Couch 226--CCXXVI Couch

chihirochild · Apr 16, 2021 at 06:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stopdog

What does this even mean? How can you devalue a therapist? Why do they think they are valuable? What would that even mean? I mean - their narcissism is not the client's problem. I would correct one who called me a patient.

In therapist-speak, a “devaluing” client is one who criticizes the therapist’s methods and/or appears to hate the therapist’s guts.

ArtieTheSequal · Apr 16, 2021 at 06:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

That's my point--they resonate more with people who have an anxiety disorder (or acknowledge they do) than those who don't. I cannot imagine drinking a whole pool, so the comparison doesn't help me.

So the stalking comment *was* a joke or a colloquialism?

Something like that. Anyway she said she doesn't think that at all of me. That was when I got all emotional, after she said she doesn't think that of me. I was so relieved I cried.

I'm glad I asked though and shared how miserable I had been making myself over the thought of it, because it led to a good discussion about my fear of being wrong or bad or whatever. She asked "When are you just going to let that go?" I said, "I don't know." For once, she didn't call me on the "I don't know".

atisketatasket · Apr 16, 2021 at 06:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chihirochild

In therapist-speak, a “devaluing” client is one who criticizes the therapist’s methods and/or appears to hate the therapist’s guts.

*waves hand* ME!

At least the first part. And many of them thought the second.

stopdog · Apr 16, 2021 at 07:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chihirochild

In therapist-speak, a “devaluing” client is one who criticizes the therapist’s methods and/or appears to hate the therapist’s guts.

If that is all it is -then of course. I would think every thinking person does it then. But you have to hand it to them - they are good - who else can convince people to hand them money to do nothing and convince clients to accept the labels placed on them by those scam artists. I am most appalled when clients apologize to those grifters for being abused by the grifter.

atisketatasket · Apr 16, 2021 at 07:09 PM

Wait, is only the therapist judging what devaluing is? I call bias.

What do they want, total acquiescence and adoration?

stopdog · Apr 16, 2021 at 07:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

Wait, is only the therapist judging what devaluing is? I call bias.

What do they want, total acquiescence and adoration?

Yes, yes they do.

Quietmind 2 · Apr 16, 2021 at 07:16 PM

Hugs @chihirochild. Sending you care.

Quietmind 2 · Apr 16, 2021 at 07:22 PM

Glad you and L sorted it out, @ArtieTheSequal.
@SlumberKitty, I don't get panic attacks but I get really anxious after I send an email to T. Even though she only responds to like one third of them.

ArtieTheSequal · Apr 16, 2021 at 07:24 PM

Thanks QM.

ArtieTheSequal · Apr 16, 2021 at 07:25 PM

I finally ordered a new screen protector for my phone after I cracked the last one that day I fell down outside the dollar store. I don't know why it took me this long to order a new one! I pulled off the old one just now because I still hadn't checked to make sure the phone itself didn't crack, and the screen is perfect under the spider-web-looking screen protector. Whew!

ScarletPimpernel · Apr 16, 2021 at 07:26 PM

L wants to teach me DEAR MAN skill. And I feel insulated and 100% resistant. I try so hard to communicate clearly, directly, expressing myself using "I" statements, try to use dialectics, etc. I don't know why I have to learn these stupid acronyms.

Quietmind 2 · 09:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArtieTheSequal

my fear of being wrong or bad or whatever. She asked "When are you just going to let that go?" I said, "I don't know." For once, she didn't call me on the "I don't know".

Somehow, I'd get angry if my T said that. In my view, that fear is self protective and although it might hinder your current life now, hence the need to change, it's not as simple as "just let that go"? It just seems so dismissive?

I'm sorry if it's I'm wrong about L, Artie.

stopdog · Apr 16, 2021 at 07:28 PM

Maybe this would help explain panic attacks
Why Do I Feel Like I'm Dying During a Panic Attack?

atisketatasket · 08:10 PM

So doesn’t everybody here qualify as a therapist-devaluer? We’ve almost all questioned or criticized their methods.

I bought an under-desk elliptical, which I’ve moved in front of the TV when I watch baseball. My legs are churning away as I write and not being couch potato legs. I doubt many calories are being burned, but it feels good to still be in motion while resting.

stopdog · Apr 16, 2021 at 07:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

So doesn’t everybody here qualify as a therapist-devaluer? We’ve almost all questioned or criticized their methods.

I bought an under-desk elliptical, which I’ve moved in front of the TV when I watch baseball. My legs are churning away as I write and not being couch potato legs. I doubt many calories are being burned, but it feels good to still ve in motion while resting.

