Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLVI

unaluna · May 03, 2021 at 11:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

... Maybe this is another case of it very much showing how this is a professional relationship, because I imagine if your friend or family member were vaccinated, you'd be willing to see them in person indoors unmasked, per current CDC guidelines...

LT, for your sake, i would hope he would not! Because then he would be subjecting you to whatever cootie his friend or family member may have come in contact with and unwittingly passed to him.

Geez, it's like the beginning of AIDS / HIV all over again. Only it's not "you're sleeping with everybody x has slept with."

IMO, until the pandemic is over, the CDC is just trying to keep the proper influence on whatever groups of people they might be able to influence. Like medical personnel.

Would be nice if the churches would agree, but church is political - which seems unamerican!

Otherwise, business is more important than the CDC in the USA. Your t is just saying your family's health, and his family's health, are more important to him than business. Thats his bottom line. Isnt that where you want it?

nottrustin · May 04, 2021 at 08:01 AM

Ugh. I wish we didn't have an appointment today. I am in a horrible place and I am upset with everybody who doesn't understand my grief. If I talk about it we always go down the path of someday I will get to the point that I will not grieve the loss but celebrate thr relationship and remember the good times. You will also try to use CBT which is not helpful in making me feel better. I always feel like you are telling me I am wrong and should not feel the way I do.

I do wish we could meet in person instead over video. I hate it.

LonesomeTonight · May 04, 2021 at 08:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unaluna

LT, for your sake, i would hope he would not! Because then he would be subjecting you to whatever cootie his friend or family member may have come in contact with and unwittingly passed to him.

Geez, it's like the beginning of AIDS / HIV all over again. Only it's not "you're sleeping with everybody x has slept with."

IMO, until the pandemic is over, the CDC is just trying to keep the proper influence on whatever groups of people they might be able to influence. Like medical personnel.

Would be nice if the churches would agree, but church is political - which seems unamerican!

Otherwise, business is more important than the CDC in the USA. Your t is just saying your family's health, and his family's health, are more important to him than business. Thats his bottom line. Isnt that where you want it?

Don't want to get in a long debate about this, but the CDC also says it's safe for two vaccinated people to meet indoors unmasked. In theory, there shouldn't be cootie spread (well, COVID cooties--my D's illness last week reminded me that other germs, like norovirus, are alive and well--yes, we did have her tested for COVID, and she was negative).

It just feels like they're mixed messages from the CDC? So I have no excuse to avoid gathering with my family and in-laws anymore (as we're all vaccinated), but I can't see my therapist in person unmasked. I'd prefer it be the other way around!

Lemoncake · May 04, 2021 at 01:12 PM

Session with new T who is not you on the 15th.

LonesomeTonight · May 04, 2021 at 03:19 PM

Dear T,
Why am I so sad about this? It feels like it set me on this "What's the point?" spiral. I doubt you'll understand. But I think it's tied into my thinking that vaccine = path back to normal, except it clearly isn't, really.
Love,
LT

*Beth* · May 04, 2021 at 06:29 PM

Thank you for being upfront with me about feeling sad today so I didn't have to wonder. Or ask.

Mystical_Being · May 04, 2021 at 07:18 PM

exT,

You are like a bowl of ice cream and my new T is a bowl of carrots. You are what I really want and she is what I really need. Carrots will help me more in the long term to be healthy so its what I need but damn, sometimes I just want ice cream

*Beth* · May 04, 2021 at 08:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

Dear T,
I'm not sure how I feel yet about your pushing back in-person. If you're waiting for APA to give the OK to meet without masks, I'm concerned you may be waiting a long time. Honestly, I'm concerned it would be for the rest of this year, even. I hope they provide other guidance.

I mean...isn't part of the point of getting vaccinated to be able to return more to normal? And if you're talking about things like me working toward eating inside restaurants, yet won't let me in your office unmasked, I feel like that sends a really mixed message? At some point, I feel like it has to be up to you to decide what you're willing to do--like you said, the APA provides guidelines, and you wouldn't be stripped of your license for meeting with vaccinated clients in person without masks.

