Couch 225: 2+2=5, Sheeple!

unaluna · Mar 05, 2021 at 10:04 AM

Aaaahhhh!!!! I eat Batchelor tomato soup!!!

chihirochild · Mar 05, 2021 at 12:44 PM

For anyone interested in my ongoing T saga:

Psychiatrist spoke with T. She told him to back off, loosen up. He said he didn't mean to throw down a gauntlet... but he did. She said he really wants to keep working with me, that he and I have done years of good work, that he wants to work out this stalemate. She said he must have just panicked. She said that T and I shouldn't try to reconstruct what happened and why everything got so messed up, that we should just try to go forward. She advised that I try to take a half-step forward him and see what happens... and if it gets messed up again, she'll take another crack at it.

I'm "seeing" him via Zoom in a few hours.

I dunno about this.

stopdog · Mar 05, 2021 at 01:00 PM

I think that is a crock of **** and I would not let him profit off of me any longer. His feelings about it are of no relevance at all.
But good luck if it is what you want

Lemoncake · Mar 05, 2021 at 01:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chihirochild

For anyone interested in my ongoing T saga:

Psychiatrist spoke with T. She told him to back off, loosen up. He said he didn't mean to throw down a gauntlet... but he did. She said he really wants to keep working with me, that he and I have done years of good work, that he wants to work out this stalemate. She said he must have just panicked. She said that T and I shouldn't try to reconstruct what happened and why everything got so messed up, that we should just try to go forward. She advised that I try to take a half-step forward him and see what happens... and if it gets messed up again, she'll take another crack at it.

I'm "seeing" him via Zoom in a few hours.

I dunno about this.

What exactly panicked him? When you had previously told him that you weren't comfortable with discussing X.

Do you also want to work this out?

What would half a step look like for you?

SlumberKitty · Mar 05, 2021 at 01:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

I’ll eat peanut m&ms, but peanut butter M&Ms, that’s the stuff.

I agree! The peanut butter ones are delicious!

NP_Complete · Mar 05, 2021 at 01:23 PM

What exactly was it in this situation for him to panic about? And he most certainly threw down a gauntlet. I hope your session goes well and you can negotiate a truce.

ArtieTheSequal · Mar 05, 2021 at 01:41 PM

I slept in by about 2 hours (blissful!) this morning, got up and fed the cats then went for a walk, day 10 of my 10 day commitment to myself, was almost 1.5 miles. Then got ready and went to dr appointment, follow up about my shoulder after I got the xray. She rescheduled the first one that had been for right after. Anyway she confirmed what I thought I understood from the online report, that there's no tear, and she is calling it osteoarthritis and is sending me to physical therapy. I never heard from the PT place so she's contacting them again. Now I'm back home puttering around the house, til it's time to go to t.

SlumberKitty · Mar 05, 2021 at 01:46 PM

Is your shoulder still as painful, Artie? My sister has a bad time with her back. Her doctors said it is from carrying five children. Plus she has scoliosis like me. She is trying acupuncture and cupping. The cupping looks painful but she says it's not. She also goes to a chiropractor. She did physical therapy and pain management. Now she is doing pain management and alternative therapies. Just wondered if you had tried anything like that for your shoulder? (Not saying you should or shouldn't, just that there are options out there if you don't hear back from the PT place.)

SlumberKitty · Mar 05, 2021 at 01:46 PM

My sister has osteoarthritis in the back. I forgot to say that part.

SlumberKitty · Mar 05, 2021 at 01:47 PM

Got paid today so paid some bills. I paid my car registration earlier this week which I feel good about. It isn't due until May but I had the money so I wanted to pay it. I have to get my taxes done, hopefully next week. And then I will be set. Nothing else hanging over my head.

ArtieTheSequal · Mar 05, 2021 at 01:51 PM

I just got an email that a concert we'd bought tickets for before the pandemic (Foreigner), that was pushed out and then put on indefinite hold, has now been cancelled and a refund is being sent to our credit card. It's just as well, since they've had our money for over a year!

LonesomeTonight · Mar 05, 2021 at 02:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArtieTheSequal

I just got an email that a concert we'd bought tickets for before the pandemic (Foreigner), that was pushed out and then put on indefinite hold, has now been cancelled and a refund is being sent to our credit card. It's just as well, since they've had our money for over a year!

Aw, that sucks. We had tickets to one concert (The National) from last summer where we had the option to get a refund, get a gift card to the venue, or donate it to the venue. I hadn't actually been to that venue before, and they were fairly expensive ticket, so I got a refund. For another concert (New Order and Pet Shop Boys) that was supposed to be last September, they rescheduled it to this coming September, so I kept the tickets. It's an outdoor venue, so I really hope it still happens.

ElectricManatee · Mar 05, 2021 at 02:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chihirochild

For anyone interested in my ongoing T saga:

Psychiatrist spoke with T. She told him to back off, loosen up. He said he didn't mean to throw down a gauntlet... but he did. She said he really wants to keep working with me, that he and I have done years of good work, that he wants to work out this stalemate. She said he must have just panicked. She said that T and I shouldn't try to reconstruct what happened and why everything got so messed up, that we should just try to go forward. She advised that I try to take a half-step forward him and see what happens... and if it gets messed up again, she'll take another crack at it.

I'm "seeing" him via Zoom in a few hours.

I dunno about this.

Pretend it isn't happening and just move on seems like terrible advice. He ignored your boundaries (again!) and she's enabling it by telling you to overlook his inappropriate behavior and keep working with him. I don't understand what would make him panic, and regardless, a therapist who can get panicky about their client and then throw good judgment out the window is kind of scary.

