To T or Not to T... that is the question

The first therapist I saw was someone who was only allowed by the nature of the charity that she worked for to conduct short term therapy. We did have several months though, just long enough for her to determine that I needed very long term therapy. I was so lucky that she recognised that, told me that and waited for me to find someone who would work with me like that. You have not been afforded that same service and that is shocking. Maybe they are trying to just build up their numbers of 'fixed' people. Whatever their issue is, it is not your fault. A lifetime of crap can take years to work through, especially if you are untrusting in nature because of your past and especially if you have a 'shut down and deny' mentality. Something the military teaches you to do with your emotions from day one! I have been in therapy not for about five years. We have made enormous progress in some areas and very little in others. I asked my T just last week whether she thought continuing could help and she said that yes, she still felt there was work to be done. Not in a money grabbing way but in a way that she wants me to feel not so trapped by the weight of my feelings. Or something like that. Anyway, your original question was does everyone feel bad all the time. I think the answer is no. I think that as humans it is natural that we all suffer sometime. That we all feel shame sometimes. That we all have dark days. But there should also be light, hope, fun, positivity etc. It should be balanced. Trust yourself is something my T often says to me. You know in your gut what is right for you and it seems from your post that you know you need more help, so go out there and get it. You will likely need to go private if the service you were using won't help but for me, it has been the best thousands of pounds I have spent, and I will continue spending it all the time I believe I am benefiting or will benefit. (Right now it seems hopeless to me some days but I trust in the process enough having made such incredible changes in my life because of therapy) go for it, I say.

Thanks for this. I'm paying out of pocket right now, as the consult for the VA to pay for it just never seems to go through. And I just really need it. Every day it seems like I uncover something else that is messing up the way I handle day-to-day life. I will just keep plugging along and eventually maybe I'll slog my way through enough of it that I can feel better!