[Iamher3]

"I am not trying to convince you...."

So few of our sessions went like this

My T will say "you are ....(all good qualities) and you brought this into the session...(T will give supporting evidence)"

While the evidence is factual, I am unable to see how I am all these good things. and I tell my T. i hear you. i understand what you are saying. but I really don't see myself as these things...

at this point, my T will say I am not trying to convince you....which annoys the hell out of me.

It feels like I am giving him a hard time...or If i am not agreeing...its because i am expecting him to convince me...
i don't know what my response should be...after he says all good things to me and i disagree. i really don't see myself as what he describes.

something about the phrase "i am not trying to convince you" is really off putting.

i hate it when he says this...and i wish he would stop.

on other hand..i am thinking maybe its my response...if i could change that...maybe he will stop using that phrase.

am i misinterpreting? help me see the other side, if there is one...

[ArtleyWilkins]

I hear his words as "this is what I see in you and I realize you don't see yourself this way at this point."

It took me many years to be able to just say "thank you". I worked so hard at knocking myself down, rejecting the good others saw in me, that I couldn't graciously accept that perhaps other people saw me much more positively that I was able to see myself.

Learning to just say "thank you" without fighting or rejecting the kind words of others took me a long way towards finally being able to hear and see what they saw.

[stopdog]

I would tell the woman to just stop talking or I would say okay. I never found anything woman said to be useful so telling her to stop talking was the best thing I did besides quitting altogether

[East17]

My T doesn't try to convince me exactly, but she does tell me I'm worth caring about. That she wishes I could see the positive things in myself that others see in me.

Like ArtleyWilkins, I hear what T is saying, but I have a hard time believing it. I think this is a really common thing with people who have low self esteem.

Working to change ones perception of oneself isn't easy, just because a person says something positive about you, doesn't make you automatically believe it.

[atisketatasket]

I have forbidden my therapist from using certain words or phrases that annoy me. She (usually) remembers to comply.

[*Beth*]

"I'm not trying to convince you"....
I would have to say (in a non-defensive way), "Are you sure?"
Because when someone says, I'm not trying to convince you, they are usually trying to convince you.

[nottrustin]

Originally Posted by Iamher3

"I am not trying to convince you...."

So few of our sessions went like this

My T will say "you are ....(all good qualities) and you brought this into the session...(T will give supporting evidence)"

While the evidence is factual, I am unable to see how I am all these good things. and I tell my T. i hear you. i understand what you are saying. but I really don't see myself as these things...

at this point, my T will say I am not trying to convince you....which annoys the hell out of me.

It feels like I am giving him a hard time...or If i am not agreeing...its because i am expecting him to convince me...
i don't know what my response should be...after he says all good things to me and i disagree. i really don't see myself as what he describes.

something about the phrase "i am not trying to convince you" is really off putting.

i hate it when he says this...and i wish he would stop.

on other hand..i am thinking maybe its my response...if i could change that...maybe he will stop using that phrase.

am i misinterpreting? help me see the other side, if there is one...

I wonder if I what your T is trying to say so similar to what my Ts have both said in this situation, "I know you disagree and we can agree to disagree"

[Lostislost]

I don’t think my T has said that before, but I would find it annoying too. Sometimes I have no idea how to reply to something as well....like he said ‘how do you want to spend this time?’ at the start of a session when I was feeling really bad the other week. That made me feel even worse...and unwanted.

[Iamher3]

to me it feels like hes saying this is how I see it...take it or leave it. i don't care enough to talk further on this with you.