OK, I guess this is bothering me somewhat... I guess I just hoped that potentially seeing you in person later this month would help me get back out there more. And would get me to leave the house a few days a week for a specific reason.

I just don't see why you should be grouped with all "healthcare professionals" (as it mentioned in that statement). You see a set number of clients on a regular basis, which is very different from, say, an ER doctor or nurse, or even a primary care doctor.

Maybe this is another case of it very much showing how this is a professional relationship, because I imagine if your friend or family member were vaccinated, you'd be willing to see them in person indoors unmasked, per current CDC guidelines...

Love,
LT

^^^ I could have written this myself.

nottrustin · May 05, 2021 at 05:02 AM

I love that in the midst of emotionally charged appointments we can find humor and tender moments. Watching you expression as you called yourself a sadist for poking people to bring up painful memories and emotions was priceless. Fortunately, I know you enough to know have taken it the right way so both had a good laugh at both of our expense.

Then to flip to talking about out work together and how much we both like the work we do together. When you did I am a great client because of all the hard work I put in and how much growth you have witnessed was nice. Also, about how you enjoy that faith and religion is a big part of my therapy and that you love that you can incorporate it in our discussions. I takes me wonder if you read y post about not wanting to attend this week. I am thankful kful I did.

LonesomeTonight · May 05, 2021 at 05:20 AM

Dear T,
Well, I may have to switch to twice a week (or once?) sooner than I thought, because it looks like I screwed up with something I submitted to one of my accounts, submitting an old version of a document I edited. And I'm worried they'll fire me. Even though I've been doing quality work for them for 10 years and have no idea how this could have happened. Except I was distracted and really anxious last week. I just hope I hear back from them before my session. I wish I'd somehow realized what had happened when there was still time to fix it--likely too late now... I'm such an idiot...

Love,
LT

ScarletPimpernel · May 05, 2021 at 09:20 AM

L,
Please, please, please respond! H has been really bad last night and this morning. I need you so much right now!

SlumberKitty · May 05, 2021 at 11:12 AM

Dear Dr. K. I am doing your homework. I am coming up with more things than I thought. I still don't like homework. But I know it is for my own good. Please be a good T for me. Thanks. Kit

LostOnTheTrail · May 05, 2021 at 01:50 PM

I know that eleventh hour emails the day before session aren't a good idea, but there are some things I want to share that I'm worried about not being able to, given the circumstances.

Please be gentle with me?

nottrustin · May 05, 2021 at 02:43 PM

Thank you for responding to my emails in such a lovely way today. It is a hard time but I am trying to celebrate my mom rather than allowing it to get me down. But, man, is it hard to do.

LonesomeTonight · May 05, 2021 at 03:17 PM

Dear T,
I think everything is OK with my job and I've managed to make up for it successfully. Part of me wants to email an update, but it can hold until Friday.

I'm of course not glad it happened, but I am glad that it helped you realize the extent of my catastrophizing (though I'm not entirely sure how you didn't realize that before?). And how, like you said, it extends to different areas of my life, like friendships, too.

And it helped that you expressed compassion toward my reaction to your putting off resuming in person. Were you tearing up again at one point? It seemed like it. Around when I said how it felt like just one more thing that had been pushed back and another delay to getting back to normal in some way. It seemed like you felt bad for causing additional frustration/sadness for me around that, even though, as I said, I know you're just trying to be cautious. But it's still a decision of yours that affects me, even if it's based on professional board recommendations.

Love,
LT

Lemoncake · 04:04 PM

I just cancelled the session I made with G. I don't feel ready for therapy with anyone else. If the truth be told it was just making me more anxious. Plus as it's 10 days in advance I don't feel guilty- he could fill it up with someone else. My sister's T asks for 48 hours in advance.

