To T or Not to T... that is the question

I actually told her a few weeks later how I felt that it was unprofessional, and that I didn't feel comfortable seeing her again, and asked her to clear me to see a different doctor instead. She said I was being too sensitive, and cleared me to see another doctor.

Good lord, you are too sensitive? How about she gets some lessons in good manners or etiquette?!

Glad you spoke up and that you are seeing another, hopefully, more respectful doctor.

Yes, my new Psych doc is really really really really nice. Funny, the VA doesn't mind people being on medication for their mental health issues for the rest of their lives, but therapy is 12 sessions and that's it. LOL.

So I'm going to cancel my next appointment with my current therapist who is dumping me because the VA limits the # of sessions. Because - if he said to me, "Look, you've got issues you need help with but the VA will only approve 12 sessions. When we're done here, I advise you to XYZ, but don't just give up, whatever you do." then I could respect that. I can't respect the "What you have now is just going to have to be good enough for you because the VA won't approve any more" - how can a doctor say that with a straight face? Every other civilian doctor I've seen who has gotten a run-around by the VA on medications or tests or treatments has said "This is BS, you need this treatment/test/medicine, and we're going to fight for it" which is a reasonable stance, I think. I actually did have one doctor who got so frustrated with VA refusal to approve tests/medicines that he stopped seeing veteran patients altogether which kind of stunk. But a doctor who looks at a patient who cries during every session, reports severe depression, has a lifetime of trauma, and says, "Good enough." - I just don't think I could look him in the face again.
I've signed up with an online therapist but I'm getting frustrated there too, because all I get are what look like canned answers. I feel like I'm talking with a bot. All the reviews for this person are sooooo glowing but my experience is just not good so far. I'm trying to decide whether to ask for another one, or tough it out for a while and see if it gets better. Seems like nothing is ever easy, lol.

@Toughcooki,

First of all, thank you very much for your service.

I am so sorry for what you are having to go through. You know it SUCKS the way the VA treats their soldiers. It really does. They are so disrespectful.

That's good that you cancelled him. Save your money.

Now that you are going outside the VA, I should tell you that many psychologists do EMDR. There is good research that supports this treatment. I have been having EMDR treatments for years for the trauma that I have experienced. He has also worked used this technique with military veterans.

My psychologist told me that the more traumatic the experience, the faster you are able to access the negative feelings. When this happens, the faster the technique works.

Just make sure that the psychologist is following the Francie Shapiro, Ph.d method. Dr. Shapiro is the one who developed this technique.

I hope you can find someone outside the VA. Please let us know how it goes.

Again, thank you again for your service. I am sorry for what you are going through.

Thank you, I appreciate your comments. My psych doctor, who manages my meds, actually agreed with me that going through the VA for therapy is counter-productive bc of the way they handle it, with the 12 sessions and that's it.... because I have too many issues to cover in 12 sessions, so she's putting in an order to allow me to have long-term therapy outside the VA, with the VA paying for it! She is just so nice. that the word 'nice' doesn't even cover it.

Wow, that's awesome of your psych doctor. I'm glad you may have found a solution that works! I hope you can find a good therapist that will work with you long term so you can live a full and happy life.

Glad that you told her that she was being unprofessional. It REALLY kills me when therapists turn around and state that the client was being too sensitive, when they were being disgusting and unprofessional af.

You know this is just to add on to what you said here. It is so tiring and frustrating to have to constantly repeat the traumas that you go through to each new therapist.

Toughcooki, that is AWESOME NEWS! I am glad to hear that!

Reading through your story made me so sad. And soooo angry that the VA system is so horribly broken.
Glad that you may be getting yo the therapy you need and deserve.
Dont give up!

I didnt address my childhood issues until a few years ago.
Been very fortunate to connect with a therapist who gets me and Ive made much progress. Its awful that Ive been able to see a therapist with no time consteaints with a small copay while your experience is so very difficult.

Wish you better going forward!

Thank you so much! Yes, she is AWESOME. I hope so too!

Thank you! And I agree about having to start over w/ new therapists every 12 sessions. it's awful. It's awful to have to blurt out the traumas, but having to do it over and over with each new therapist is just. ... Ugh!

Thank you. I hope I'll have a good T when this is all done. The VA system is better in some ways, since we can see doctors on the outside now where 10 years ago that wasn't the case. But the mental health aspect of the VA is a mess. They just very recently shut down group therapy and all long-term therapy in favor of the 12 session model. As time goes forward I'm sure they'll realize the error, but right now it's really tough on people. I'm glad you have a good therapist! I hope you keep making progress!

That is a shame! The VA is the one place where veterans can get support from a group.

I hope you can find a good psychologist to work with.

Thank you very much. I agree - especially combat vets, no one else really understands that other than someone who's gone through it.

I am glad by the end of this thread you got a Psych Doc that put you in for Care in the Community, especially during this time we were in. I am a Veteran too with PTSD. I have a therapist in the community too. Been with her for 7 years. I have learned that you really need to be your own advocate for care. Going to the Patient Advocate, and even to the director of Patient Care of the hospital. That got things moving when I needed it too. VA system needs work. Community care as gone through 4 different vendors in the 7 years I have been with my therapist. Its now with Optum. Unsure of the process so far but the beginning of it all was horrible. March 25 I got a call from CITC about starting with my therapist back in Feb and seeing if I got the care I needed, at least trying to see if its working though months to late.

Yes, I was actually referring to combat vets. Thank you for mentioning it.

You know if they had combat support groups for the different wars, I think that would be helpful. For instance, one group for Iraqi Freedom, one group for desert storm, one group for Vietnam vets.

You might want to look for a psychologist that specializes in PTSD for vets. If there isn't any, than just ask about PTSD.

It really is a mess - but even though we have to yell and scream and fight to get care, at least we can get care now. When I first got out, it was VA or the highway, and if the VA said you were fine, you just go home and suffer, lol.
I'm glad you have a good long-term therapist, and I hope she's helping you!

I agree - every action is different, so you'd think the support groups would be different as well.