LonesomeTonight · Mar 05, 2021 at 02:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chihirochild

For anyone interested in my ongoing T saga:

Psychiatrist spoke with T. She told him to back off, loosen up. He said he didn't mean to throw down a gauntlet... but he did. She said he really wants to keep working with me, that he and I have done years of good work, that he wants to work out this stalemate. She said he must have just panicked. She said that T and I shouldn't try to reconstruct what happened and why everything got so messed up, that we should just try to go forward. She advised that I try to take a half-step forward him and see what happens... and if it gets messed up again, she'll take another crack at it.

I'm "seeing" him via Zoom in a few hours.

I dunno about this.

I hope it goes well, Chihiro, but I'd be feeling very uncertain, too. He clearly did give you an ultimatum. And I feel like you do need to talk through what happened in order to move forward (that's how I am, anyway) rather than just sweeping it under the rug.

LonesomeTonight · Mar 05, 2021 at 02:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NP_Complete

What exactly was it in this situation for him to panic about? And he most certainly threw down a gauntlet. I hope your session goes well and you can negotiate a truce.

That's a really good question: What was there was for him to panic about?

atisketatasket · Mar 05, 2021 at 02:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

That's a really good question: What was there was for him to panic about?

It sounds like is the psychiatrist saying he panicked, not the therapist himself, but if that’s accurate as to his POV, I agree, what is he panicking about?

His answer would probably be something like he’s concerned for chihiro’s mental health, but I think the real danger to that in this situation was the therapist himself.

Chihiro, you can choose to move on if that’s what you want, but me personally, I would need an apology and some sense the therapist understood the damage they had done and had thought about how they could adjust their approach before I did that. I mean, there’s mistakes and then there’s throwing down gauntlets.

Hope it goes/went well.

stopdog · Mar 05, 2021 at 03:39 PM

I would not accept an apology from this guy - I would not trust it. It would be like my cat apologizing to the dead bird's family - it would be insincere and probably "I am sorry you are upset I ate Bill the Bird" rather than "I am sorry I was an idiot and will stop trying to control you" - and even then I would not believe he meant it. Even a therapist is usually able to come up with a lie

Daffydungle · Mar 05, 2021 at 04:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

Yes—can’t eat them anymore (gluten) but I liked them.

You can defer chocolate for 48 hours?

Is that some kind of superpower?

Its the difference betwwen want and need if i had needed chocolate i would have just gone and got it. I have other sweeties in the house so i dont really need it.

chihirochild · Mar 05, 2021 at 05:00 PM

Well, that was a colossal bust. Psychiatrist made it sound like T had budged a little but he absolutely had not. Eff the both of them.

I texted my BF trying to explain why I am sad about this, and I don’t feel like he gets it. (How could he; he’s a pretty reserved guy who could never open up to a therapist.) I’m okay with him not getting it, but then he said, “don’t be sad” which is just the dumbest thing in the face of the earth to say to someone who is sad.

Now I’m all spinning out and worried that BF will break up with me when I tell him the extent of my mental health stuff and then I’ll be T-less and BF-less to boot and then I’ll just be so so so sad.

ArtieTheSequal · Mar 05, 2021 at 05:00 PM

Got home from my session a little big ago, 'twas a really good one. Another one of those that the time goes by super fast. I told her (quite animatedly, I was excited) a little about the workshop last weekend, and then we did some dream work which took most of the session since I had brought in 9 dreams (had one last night too!) Lots of good material to work with. It amazes me that we could discuss 9 whole dreams in less than an hour. Then again my dreams have really changed since October, they're shorter, less chaotic, and single-subject now. Also, this going down to twice a month is working out really well, I think.

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Couch 225: 2+2=5, Sheeple!

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unaluna Elder Harridan x-hankster Member Since Jun 2011 Location: Milan/Michigan Posts: 39,834 (SuperPoster!) 12 66.3k hugs given	Mar 05, 2021 at 10:04 AM #141 Aaaahhhh!!!! I eat Batchelor tomato soup!!!

NP_Complete Grand Magnate Member Since Feb 2017 Location: the upside down Posts: 3,804 7 6,349 hugs given	Mar 05, 2021 at 01:23 PM #146 What exactly was it in this situation for him to panic about? And he most certainly threw down a gauntlet. I hope your session goes well and you can negotiate a truce.

SlumberKitty Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jul 2018 Location: CA Posts: 27,329 (SuperPoster!) 5 117.7k hugs given	Mar 05, 2021 at 01:46 PM #149 My sister has osteoarthritis in the back. I forgot to say that part. __________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA

SlumberKitty Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jul 2018 Location: CA Posts: 27,329 (SuperPoster!) 5 117.7k hugs given	Mar 05, 2021 at 01:47 PM #150 Got paid today so paid some bills. I paid my car registration earlier this week which I feel good about. It isn't due until May but I had the money so I wanted to pay it. I have to get my taxes done, hopefully next week. And then I will be set. Nothing else hanging over my head. __________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA

ArtieTheSequal Writing my way through... Member Since Feb 2020 Location: In the desert Posts: 7,218 (SuperPoster!) 4 5,754 hugs given	Mar 05, 2021 at 01:51 PM #151 I just got an email that a concert we'd bought tickets for before the pandemic (Foreigner), that was pushed out and then put on indefinite hold, has now been cancelled and a refund is being sent to our credit card. It's just as well, since they've had our money for over a year!