SlumberKitty · May 05, 2021 at 03:38 PM

Dear Dr. K. I did more of your homework. Blah. I hate you a little bit right now. But I don't really know you so I think I am just hating the homework. Kit

ArtieTheSequal · May 05, 2021 at 07:29 PM

Thanks L for today. It was lovely.

LostOnTheTrail · May 06, 2021 at 07:13 AM

It can be hard to have the session I need to have with somebody else in the house.
This was one of those times. Our next session falls on my birthday, so I am tempted to keep it light, but that really isn't the point.

The_little_didgee · May 06, 2021 at 12:11 PM

It was nice to see you in person rather than on OTN. Thanks for the chocolate.

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Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLVI

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Lemoncake Luna's offical mini me. Member Since May 2017 Location: Cafe Nervosa. Posts: 9,691 (SuperPoster!) 6 10.2k hugs given	May 04, 2021 at 01:12 PM #364 Session with new T who is not you on the 15th. __________________ "Love, like life, flows Through the heart. Feel the thrill of the flow And say nothing."

LonesomeTonight Always in This Twilight Member Since Feb 2015 Location: US Posts: 20,731 (SuperPoster!) 9 74.9k hugs given	May 04, 2021 at 03:19 PM #365 Dear T, Why am I so sad about this? It feels like it set me on this "What's the point?" spiral. I doubt you'll understand. But I think it's tied into my thinking that vaccine = path back to normal, except it clearly isn't, really. Love, LT

Beth catches the flowers Member Since Jul 2019 Location: Downtown Vibes, California Posts: 15,701 (SuperPoster!) 4 23.7k hugs given	May 04, 2021 at 06:29 PM #366 Thank you for being upfront with me about feeling sad today so I didn't have to wonder. Or ask. __________________

Mystical_Being Member Member Since May 2017 Location: US Posts: 79 6 922 hugs given	May 04, 2021 at 07:18 PM #367 exT, You are like a bowl of ice cream and my new T is a bowl of carrots. You are what I really want and she is what I really need. Carrots will help me more in the long term to be healthy so its what I need but damn, sometimes I just want ice cream

ScarletPimpernel Wise Elder Member Since Nov 2013 Location: US Posts: 8,405 (SuperPoster!) 10 6,399 hugs given	May 05, 2021 at 09:20 AM #371 L, Please, please, please respond! H has been really bad last night and this morning. I need you so much right now! __________________ "Odium became your opium..." ~Epica

SlumberKitty Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jul 2018 Location: CA Posts: 27,329 (SuperPoster!) 5 117.7k hugs given	May 05, 2021 at 11:12 AM #372 Dear Dr. K. I am doing your homework. I am coming up with more things than I thought. I still don't like homework. But I know it is for my own good. Please be a good T for me. Thanks. Kit __________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA

nottrustin Grand Magnate Member Since Jan 2014 Location: n/a Posts: 4,819 10 375 hugs given	May 05, 2021 at 02:43 PM #374 Thank you for responding to my emails in such a lovely way today. It is a hard time but I am trying to celebrate my mom rather than allowing it to get me down. But, man, is it hard to do. __________________

SlumberKitty Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jul 2018 Location: CA Posts: 27,329 (SuperPoster!) 5 117.7k hugs given	May 05, 2021 at 03:38 PM #377 Dear Dr. K. I did more of your homework. Blah. I hate you a little bit right now. But I don't really know you so I think I am just hating the homework. Kit __________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA

ArtieTheSequal Writing my way through... Member Since Feb 2020 Location: In the desert Posts: 7,219 (SuperPoster!) 4 5,754 hugs given	May 05, 2021 at 07:29 PM #378 Thanks L for today. It was lovely.

The_little_didgee Grand Magnate Member Since Apr 2013 Location: Ontario Land Posts: 3,549 11	May 06, 2021 at 12:11 PM #380 It was nice to see you in person rather than on OTN. Thanks for the chocolate. __________________ Dx: Didgee Disorder