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nottrustin
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Default Mar 02, 2021 at 07:28 PM
  #1
The day before my appointments T sends reminder messages. Yesterday she did not. So The fear of something happening and her and her dying was triggered. Logically I knew things were likely fine but emotionally It triggered thr traumatic experience of long term Ts death. I got a horrible night's sleep . I did not message her because I feared she would not respond. I decided to wait to message her until today if she didn't contact me. Fortunately, this morning, she did message me. I replied by thanking her and telling her that I was a little worried something has happened to her. She was understanding because of my past.

In our appointment, it felt really awkward and vulnerable talking about it. Also a couple of weeks ago she was in a skiing accident and sprained her leg and knee. She explained things were busy at home plus she was in a lot of pain so forgot until it was too late to text; she also didn't look at her phone.

We actually had a good discussion. She also said the likelihood I would lose 2 therapist is very low. I told her if something happens to her I would I forever quit therapy. We laughed and she said she would totally support that choice. Man life and therapy can be complication.

Just wish I could figure out how to not be so worried about her safety

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Default Mar 03, 2021 at 11:21 AM
  #2
Well, you care about her.. It's difficult to switch the worry off when we care. Especially in light of what happened with your ex-T. It's good that you had a helpful discussion about it though.
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Default Mar 03, 2021 at 03:18 PM
  #3
Thank you and I know you are right. I am very fortunate in that from thr very beginning she has not only told me to tell me if something she does hurts or upset me but she has proven it.

Complicating matters right now is that I honestly believe she is struggling right now just like everybody else is. She is very professional and has not said anything and always focusing on me in our appointments. However, I can tell thing are different and some of thr responses to something I say indicates she understands where I am at emotionally right now. As a mother hen with everybody, I care about, I am worried that she, in an attempt to help her clients, whom many are struggling, and her bot being mobile right now is not able to utilize good self care that she has said is essential for her.

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Default Mar 03, 2021 at 04:43 PM
  #4
Good for you for discussing the issue so openly!


I have an understanding of how you feel, because my first long-term therapist was through the veteran's administration (my husband is a vet). My T and I saw each other for 6 years, then one day I went in and he told me he'd been transferred with 1 day's notice. That was it. He was crying, I was crying. He left the next day, no closure. Nothing. The trauma of that loss was absolutely horrible. It took decades before I could get into therapy again. Now with my second long-term T I constantly worry that there will be a repeat of no, or very short, notice and she'll leave. Or she'll die.

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Default Mar 03, 2021 at 06:42 PM
  #5
Quote:
Originally Posted by BethRags View Post
Good for you for discussing the issue so openly!


I have an understanding of how you feel, because my first long-term therapist was through the veteran's administration (my husband is a vet). My T and I saw each other for 6 years, then one day I went in and he told me he'd been transferred with 1 day's notice. That was it. He was crying, I was crying. He left the next day, no closure. Nothing. The trauma of that loss was absolutely horrible. It took decades before I could get into therapy again. Now with my second long-term T I constantly worry that there will be a repeat of no, or very short, notice and she'll leave. Or she'll die.
That is horrible, I am sorry.

Thr one silver lining of my situation was I had actually been seeing current T every other week for 10 months when my long term T passed away. I had only been seeing her for EMDR and it was intended
to be short term. Emdr T was so supportive and there when I cried A LOT. She also offered to be my full time T. During that time, I told her I feared losing her suddenly. I don't know how I would have survived without her. It triggered all of my abandonment issues as well unhealed grief from my mom's death. I don't know if would have sought out therapy had I already had a therapeutic relationship with current T.

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Default Mar 11, 2021 at 01:56 PM
  #6
Quote:
Originally Posted by nottrustin View Post
The day before my appointments T sends reminder messages. Yesterday she did not. So The fear of something happening and her and her dying was triggered. Logically I knew things were likely fine but emotionally It triggered thr traumatic experience of long term Ts death. I got a horrible night's sleep . I did not message her because I feared she would not respond. I decided to wait to message her until today if she didn't contact me. Fortunately, this morning, she did message me. I replied by thanking her and telling her that I was a little worried something has happened to her. She was understanding because of my past.

In our appointment, it felt really awkward and vulnerable talking about it. Also a couple of weeks ago she was in a skiing accident and sprained her leg and knee. She explained things were busy at home plus she was in a lot of pain so forgot until it was too late to text; she also didn't look at her phone.

We actually had a good discussion. She also said the likelihood I would lose 2 therapist is very low. I told her if something happens to her I would I forever quit therapy. We laughed and she said she would totally support that choice. Man life and therapy can be complication.

Just wish I could figure out how to not be so worried about her safety
Did she remember to remind you this week?

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Default Mar 11, 2021 at 07:26 PM
  #7
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Originally Posted by coolibrarian View Post
Did she remember to remind you this week?
Yes, she did.

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