exactly midnight when the slots became available.

I was wondering why my usual, extensively practiced grounding skills weren't working. Until I read that alters can send flashbacks... 4th was asking for help by non stop flashbacks.

Source:
4 Tools to Cope with Flashbacks — Beauty After Bruises

I'm so exhausted.

Firstly you are allowed to feel whatever you feel.

BUT she has a responsibility to ensure she is fit for work.If she can not meet that standard now she should not be seeing clients so soon. That's on her.

I agree with all of this. I'd be concerned about her losing her appointment book as well, if it could be someplace other than her house or office--presumably she just uses, say, first names and initials (in terms of confidentiality). And it would make me concerned about whether she'd be able to handle conducting therapy right now.

I'm also bad at misplacing things like checks, bills, etc. (online billing has helped so much). My classic thing would be to put something "in a special place," then...forgetting where that place was.

And I just pay Dr. T with a credit card--it's one where I get points for purchases, so figure I'm getting a little back (though I do feel guilty that he has to pay a small fee for it, but it's gone down since he started using Ivy Pay). I understand why you would want to have the act of writing the check to pay her--it's the opposite of the reason why I don't like using a check/cash and preferred doing the credit card part at the beginning when i was seeing Dr. T in person. You presumably want to reminder that you're paying for her services, that it's a business transaction of sorts. I sort of want to forget that (much easier to do now that it's virtual and payments are electronic).

This happened to me a couple times (though I think with Giant and Safeway, grocery store pharmacies), and it was SO frustrating. Like I got to the end, filled out all the info, and it was like, "Nope, sorry!" Someone in a Vaccine Hunters group I was in said the one site was like a video game, where you just had to keep mashing buttons (clicking on dates again and again) in the hopes of getting through. And that seemed accurate. Registering to get a vaccine shouldn't be like that...

Hope you can find her one soon. You've likely already thought of this, but if it's a form you have to fill out with name, address, etc., it can help to have all the info in a Word doc that you can just copy/paste. But I know some of it is checking boxes, too.

If she has CVS near her, try there, too. I know in my state, they just increased the number of CVS locations that distribute the vaccine--not sure if that's a national thing or not. I've read conflicting things about when they release appointments though.

My parents and in-laws have now all managed to either get their first shot or have it scheduled (MIL tomorrow). Though they mostly did it themselves (I got my MIL one, but she'd gotten one at exactly the same moment, so had to cancel it).

H got his appointment at Safeway's pharmacy. He's going in about 2 hours. I still don't have a clue when I'll be able to get mine, but am I glad he's able to get his!

Diabetic cat is struggling with walking this morning, but he's outside right now laying in the sun. Hoping the heat will help his legs feel better. I'm so torn on what to do... start talking with vet again about or just keep him as comfortable as possible and wait a little longer. He struggles, but he's not howling or hiding in the closet or anything. Poor guy. He's 14 now.

@@ I pay with cash. I'm pretty sure my T loses half of it because she seems to "stash" it all over her office. I'm sure her record keeping is a mess but she does take meticulous notes in session. I don't throw it but I usually have to sort of thrust it at her and say "here." Otherwise she won't reach for it even though I have it in my hand from when I enter her office.

Artie, HUGS for your diabetic cat. Poor Esther is diabetic too. We've had to make certain changes like putting a stool on the bench where she gets up to get to her food (on the counter). But mostly she does pretty well. Sometimes her legs seem to just fall out from under her. Then I pick her up. I can't stand that.

I think too often pets are kept alive past the humane time. I feel that way about people too. I am a huge believer in quality over quantity. We have a mobile vet who comes to the house which is a lot less stressful for the pet. It is never fun, but pets, particularly cats, can mask pain and discomfort well. I know I have waited too long. I have never said I made the decision too soon. I try to keep that in mind now and act more quickly.