I have tried to set a good example on how to deal with those people.

I have one of those at my office at school. I had a ball chair thing but I kept bouncing on it and so it was not good to have student conferences when sitting on it

ArtieTheSequal · Apr 16, 2021 at 07:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Quietmind 2

Somehow, I'd get angry if my T said that. In my view, that fear is self protective and although it might hinder your current life now, hence the need to chant, it's not as simple as "just let that go"? It just seems so dismissive?

I'm sorry if it's I'm wrong about L, Artie.

Thanks. Yes, the fear when it was 'born' so to speak when I was a kid was just that, self protective. And her comment, coming at any other time than during the specific conversation we were having today, it would have felt dismissive. For some reason though, it just fit today, it was like briefly there, we were talking flawed human to flawed human and not t-hiding-behind-a-mask to client, and that was how I heard it. That moment did not last long, but it was long enough.

Incidentally one of my homework assignments is to tell my mother something big that I'm afraid of telling her (I'm going to have to anyway soon so I really should just get it over with). I think that once I do tell her this thing, I will be taking back the power that she obviously still has over me emotionally even though I am 58 years old. Once I take back that power - I don't think I will be worrying so much anymore about being bad/wrong.

Polibeth · Apr 16, 2021 at 08:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

So doesn’t everybody here qualify as a therapist-devaluer? We’ve almost all questioned or criticized their methods.

I bought an under-desk elliptical, which I’ve moved in front of the TV when I watch baseball. My legs are churning away as I write and not being couch potato legs. I doubt many calories are being burned, but it feels good to still ve in motion while resting.

I need one of these for when I watch baseball (which is all the time) - didn't know they existed!

daisydid · Apr 16, 2021 at 08:14 PM

Ah, I love when you guys make these wide sweeping statements about all therapists. It gives me this feeling that I can only describe as chaotic energy.

atisketatasket · Apr 16, 2021 at 08:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Polibeth

I need one of these for when I watch baseball (which is all the time) - didn't know they existed!

I have a cubii but I think there are several brands out there by now.

stopdog · Apr 16, 2021 at 08:48 PM

I think mine is a desk cycle but I could be wrong - I got mine used from a second hand shop. Mine is pretty old - I have had it for about 10 yrs now

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atisketatasket Child of a lesser god Member Since Jun 2015 Location: Tartarus Posts: 19,146 (SuperPoster!) 8 12.4k hugs given	Apr 16, 2021 at 07:09 PM #845 Wait, is only the therapist judging what devaluing is? I call bias. What do they want, total acquiescence and adoration?

Quietmind 2 Poohbah Member Since Jan 2020 Location: Somewhere I'm working to leave Posts: 1,243 4 8 hugs given	Apr 16, 2021 at 07:16 PM #847 Hugs @chihirochild. Sending you care.

Quietmind 2 Poohbah Member Since Jan 2020 Location: Somewhere I'm working to leave Posts: 1,243 4 8 hugs given	Apr 16, 2021 at 07:22 PM #848 Glad you and L sorted it out, @ArtieTheSequal. @SlumberKitty, I don't get panic attacks but I get really anxious after I send an email to T. Even though she only responds to like one third of them.

ArtieTheSequal Writing my way through... Member Since Feb 2020 Location: In the desert Posts: 7,224 (SuperPoster!) 4 5,756 hugs given	Apr 16, 2021 at 07:24 PM #849 Thanks QM.

ScarletPimpernel Wise Elder Member Since Nov 2013 Location: US Posts: 8,407 (SuperPoster!) 10 6,405 hugs given	Apr 16, 2021 at 07:26 PM #851 L wants to teach me DEAR MAN skill. And I feel insulated and 100% resistant. I try so hard to communicate clearly, directly, expressing myself using "I" statements, try to use dialectics, etc. I don't know why I have to learn these stupid acronyms. __________________ "Odium became your opium..." ~Epica

stopdog underdog is here Member Since Sep 2011 Location: blank Posts: 34,726 (SuperPoster!) 12 1 hugs given	Apr 16, 2021 at 07:28 PM #853 Maybe this would help explain panic attacks Why Do I Feel Like I'm Dying During a Panic Attack? __________________ Please NO @ Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.

daisydid Member Member Since Oct 2018 Location: the astral plane Posts: 493 5 375 hugs given	Apr 16, 2021 at 08:14 PM #858 Ah, I love when you guys make these wide sweeping statements about all therapists. It gives me this feeling that I can only describe as chaotic energy.